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The Mommy Wars are About Daddy Too
Submitted by anthony on Tue, 2012-04-24 18:01
Article here. Excerpt:
'I don't know about you, but everywhere I go I run into men who don't feel like they have a real place in the world, thanks to the so-called "man-cession." Their eyes are hollow; they struggle for identity. They are all like the guys in Peter Gabriel's searing song, "Don't Give Up," about a man "whose dreams have all deserted," who struggles for work, for identity and a reason to go on living.
...
Today in the U.S., the tables have pretty much turned. Like fish without bicyles, women are enjoying more opportunities than ever, and they don't need men to realize their dreams of college and careers. They are putting off marriage and childbearing. They now enjoy a majority in colleges and graduate schools. They are also a majority in American workplaces, though they still generally earn less than men in comparable jobs.
Meanwhile, millions of smart, hardworking men, like all those women before them, feel threatened, their ambitions "disrupted" by technology and displaced by outsourcing. Today, fewer men than women are earning college degrees. One (disputed) study has even asserted that men will actually become extinct one day as the Y chromosome runs out. My own husband — a hard-working, entrepreneurial, visionary videographer disrupted by digital technology — is working to reinvent himself as community activist. (Hey, at least he is not sitting at home in front of the television with a six-pack.) And he is no wimp, but he is aching to re-find his place as a meaningful person in the world.
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If I were the CEO of my dreams, I would make sure that women had an equal seat in the boardroom and the executive committee; but I would also work to ensure that all the men and women in my company had the chance to work without killing themselves. I'd offer ample opportunities for flex-time and job-sharing. I'd try hard to see that everyone who worked for me had a chance to rise, to feel important, and, critically, to achieve some semblance of balance between their family and office lives. And if I overheard sniping, I'd nip it in the bud.'
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Comments
I think the author has good
I think the author has good intentions, but I cannot agree with alot of her statements. I don't believe in the "war on woman" and I do not believe in quotas (two topics she brings up). She also mentions some woman feel no choice but to have to stay at home and be housewives. I have never seen any evidence of that! If anything women are told they can "have it all" and they have every door open to them.
What we need is balance. Men and women need to value, need, and want each other equally. Right now the pendulum has swung so far in favor of women. Which is really strange since under natural circumstances, women need men for individual survival far more then men need women. The only thing men truly need women for is for reproduction (survival of the species, but not for individual survival).
We need to identify what artificial influences are making it so women no longer value, need and want men (laws and policies favoring women, unlimited access to abortion, federal handouts that encourage single parenthood, artificial conception, de-valuing of fatherhood, glamorizing casual sex for women, etc).
Strong families make strong societies. The only way families will be created is if both men and women benefit equally from forming family unions (typically called "marriage" but I could care less if the unions is sanctioned by the government or not).
PS
It's as if the author identifies the problem: "men's identity crisis" but is unwilling to give up any female privilege or place any blame on the practices that favor women. She still sees women as victims, but just extends a nod to men and fathers. She thinks like a liberal. She feels victimized, wants government to pay, likes quotas in the workplace, and implies she would be a 'good' CEO if she ever ran a business (implying that real business owners are 'bad' and have no sense of family values).