'Serial kissers: what you need to know about babies'

Article here. Excerpt:

'People are up in arms that an adorable 6-year-old boy was suspended for sexual harassment after kissing a little girl he liked on the hand during reading group.

They say officials at Lincoln School of Science and Technology in Cañon City, Colorado took the discipline of first-grader Hunter Yelton too far even though the youngster admits his guilt.
...
As a society, we must fight nature at all costs and combat should begin before hand-kissing offenders reach the ripe old age of 6.

You’ve got to start these things young — like just out of the womb young.

Babies are the most dangerous serial kissers on the planet.

Stopping babies from kissing or showing any public or private affection is the only way we can live free of Hunter’s brand of sexual harassment.

Nothing and no one is safe from these precious beasts.'