"Men need to be deprogrammed in a very fundamental way"

Submitted by Mastodon on Wed, 2014-09-24 07:02

Article here. Excerpt:

'Men have been socialized to view sex as entitled consumers. Women’s bodies are products made for our consumption. One Tulane student blog actually refers to women’s bodies as “burgahs,” sharing this gem of a poem: “Buns golden brown / A carnivores delight / I’ve seen you down town / And I want you tonight.” And no, I’m not going to link to it! Google “tulane burgah shack.” It’s a great example of the widespread cultural foundation for rape culture.

So men need to be deprogrammed in a very fundamental way. That’s important work that I see as a major part of my role as a campus minister. In the meantime, we need to have whole communities full of unashamed “cock-blockers.” I’m not saying that men should not be held responsible for their own behavior. But since too many men refuse to behave responsibly, the bystanders at clubs and parties need to feel empowered to intervene when predatory behavior is occurring that can lead to rape. Tulane is going to be doing some bystander intervention training this year that I hope will be helpful.

I just don’t think sex needs to happen the way that it’s come to be normalized in the world of hookups and one-night flings. If some dude is trying to manipulate an intoxicated stranger into spending the night with him, whether or not he’s actually slipped something into her drink, I think it’s perfectly legitimate to hijack his conversation and sabotage his plans. I’m not trying to take any of the onus off of rapists for what they do. But we have normalized a script for sexual behavior that is very easy for predators to exploit. We need to be more proactive as a community on the prevention side of rape culture. In addition to building a culture where survivors are respected and their rapists are prosecuted, we need to build a culture where communities take responsibility for keeping everyone safe.'

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Comments

1. How can you tell what the woman wants? You just assume that she doesn't want to talk to the dude, even if she's willingly talking to the dude. Isn't it misogynistic to assume that you know what's best for her?

2. What about the women who try to bed drunk men?

*Crickets*

Okay, so drunk men are responsible for their own bad decisions, but drunk women are not. Right. I wonder how long until drunk driving is an offense that can only be charged against men. This all just sounds like some dude's very poorly thought out attempt at skirt chasing.

I hope that one day he tries to intrude on a conversation, and the girl gives him hell for being such a douche.

Typical white knight/gender ideologue doublethink.

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Submitted by xtrnl on Thu, 2014-09-25 15:09

This pastor is apparently a feminist first and a Christian pastor second. He seems unable to grasp the fundamental contradictions between the two.

I also find it ironic that he decries the "patriarchy" yet his recommended solution is that men protect women--which sounds a whole lot like patriarchy.

The real problem is that women don't take responsibility for their own safety. They expect others--men, society at large--to do so. Previous societies have run into the same problem, so these societies took responsibility for women's safety--and realized that restricting women's behavior was the best way to keep them safe. The feminist/sexual revolution was supposed to free women from those restrictions--but now we've run into the same old problem. Going out and picking up a drunk guy often leads to problems for the woman. Promiscuity ups the chances something will go wrong.

To solve this problem, the definition of sexual assault is constantly expanded in an effort to do the impossible, which is to give women complete sexual freedom and perfect protection. (Men traditionally had more sexual freedom than women because society invested little in protecting men or boys from sexual assault.) Society doesn't have the resources not the responsibility to serve as personal bodyguards for everyone. So most concluded the only thing to do was restrict female sexual behavior. This was largely cultural: good girls didn't do certain things. But those standards have been thrown aside because "well-behaved women rarely make history." (What about well-behaved men? Do they make history?)

Even with all this, at my local university, about 8 reports of sexual assault are made each year out of a female population of about 15,000. To me, that's not so bad. But if the only acceptable rate is zero, how do we get there? Probably never, because some reports are false. That aside, no civilized society has ever really reached the magical zero number. The exceptions seem to be primitive societies in which women freely consent to sex; rape is not even a concept in such societies.

The one thing the confused pastor gets right is that sex is a commodity in today's world. Men are expected to pay for it or somehow earn the right to deserve sex with a woman. A man isn't a real man if he can't get laid. Women have created sex as a commodity that only the truly deserving get. Men must follow the rules to get sex--but women don't have to, of course. But whenever there are rules, a few will break them. For example, out of 15,000 drivers, how many break the speed limit? More than 8, I suspect.

So to end rape, we need to follow the example of the primitives--which will never happen. As long as women treat sex as a commodity reserved for the deserving, a few men will break the rules. It's not a sense of entitlement: sex is something men want and a few will break the rules to get it, just as drivers exceed the speed limit.

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Submitted by el cid on Fri, 2014-09-26 16:33