Scotland Sunday Herald: 'Chivalry: Who needs it?'

Submitted by anthony on Sun, 2009-01-11 09:27

Article here. Excerpt:

'I could go on, but my question here is relatively simple: does chivalry still exist? And if so, what does it actually look like? Are there still rules on pulling chairs out, opening doors, laying cloaks down in puddles, paying for lunch, avenging slurs, and escorting ladies home? Rules that won't earn the well-meaning man a well-aimed elbow in the solar plexus.
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Chivalry, as King understands it, is "a nice set of rules for men and women in society that create a kind of harmony". Having a chair pulled out for her is not demeaning, sleazy or patronising, providing the person doing the pulling is not demeaning, sleazy or patronising. "Men and women do fall into certain gender roles," she says. "I don't see a man opening a door for a woman as looking down his nose at her or thinking he's better. There should be equality when it comes to most things, but I don't see chivalry as the opposite of equality."
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TYPICALLY, our hero will take a bullet in the thigh without a murmur, but then whimper like a baby when the femme fatale gently dabs his wounds with a damp cloth. He is primed to walk girls home in heavy hail, pay for things he can't afford, and get into brawls for a woman's honour, or his own (especially while waiting for a taxi). Certain behaviours have morphed and others have been diluted. The crusades and voyages on which old-school knights cut their teeth might these days translate to a trip to the bar for an alcopop, but only if the woman in question is deemed worthy.'

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Comments

As the comedian Dave Chappelle put it, "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it"

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Submitted by heath1 on Tue, 2009-01-13 05:30

...I recently had some girl get all pissy with me for opening the door for her (as I do for anyone with an armload of bags).

I'll tell you, she sure looked liberated chasing the contents of the bags that dropped when I closed the door in her face and told her to go fuck herself through the glass.

Chivalry is utterly and completely dead. Women killed it. They can open their own goddamn doors.

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Submitted by RandomMan on Tue, 2009-01-13 05:34

Not a bad article, apart from it alluding to the fiction that is the wage gap. I also like how it somewhat implied that chivalry should be a two way street. That's how I see it. I try to be nice to everyone, regardless of gender. However, I will not really go out of my way for someone unless it's a woman who is really worthwhile, and one who has shown me in one way or form that she's not the traditional female-entitlement type.

Like, take this one girl, Alicia, for instance. She's the one I'm currently trying to get date with. I invited her to my sister's birthday party, where SHE bought ME a drink. The way she just inverted that double standard drove me crazy in a good way. It was also a great excuse for me to ask her to a movie. To say: "I'd like to thank you for that shot you bought me..."

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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Submitted by xtrnl on Wed, 2009-01-14 18:05

Randoman: We don't want chivalry anyway. Chivalry is based on the concept that men have to be extra nice and giving to women, and women don't have to be the other way round.

I don't care who killed it, but i'm glad they did.

X-trnl: Being nice to someone you like (male or female) is a whole different story, and i quite like your little annecdote :)

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Submitted by han090 on Wed, 2009-01-14 21:03

Thank you, han. I totally agree. I think it's actually a genderless issue.

I think that people should just generally try to be kind to others and try to surround themselves with nice people; the type that believe in reciprocation for kind deeds.

If you can find friends like that, or better yet, a woman like that, you'll have it made. They do exist; they're just hard to find. I'm lucky to have found some good friends myself.

I'm gonna try to seal the deal for that date with Alicia tomorrow.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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Submitted by xtrnl on Thu, 2009-01-15 05:10