For men, “leaning out” just isn’t an option

Article here. Excerpt:

While Sheryl Sandberg and the pro-women movement encourage women to “lean in,” what’s never discussed is the relentless pressure men feel to not “lean out.”

I came across an article recently that talked about the damaging effects men face from a lifetime of being told to “Be a man. Stop being such a fag.” and “Grow a pair” that made me think about how we assume there’s no downside to the expectations of leadership. In order to be considered masculine, as all “real” men are supposed to be, we’re expected to be the alpha dog, to take charge, and, when necessary, to fight. For men with families, there’s an expectation to be the breadwinner, and they live with the pressure of being the last, and sometimes the only, line of defense between their children sleeping in a warm bed or sleeping in the streets. If the cupboards are bare, and the rent isn’t paid, it is ultimately their responsibility.

Just as it’s difficult for men to understand the challenges women face, I don’t expect most of the women reading this to fully understand the pressures of being a man. It’s one of those seemingly slight societal differences that can’t really be explained and yet feels enormous to the person suffering through it. In fact, many men don’t really grasp the extent of the stress they feel since they’ve never known anything else. ...'