Nevada woman arrested in death of newborn son

I have been wanting to comment on this since it seems so familiar to my situation (although I would never think of killing a newborn).

I come from a very conservative family when it comes to sex and pregnancy.

I can understand this girl's feelings of desperation.

My father had always told us that we should NEVER inform him that we are pregnant outside of marriage because he would NEVER accept it because he felt it was a reflection of his parenting and it would be an extreme embarrassment to him.

For a girl, you not only have to inform your parents, but you have the realization that the news is going to travel - to your neighbors, your childhood friends, teachers, aunts, uncles, etc. The humiliation can be overwhelming. By the fourth month you pretty much have informed EVERYONE just by walking into a room. A guy doesn't really have to deal with EVERYONE knowing what he's been up to in the bedroom.

I met the realization that I was pregnant with mixed feelings. I was excited and felt the need to nurture right away (kicked all my bad habits), but like this girl I was scared to death about what my consequences would be from my family.

A lot of ideas flashed thru my mind. I thought about a secret abortion (that would take care of everything, and if nobody knew (including the baby's father) my secret could never get out. I also thought about hiding the pregnancy. My thought about whom to hide it from changed frequently. I thought about hiding it from the baby's father (as I didn't think he could handle my plans for adoption. and I could just ask my parents to send me out of the country), I thought about hiding it from my parents (to avoid their disappointment- and I could live at my boyfriends house which is in another state), or I could have informed both the father and my parents and hid it from everyone else (to avoid the explanation of adoption, embarrassment, etc).

But these were all just thoughts, I never acted on any of them. I also ended up keeping my baby (as my boyfriend would not allow adoption, just as I suspected)

Coming from a religious background, it has always been my suspicion that a lot of pro-life-anti-abortion-religious girls get secret abortions just because they cannot face the humiliation of announcing a pregnancy. And if they equate abortion with murder it must be so hard for them to live with what they have done.

Anyway, even though I understand this girls feelings, I do not understand her actions. She had so many other options. Adoptions are so easy now a days, I also assume most areas have 'safe haven' laws.

One thing that really made a difference for me is that my baby's father was very supportive of the pregnancy and we could afford a child. It also made it easier for me to handle my family's reaction as I had a place to go when my father forbid me from being at his house even during the holidays.

The article does not mention anything about the baby's father. If he was not supportive of the pregnancy it could have added to her frustration. -but that's no excuse for what she did.

I am deeply saddened by the actions she decided to take. The poor defensless child. Sometimes I wish I could counsel girls in these situations before the birth.

(PS- I got interrupted a MILLION times while I was typing this. I hope my writing is coherent)

Oh, and if telling your parents about one unplanned-unwed pregnancy is hard. Try telling them about the second. I thought my parents were going to drop dead.