"Secret lives of breadwinner wives"

Article here. What, not going to take even six months or so to really try it out?

I recall reading someplace, years ago as a teenager, that some sociologist predicted this kind of thing would happen if things kept going the way they were going. I sort of laughed at the idea and thought he must be wrong if a group of people want something so badly. Wouldn't they be happy once they got it? Well, maybe not. It's right up there with that old Chinese curse: "May you get what you want." A lot of wisdom behind that. Anyway, excerpt:

'It wasn't so long ago that my heart would race with pride and excitement when I heard upbeat statistics about women's earning prowess:
...
I'm over that now. As the mother of a nearly two-month-old son whose husband is leaving his job to take on most of the child care and prep for graduate school, the title "breadwinner" has come to feel an awful lot like "albatross."'

And of course, whose fault is it? Hubby's. He doesn't cook and clean enough, apparently. But further on, read:

'MP: And then there's me. Despite the fact that my husband does the lion's share (or is it the lioness' share?) of the domestic duties -- and I count my blessings that he doesn't resent the fact that my career, right now, is more lucrative -- I am a conflicted mess of gratitude, pride and steaming resentment.

To the outside world, we probably look like the storybook version of a spunky female career gal who falls for the supersmart artsy guy -- and together (cue the harps and a nice big sunset) they make it all work!

But in reality, I guess I was kinda sorta hoping this arrangement would be temporary.'

So is there anything that will make today's typical first-world woman truly happy? I don't think so, not for the average one. The list of wants and complaints just seems to know no bounds.

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Anna: Since their daughter was born two years ago, her husband has become the main caregiver. "I feel lucky that we can afford to do that," she says.

At the same time, she admits, she covers all the household expenses and cuts him a check for his needs, "and that part is uncomfortable," she says.

Um, yeah? Sitcom after sitcom teaches us that it's not YOUR money, it's the FAMILY'S money. The breadwinner isn't handing out allowances to their spouses, they are putting it in the family pot where decisions are made about what to do with it. If you see it as cutting the spouse a check (in other words, they are waiting at the door for their allowance), of course there will be role conflicts. Just not the conflict that you're thinking. He's probably not pissed that he has a penis and is not the breadwinner, he's pissed that you see him as another expense out of your wallet (or purse, in this case). God knows we have to hear fake housewives bitch to their fake husbands on sitcoms on a daily basis about this very same topic.

/rant

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Not only are these working women starting to get the fact that earning power is not spending power, they are also quickly learning that the family sees them as wallets. Add to that the possibility that all those hours put in at the office only deepen the breadwinner's slavery in the event of a divorce, with alimony tied to the number of years that the couple was married. In some states, alimony must be paid for the non-breadwinner's LIFETIME once a certain number of marriage years have transpired. Marriage isn't looking so hot when you're the provider.

Hello, ladies! We're men. Welcome to our world. You might have done better by staying home and nurturing the family and house, but you're trapped now. Woman power!

John Dias
Founder, DontMakeHerMad.com
"Stopping False Allegations with Surveillance Technology"

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Do you feel frustrated that your hubby doesn't know how hard you work for "your" money? My, my. The chickens are coming home to roost!

I wonder if your hubby knows that, in the state of california, he is ENTITLED to 50% (!!) of every dollar you bring in the front door!!

In other words, if you are not cutting him a check for 50% of "your" take home pay - you not only are ripping him off, you are committing "financial abuse" (per VAWA).

Ain't it crazy? How do you get a stay at home mom to get a job when she flat refuses to work?

oregon dad

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It was nice to see this article; to see that a lot of women out there are waking up and realizing how hard it is for a man to provide for his family. How hard it is to have your income viewed as family property. They don't like it!

It was also quite amusing how a lot of these female "breadwinners" have hopes of their husband supporting them eventually. It's interesting how a woman only seems interested in working to help the family if she believes it's only temporary. I sincerely hope that if any of these marriages break up that the women get sued for allimony and lose. Maybe that will expose yet another injustice that men face thanks to society's preferential treatment of females.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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How do you get a stay at home mom to get a job when she flat refuses to work?

Leave her and take the kids. Or better yet, don't marry her in the first place.

http://petepatriarch.blogspot.com - Old, phased out due to Google's policies. Archives here.
http://petepatriarch.wordpress.com - Current.

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Yes, and how dare these female chauvinist sows expect their poor oppressed and downtrodden house-husbands to have the house clean and a hot dinner waiting on the table for them the moment they come in the door after their comfortable little stint in the corporate boardroom? Don't they know just how tough it is to be a house-husband? It's endless toil and drudgery, being chained to the kitchen sink, without having to endure the selfish demands of a greedy breadwinner.

If only these women knew just how hard housework is, they would soon change their tune. Let's see how they would like having to fix breakfast, clear up afterwards, drive the kids to school, do the laundry, clean the house from top to bottom, do the shopping, pick up the kids again, fix their supper and make sure they do their homework. With barely a moment to themselves to put their feet up, have a coffee, watch Oprah on TV or just chill out with their house-husband pals. Can you imagine how hard it is trying to find just a little bit of me-time in the face of these endless demands? It has been scientifically proven that the average house-husband works 596.75 hours every week, just looking after their ungrateful spouses and children. While these selfish wives demand to be pampered, as if bringing home the bacon gives them some kind of superior rights.

And I suppose these chauvinistic wives all expect their poor exhausted house-husbands to service their sexual needs too. Well you can forget that one, lady. Why should any poor man be forced to submit to his wife's unreasonable demands? Not tonight dear, I have a headache. And not any other night either, until you get me a maid and a nanny, and a big fat personal allowance, and a bigger house with a private pool and gym membership and a big car with a chauffeur to drive me there. Then I might think about it, if you are lucky and treat me like a prince.

Yes, what is desperately needed is men's liberation and man-power, to even up the balance. And until that happens, every man has an absolute right to nag his wife to bits. You go, guys!

Civilisation: man's greatest, and most unappreciated, gift to women

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