Santa's Reindeer

Submitted by ThomasI on Wed, 2013-12-18 20:45

It is the current vogue to claim Santa's reindeer are really all female since male reindeer drop the antlers in December. This is an urban hoax. Henceforth, I concede nothing to feminism. Excerpt:

'Analysis: Well, look. If we're really going to let science be our guide in this matter, the first thing we have to admit is that reindeer don't fly, let alone haul a jolly fat elf around in an airborne sleigh. And if we start down that slippery slope, there's only one conclusion we can possibly reach: Santa Claus doesn't exist. That way lies madness.

But there's a loophole.
...
The experts go on to explain that some younger bulls, depending upon hereditary and environmental factors, may keep their antlers well into spring — even as late as April.

So it is plausible to suppose that if, for the sake of argument, there were a Santa Claus, and if, for the sake of argument, he did circumnavigate the globe in a reindeer-powered sleigh every December 25th, then at least some of those reindeer — including one in particular with a shiny, red nose — could be males.

Chalk one up for tradition, if just barely.'

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Comments

Yes, an apparently-immortal, non-aging old fat man (or is it elf?) living in an as-yet undiscovered, undoubtedly quite expansive place in the North Pole with an equally non-aging team of reindeer that can not only fly but haul the fat guy and a seemingly endless quantity of stuff on what would have to be a magic sled, since it can hold said near-endless amount of stuff in what is presumably a rather small space. Well, I could go on, but why bother?

This is like the recent hullabaloo about the teacher telling the student that Santa is white. Actually, what the teacher should have said was either a) Nothing, since why talk about nothing, which is what a non-existent magic fat elf at the North Pole is (or isn't) or b) Simply that there was in fact no such person as "Santa Claus', and that our current image of him is in fact a total fabrication by an anonymous 19th century poet. However in the poet's defense I must say if there is to be a Santa Claus character kicking around in kids' heads, I prefer it be the poet's version rather than some other people's.

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Submitted by Matt on Thu, 2013-12-19 03:02