George Jonas: When men are passé, who covers the support payments?

Article here. Excerpt:

'Large, hairy, smelly --and obsolete

British scientists reported this week that they’re close to creating artificial sperm. Needless to say, the news is getting everyone very excited. If true, it will be possible to do away completely with that vestigial gender — I hesitate to call it “sex” — known as “men.”

Not a day too soon, I say. Large, hairy creatures, with a knack for tracking dirt into the house, men tend to strut, slouch, or snore, depending on whether they’re trying to walk, dine, or attend a concert. They prance like princes, weave in and out of traffic, then congeal into lumps when they get home. On weekends they pull themselves together long enough to watch the ballgame on TV or sneak out of the house for a game of golf. Mostly they’re underfoot in the kitchen, where they scratch, munch, hitch up their pants, and fail to notice important things, such as people’s new hairdos. They scrounge for bottles of beer to wash down enormous quantities of greasy food they keep demanding in booming voices. Calling them a nuisance is an understatement.
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The fact is, other than a procreative function, men have been redundant for some time. Originally kept for lifting heavy objects, they initiated their own obsolescence by inventing the hoist. An indolent and cowardly lot, men always tried to avoid exerting energy or approaching prey animals or intruders too closely, so they kept tinkering with sticks and stones, fashioning them into tools and weapons. The wages of such laziness and timidity were not long in coming. The easier men made it for themselves to fetch, pitch and catch, the less people needed them for fetching, pitching and catching. Every time they came up with a danger- or labour-saving device — the wheel, the projectile, the shield — it diminished their reason for being.
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When I said as much to a family court judge this week, she looked skeptical. “Very cute, but when embryonic stem cells differentiate into sperm,” she said, “whom do we sue for paternity? The embryo? For this to fly, your British researchers need to develop an additional line of stem cells that differentiate into child support and alimony.”'