Juggling life as both Mr. Wallet and Mr. Mom

Submitted by Matt on Fri, 2008-04-25 14:28

Article here. Excerpt:

'Deadbeat dads, ghost dads, Disneyland dads, Santa daddies: The divorce culture is rich in labels, especially ones that reduce men to negative stereotypes.

Some may be warranted, but the trouble with simplistic labels is that they rarely shed light on the complex truth of reality.

What is forgotten is that fathers have their own painful adjustment to divorce that is different than that faced by mothers.'

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From personal experience I can attest that it is hell. I had my children taken away from me, but because I was a good daddy, I was able to see my twin boys once every month, by law, for two hours. Of course my ex was generous, she allowed me to have my sons on the weekends, so she could play. The only problem was that I watched my influence with my boys become less, as she had a live in boyfriend. I got tired of the phone calls asking me for more money, even when I paid my dues on time. She would have the boys standing there, and tell me if I didn't give her more money I didn't love my sons', and by the way, they were standing there waiting to talk to me. I made a decision. I decided to take care of myself. I did what any person would do to protect themselves. Call me a dead beat Dad. Call me anything you like. But all I ask is that you do it to my face. So you can see my eyes when I reply.........

David A. DeLong

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Submitted by David A. DeLong on Fri, 2008-04-25 16:21

I have also been through a really crappy divorce after a 25 year marriage. (My ex- refused to go to counseling after repeated requests. She was a control freak and simply said -- "you go if you want to, I don't have any problems." Interesting theory when your husband is discussing divorce....

Divorce does untold damage to kids.

Thankfully mine were teenagers and so understood that the marriage went bad, but we could still have good relationships.

One thing that divorced men may experience is BETTER relationships with their children following a divorce.

That is because the ex-wife was poisoning his kids with a lot of anti-dad propaganda.

Women will use children as weapons and feel absolutely no guilt about it.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) usually starts during the marriage.

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Submitted by Roy on Fri, 2008-04-25 20:03