Why Feminists Should Support the Return of Chivalry

Submitted by Mastodon on Sat, 2012-12-22 21:10

Article here. Excerpt:

'Chivalry and feminism appear to be natural enemies: If women want to be treated as equals they can’t also want men to open doors for them or always pick up the check. Carrying a woman’s bag can be taken as implying that she’s too weak to do it herself.
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Even when it comes from a positive place of wanting to help, the assumption that a woman always needs a man to step in and rescue her is exactly how chivalry came to be referred to as “benevolent sexism.” Chivalrous men may mean well, but it’s easy to see a disconnect between social rules about treating women with delicate respect and the push toward equality.
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I’m not entirely convinced that a return to chivalry wouldn’t open the door to reinforced ideas of women as weak, but Smith’s proposal is worth considering.'

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Comments

Feminists may have decried it in the '70s but any who may have gone on dates with men still by and large expected their dates to pay for it. And open doors for them, etc. In fact self-identified as feminists or not, I haven't observed any significant general change in gender-role expectations in the context of male-female romantic relationships from women lo these past 40 years. I.e., for the most part nothing has changed. Men are still expected by women and other men to pay for women, and be deferential toward them to boot.

A man who isn't "chivalrous" is more appropriately described as a man who isn't fawning in general to women. The author of The Atlantic article wants to associate in the mind of the reader a "lack" of chivalrous behavior or attitudes from a man with a man ready to use violence against women, including the dreaded "R" word. The author of this article seems to go along with that. It's the same old two-options-only split men have been getting placed into for centuries: You're either a fawning servant of women or a sexually predatory brute just waiting for the soonest opportunity to rape and kill women. So what's it gonna be, guy?

The key to not falling victim to this kind of mind-f*ck and manipulation is to refuse to be placed in such a position, if only in your own mind.

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Submitted by Matt on Sat, 2012-12-22 23:16

Link appears broken.

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Submitted by Kratch on Sun, 2012-12-23 20:52

Thanks for mentioning it.

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Submitted by Matt on Mon, 2012-12-24 00:10