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Comic Relief
Submitted by D on Sun, 2003-09-07 11:07
Dittohd writes "Spending any serious time at this website can become seriously depressing after awhile. My son sent me these yesterday and I decided to share them here
Only in America…..
Go to read more.
1. can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. are there handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
3. do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
6. do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight.
7. do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures'.
8. do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Do you ever wonder….
1. why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
2. why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?
4. why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
5. why doctors call what they do "practice"?
6. why it is that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
7. why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
8. why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
9. why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour?
10. why there’s no mouse-flavored cat food?
11. when dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
12. why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
13. why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
14. Why they don't make the whole plane out of that same stuff that indestructible black box is made of?
15. why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
16. why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
17. if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
18. if flying is so safe, why they call the main section of an airport the terminal?"
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