NYT "mansplains" the parenting gap

Submitted by Matt on Sat, 2013-02-09 02:49

Article here. Excerpt:

'KJ Dell’Antonia, lead writer for the New York Times’ Motherlode, wants to know why moms are so much more likely than dads to know all the nitty-gritty details of their children’s lives.

And Bruce Feiler, another Times scribe, has the answer: It’s because mean mommies won’t relinquish control to their poor husbands! “The most significant predictor of dad involvement is the mom’s willingness to give up control and allow the father to do things a slightly different way,” Feiler writes.
...
Are we really going to blame so-called mean moms for the gender gap at home? To say nothing of a culture that presents sharing housework as emasculating (and, apparently, a boner-killer!) and asks CEOs and presidential hopefulsif it’s “responsible” to take on demanding, full-time work so soon after having a child? And really, Bruce Feiler? You’re comfortable giving men a pass on parenting because “When a mother criticizes her partner’s child-care efforts, it causes him to lose confidence and withdraw?” That’s the best you’ve got?'

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Comments

There are so many reasons not to have kids, esp. if you're a male.  Maternal gatekeeping is just one of them.  People who deny it happens and then blame the fathers are another very good reason.  And finally, a 50+% divorce rate with the mom getting the kids over 90% of the time is the last nail in the coffin.  Children: The most expensive if not heart-breaking hobby a man can have.  May I suggest something a little less stressful instead-- like ordnance disposal, perhaps...

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Submitted by Matt on Sat, 2013-02-09 02:52

Wow. I clicked on the OP which linked to the original back-and-forth columns in the NY Times, which started this all (about a working wife leaving on a business trip and husband calls for clarification about kid's activity schedule - she uses this situation to "prove" she is superior). I have no idea why women (usually working mothers and mothers heavily influenced by feminism) are so defensive and keep trying to convince themselves they can "have it all" or that they "do more" than their husbands.

Biologically, men and women are better at different things, which influences how much they care about certain tasks. Women seem to care more about mundane tasks and socialization. Which is probably why she is making a big deal about this in the first place. I bet her husband hasn't even thought about the phone call, yet she has made a fucking blog about it!

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Submitted by Kris on Sat, 2013-02-09 03:59