Not Our Jobs: Emotional Responsibility and Sexism

Submitted by Mastodon on Sat, 2013-10-12 22:29

Article here. Excerpt:

'There's a pretty leveling quote of Germaine Greer's: "Women have no idea how much men hate them." It's the kind of quote that not only knocks you ass-backwards but continues to unfurl in front of you, because the volume it speaks is only really matched by the layers in which it's applicable.

It puts to scope the intrinsic nature in which men have pathologically policed nearly, if not every, level of their interaction and communication with women. I am not even talking about violence toward women and the horrifying way this manifests in our daily news cycles because at that level, yes, we get it, you fucking hate us. Otherwise why go to such lengths as to physically wipe us out -- it's loud and clear, buddy. I'm talking about the instances of subtle, psychological manipulation that have the capacity to cause someone to constantly question their mode of thought, feeling, and the way in which this relates to the entire scope of every day life. So, a pretty big thing.
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Long are we told that when things go awry in relationships the default blame shifts to women. Not even on the appalling, actually sociopathic level of victim blaming, but in subtle ways that are easy to miss if you're not hyper aware. And face it when "hyper aware" has become your default it just makes you realize even that is not enough. I had a boyfriend who cheated on me and much later, after the relationship ended and the emotional trash had been taken out, I got into a conversation in which the gist was "women make bad decisions" and relied very heavily on me not being able to foresee that this would happen to me being the framework of that logic.
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Moreover, why is there a nagging, inherent guilt on my part in the back of my head present at the onset of speaking up and the urge to smooth things over, to crack a joke or make light when the reality of it is we are so busy doing all this other shit that we don't have time to be the sole proprietors of our relationships with you.'

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The reason I am posting this is because it's an example of how some people who call themselves feminists think their problem is "patriarchy", men hating them and trying to f*ck with them all the time, etc. No. For those people who think this is what is going on (esp. for people below a certain age), I simply suggest this: it could well be that you simply haven't learned yet how to deal with others in relationships, set boundaries, find out what your own are, and generally have yet to grow into full adulthood as pertains to these things.

I wonder what, in a few years, the author will think of this article she wrote.

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Submitted by Matt on Sun, 2013-10-13 00:00