"No One Can Change Men but Men"

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 2010-11-15 20:58

Letter here. Excerpt:

'...Men are stereotyped as walking erections who would "f--k mud." Even psychology's "theory du jour," evolutionary psychology/psychobiological theory" (Buss, et al.) puts men in the position of being obliged to spread their DNA as far and as widely as possible. Middle-aged men owe it to the species to reproduce with 22-year-old females of the requisite waist-to-hip ratio – rape as a "reproductive strategy," etc. We assume that male humans are sexual predators. ...Here's the problem: I don't see men doing a whole lot to undo those stereotypes. As I say to my students every semester: No one can change these stereotypes except men. And not enough of them are stepping up. If enough good men become tired of the stereotypes about their gender, they will fight to change them – no doubt being accused of being pussies all the way. ...'

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Comments

This article is just another version of the old refrain: "if it weren't true, then why do so many people hold negative opinions of men?" Not surprisingly, this article absolves women from any blame. It's all up to men - if men want to be looked at differently, then they need to change their behavior for the better. Of course if there is anything positive to be said, for instance about the fact that a larger conversation about the role of men is starting to catch on in the public forum, then that development must, of course, be the result of women doing something right.

Men in general don't need to be reformed, as this article suggests. It is the widely held societal impression of men that needs to be reformed. Men will step into the opportunities that are presented to them.

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Submitted by redwoodwriter on Tue, 2010-11-16 03:45

As follows:

"When in the 1960s civil rights activists began marching, they said two things were needed for success: the oppressed rising up and demanding justice and the oppressor realizing they deserved it. Setting aside the oppressed/oppressor baggage part of the analogy, that is what is needed here also. Indeed, men need to start standing up to misandry and fear-mongering re their sex-stereotypes, but women need to realize they have ingested a lot of propaganda and fear fed to them by the mass-media and one another. They need to realize that the vast majority of men they know are decent men, just as men know the vast majority of women are decent women not likely to do bad things to them.

I could go into the opposite problem society has, known as nymphotropism, which in part is the propensity for people to refuse to acknowledge that even a small percentage of women do bad (at times, very bad) things and are as capable as any given man in terms of doing dishonorable, nasty, devious, or otherwise despicable things. But I think I have made my main point here: Yes, men need to be more active in debunking anti-male myths, but women need to be ready to accept that message and truly internalize it."

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Submitted by Matt on Tue, 2010-11-16 04:22