The New Art of Alimony

This is just another nail in the coffin of marriage. It is astounding to me that there are still men out there who are getting married. Are these guys crazy? Just badly informed? Maybe they're illiterate? Sometimes I think that people won't change unless the way they've been doing things gets really painful. Well this new type of alimony is REALLY painful. The thought of either one of my ex-wives coming back to me and saying that I owe them some more alimony is a nightmare... maybe this will bring more men into the men's rights movement?

"It is astounding to me that there are still men out there who are getting married." Marriage is a BIG LIE. There are very few young men out there who really know what marriage is. Civil marriage is a welfare system. It's nothing more than that. This case shows this very clearly. When you go down to the courthouse and sign up for marriage you're really just signing up to take care of your woman - for LIFE apparently. No matter what. All the constructs of marriage - community property, alimony, QDROs, etc. were designed and implemented for one reason - the welfare of women. Marriage is welfare for women and slavery for men.

"... maybe this will bring more men into the men's rights movement?" Here's the problem. If my wife new I was on this website she would divorce me and I'd lose pretty much everything. Most, if not all, married men are simply in no position to be public about their disdain for marriage. All I feel I can really do is try to inform people about what marriage is anonymously through this and other websites. I must stay underground. This fact alone is a huge tipoff that there's REALLY something wrong with marriage.

I can only hope this type of news is a nail in the coffin of marriage. It should be abolished as soon as possible.

If it wasn't his ox getting gord but some other mans, Mr. Taylor like most men of his generation would say it was the man's duty and responsibility to step up to the plate (god! I hate that tacky phrase!) and support his ex wife if not at the level of financial comfort she was accustomed to then at least as much as he could afford even though she had been out of his life for decades!

It is mainly the stupidity of men like Mr. Taylor that these misandric and destructive laws are still on the books! MEN JUST WILL NOT FIGHT BACK!

PS: Notice Mr. Taylor got married again and nothing was printed by the present Ms. Taylor. The old adage: Once burned; twice shy, simply doesn't apply to divorced men and second marriages.

To all those men who think it's so incredibly dangerous to speak out when it comes to men's issues -- I want to say that it's really not so dangerous. I have a loving girlfriend, and she knows I am a men's rights activist, and she has known for years. I have some really great talks with her, about men and women, including a talk about the article referenced above. This never had her think that she didn't want to be with me. To the contrary, my discussions help emancipate her from her own gender roles and societal conditioning. So I want to encourage Champ1 and all you other guys that are just lurking, maybe occasionally posting something on line, but never daring to speak up in a social situation, never daring to stand up to a man-hating feminist. To the extent that you believe you'll lose everything if you speak up in defense of your rights - you are already a slave. If you really get this, then what really do you have to lose? Also to these same guys -- please note that this article appeared in The Wall Street Journal -- this conversation is public and widespread now... you don't need to hide mens rights magazines (like NCFM Transitions) in a drawer like it's porno or something.

You're in a very different situation than me. There are many, many women who understand men's rights issues and sympathize. Many southerners worked in the abolitionist movement to free the African slaves too. But the benefits of first-class citizenship for women like my wife are too irresistible to give up. I'm a slave. But trust me - my wife cannot find out what I think of marriage, etc. Better to be a slave in my house with my daughter and money close-at-hand than in a small apartment with a handful of days with my daughter and no money. African slaves faced a similar choice. To speak out would have meant 100 lashes with the whip. Better to muddle along and poke the bear when he's not looking.

In 2009, in America, is this what it often means to be a married man? To be forever responsible for one's wife (divorced or not), to be groveling, to be chivalrous, to be dominated by one's wife, and to be afraid to tell the truth? Does it really mean to be a slave, to be utterly at the beck and call of a woman? Does it mean no chance of self-respect that comes from living one's truth, but just selling out to the expediency of going along? Shit, that sounds terrible...

There are no good choices for many married men. That is the truth. And, although attitudes are changing, the cycle of men being trapped in marriage will continue. There was noone there telling me what marriage really was. And I wasn't smart enough to figure out why my wife's Dad was hanging out at the bar every night getting loaded. Had I been married to my m-i-l I would've been loaded every day too. I can't stress enough how important the fear of financial armegeddon is on older men who might otherwise let their sons and other young men in on the big lie of marriage. If you're 50 or 60 years old and you hate your job and you want to retire someday at some comfort level you just can't afford to rock the boat. Had the abolishinists not pushed to free the African slaves they might still be slaves today. Slaves were not going to openly push for their own freedom. The risks were too high. It will take the work of single men and fair-minded women to either reform or abolish (this is my choice - the whole idea of lifetime coupling is simply unnatural and absurd and government intrusion on personal relationships is evil) civil marriage.

Married men trapped in a terrible situation, like Champ1 -- rise up and free yourself from the slavery of married life! If you're waiting for other people to change the laws before you make your move, you may be waiting a long time... You may be dead before anything substantial changes in your favor. Why would you waste your life in a horrible situation, why would you hang out with a woman you don't want to be with? What? You're doing it for the money? Did I hear that right? Your life, and living it in freedom and truth, that is worth a whole lot more than money... and I don't care how much money you're talking about.

Thanks for the thoughts but when you say I'm doing it "for the money" it really minimizes what that really means. You don't care how much money is involved? Really? I can't really base a decision on some platitudes about some abstract concept of freedom and truth. I need to actually live in the real world with any decision I make.

Maybe you love your job/career. I don't. I have no interest in working for the rest of my life trying to keep her lifestyle up to what she's used to and then try to make a separate life for myself. Claiming I'd be "free" with little to no money and paying lifetime alimony probably and jacked up child support is a real stretch. I know a couple of these guys and "free" is not a word I'd use to describe them. I also get to parent my daughter for quite a while longer, a job that I truly enjoy. What your calling freedom and truth just doesn't look that great to me.

I understand this might be hard to grasp. I geuss you really have to be in the middle of this to fully grasp it. Make no mistake asset distribution, alimony, child support, even discriminatory child custody laws were intentionally made to be punitive towards men. The same kind of punitive as when someone breaks the law and goes to prison and/or pays a fine. Marriage is supposed to be hard to get out of for the man. The whole point of modern marriage is for men to take care of women so they're not left with any type of uncomfortable life. (the fact that some men are now the beneficiaries of marriage was never imagined by the originators of modern civil marriage)