South Africa: White male suicides on the rise

Trader shoots himself at Brazil financial exchange

I think we're going into a very bad place here perhaps not just in the western world but the entire world when considering how far-reaching this downturn we are headed into is. It will be a long, deep decline, and it'll be world-wide. It'll have the same feeling that WWI and II aroused - no one seemed to escape its effects and in this world-wide depression we are headed into, the same feeling will be there.

The female psyche is either born, or trained to, I don't care which you believe, to see itself as having a different overall purpose in the grand scheme of things than does the male, either by design or socialization. Overall while women can and do provide for their kids and themselves, they are not trained to see themselves as being valuable *because* of that role. They are trained or born to see themselves as valuable for different reasons, but to say to a woman you think she is bad at her job, while upsetting, usually does not have the same impact as when the competency of a man is questioned. If it is, and by an authoritative source, it is devastating to the average man, not just in the west, but all over the world. If a high Tibetean lama tells a barefoot monk he sucks at meditating and whatnot, that will hurt. Of if a tribal chief tells a barefoot aboriginal tribesman in Australia he sucks at hunting- that'll really hurt. Now tell a woman she sucks at whatever she is doing and she'll tell you to buzz off, that you're rude, or maybe she'll sue you for harassment, who knows. But she won't take it in the way men do (on average, anyway-- there's always exceptions folks, but I am talking about trends here). If a man is sacked even through no fault of his own, he will, 99% of the time, see it as a commentary on his competency, usefulness, and of course, manhood - his status as a man in society, or a man among men. That is devastating to men who have pinned their self-images on their usefulness to others. And the more I observe people, the more I can see this is true: that men are very likely to value themselves more as a means to an end rather than as ends unto themselves. This may make for a very productive society, but it leaves men vulnerable to the kind of things happening nowadays. Very vulnerable. And, it dehumanizes men as people.

Men as a class, we have work to do on and with ourselves. We need to actively confront this whole "I am valuable and worthy because I can do xyz." and replace it with just "I am valuable and worthy." Before I get flamed for trying to resurrect the 70s and "I'm OK, you're OK," let me just say that I believe everyone needs to, if they are able, work and be productive, and as much as they can for as long as they can, earn their own keep. Obviously there are people who cannot due to infirmity, advanced age, mental problems, etc., and these people should be looked after, of course. But if one can work and contribute and earn their keep, they should. BUT-- is it wise for anyone to stake his (or her) self-image on what they can DO? After all, we will all lose our abilities one day, as we age, for sure. Then what? You no longer value your own life?

Bad strategy. Like anything else, you need to approach tasks with a strategy to get things done. Think if you must of life as a "task"-- a big one, perhaps, one that can be hard to put into context, I know, but one nonetheless. What is your strategy for getting though it? What do you do or will you do when times get tough, and they always will-- that's part of the life deal. So will you get drunk and be self-destructive, or do something else? Better to think about this kind of thing before it becomes necessary to do so. Amazing, most people put more planning into their vacations than they do their retirements, and then more planning into their retirements than to the simple question "How am I going to navigate the River of Life? Just what do I want to be while I am here, and if I can't become that, or do whatever I want to do, what would I do instead?" People have backup vacation plans. They have backup investment plans. Many do not have backup life plans. Amazing, really.

So I will end by urging all who read this, and I don't care if you're an MRA-site-trolling feminist looking for some good dirt on us bad-awful-MRA guys, or if you're a faithful MANN regular, to think hard about what Plans B through D for the next 5 years will look like. But decide now that you won't succumb to misery or despair simply because you have a large amt. of debt due to badly-timed investments, or because there is pressure on your marriage or life because of money issues, or whatever. Decide what's important to you, talk to your loved ones, be sure they and you know that you'll all get through whatever is happening, and if you feel you are alone in this, then reach out and talk to others. Post on Craigslist. Post here on MANN if you need to, in some comment thread. Just make sure you don't do what this poor fellow in Brazil did, and don't take the example of the former business exec. in S. Africa discussed in the main article. He got no solace from pills and booze and neither does anyone else.

So even as things start going to heck in a hand-basket... stand strong! If, for no other reason, than someone else, even a total stranger, needs your example.

good perspective Matt - this kinda stuff always hits home but often not sure where to turn. And then, it always goes to what we knew deep down inside long ago: each of us is on our own in a cruel dirty world. It's easy to loose the will to live with so much looking like its stacked against us.

Decades of overt laws against us, sneaky interpretations of existing law and the endless nuanced input into every facet of life by a whole generation of brainwashed 'feminists' would make any man that values fairness and compassion loose hope.

The concept of virtues was invented by men and then the good and the bad were debated and analyzed by men over centuries. Nothing comparible happened amongst women. A girl grows up believing in entitlements. It's not her fault, but she's human and chances are she'll deal with it in the easiest way.

Suggesting the ideas of commitment, restraint and responsibility has now become a reason to be mocked - it's going to take a lot for an individual to find a reason to be part of society.