The Fair Child Support Act

An original essay submitted by a reader:

The Fair Child Support Act

Due to the ongoing discrepancies in county/state child support laws taking place across the United States, and the inability to bring fairness to the parents (which, are often primarily fathers) ordered to pay support thru the system, there is a great need for several changes to be implemented. Agree or not, the often biased decisions taking place throughout this system continue to be a major factor in the breakdown of the father-mother-child(ren) relationship. Being someone who was a former teen mother myself at one point, I offer a view many females and the child support system fails to consider. Too often, courts almost always side with a mother when the issue of support arises regardless of mitigating factors due to the fact no one speaks up for fathers' rights.

One major area for addressing unfair practices in child support cases is the immediate need to impose changes to laws that make the death of a child whom support is being paid a reason to eliminate the ongoing order. Nothing in life is as final as death and no parent should be expected to continue to pay past or ongoing support to a mother (or custodial parent) for a child who is not even alive anymore to benefit from it. This practice accounts to nothing more than being one of the most cruel and unjust forms of punishment designed by county/state/federal governments throughout America today. It is tragic enough that the parent of a deceased child will have to endure a lifetime of grief over the loss of their child, but to be forced by law to continue to pay a support order for that child is immoral and beyond reproach.

Another issue involving child support that is in need of change is that a DNA test of both parents and the child should be MANDATORY in every case to rule out any doubt of parentage towards the child(ren). Once positive DNA results are confirmed there should be decisions set forth that would be equally-fair to BOTH parents. If it is determined (through DNA) the child is the alleged father's, the agreements should be that no one is over- burdened so much that they cannot live on their own paycheck (if they are employed). If the paying parent has another child(ren)/family, the situation upon the paying parent should not be made to feel compounded. Having a child is a 50/50 situation. In addition, if a child dies and the parent receiving/awarded support has the child cremated before a DNA test was ever conducted this should be immediate grounds to end a child support order and forfeit any arrears or ongoing support payments.

If a child has not, or is not, living with either of the parents and instead someone else (i.e., grandparent(s), uncle, aunt, older sibling or friend(s), and this guardian takes on the responsibility of allowing the child to live with them, then the biological parents have no right to challenge each other for child support because the biological parent(s) turned over their responsibility to others. Why should mothers who gave birth to a child(ren), yet practically pushed their responsibility off on their parent(s), other relative or friend be permitted to collect child support payments for a child they did not raise?

Lastly, a father who has attempted to bring closure to his child support situation and move forward with his life by offering to pay a one-time cash lump sum settlement to the mother(s) of his child(ren), but is dealing with a mother(s) who refuses to cooperate and accept it (in hopes of holding out for a greater amount) should be able to have the county/state child support system encourage or mandate her to accept it. Most fathers are not being informed by child support offices that they can seek for the mother(s) of their child to sign an "Agreed Entry and a Stipulated Order," which waives any/all arrears and future payments. This critical stipulation would help countless child support paying fathers to get their lives back on track instead of forcing them into a life of poverty; unnecessary job losses due to bad credit reports and opportunity-crushing letters/phone calls to their employers by child support offices; driver's license suspensions; questionable "debtors jail or prison terms;" convictions for nonsupport, and other unnecessary hindrances. Although I was blessed to be raised in a household that included a wonderful supportive father, as a young mother I was taught properly by my own mother and grandmother not to depend upon a man for anything. I understood the benefits in sacrificing in order to help provide for my daughter instead of pressing her father for child support. The relationship between a father-mother-child is priceless. No amount of expected money is worth jeopardizing that by causing decades of hardship to a child's first image of a man.