"Inside the Mind of the Boy Dating Your Daughter"

Submitted by arindamp on Fri, 2008-11-07 16:52

Article here. An amazing report. Excerpt:

'The stereotype of the 16-year-old boy is that he has sex on the brain. But a fascinating new report suggests that boys are motivated more by love and a desire to form real relationships with the girls they date.

The report, published in this month’s Journal of Adolescence, paints a far different picture of teen boys than the stereotype of testosterone-fueled youth. Psychology researchers from the State University of New York at Oswego surveyed 105 10th-grade boys whose average age was about 16. The boys, most of whom said they were heterosexual, were given surveys asking them to select various reasons why they asked girls out, dated and pursued physical relationships. Most of the boys had dating experience, and about 40 percent were sexually active.'

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Comments

I remember my first serious adolescent crush at around that age (I was 15). I can't recall thinking about having sex with her much at all, despite my raging hormones, and they were on all 6 cylinders, I can assure you. I was just very deeply "in crush" with her. Paradoxical, isn't it? She was 5 years older than me and wholly unattainable, though we were friends. Of course in a year or so I got over her, my family relocating helping that along, but I still recall the depth and intensity of my feelings for her. The subjective impact of this phenomenon, like tasting some new exotic food for the first time, of course makes it seem all the more intense; subsequent encounters with such feelings have tended to be more and more subdued as the years have crept on [or maybe it's just "T" levels, who knows? :)]. But I don't recall doing much fantasizing about her sexually, though. It was all very "romantic" kind of thinking, lots of "just being together" stuff.

Of course just a few years later I was a jaded, disillusioned, bitter young man, whose heart became steely cold and unyielding. Only after I was visited thricely by ghosts one Christmas eve night did I finally get a spot in a Charles Dickens story. :)

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Submitted by Matt on Sat, 2008-11-08 02:05

I used to date girls to form genuine relationships and thought I was in love, but after years of them playing games I realized that most were not "nurturing and caring", in fact the ones I dated were selfish, and each had a poor me story. I think most guys hearts are broken when girls are in there late teens to mid twenties because girls know guys crave there youth and beauty, then alot of women start the ok I wanna have a baby now stage and complain there are no good guys............

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Submitted by Michael on Sat, 2008-11-08 13:27

I agree to an extent.

My theory has always been that the assholes who didn't care about the girl,and only wanted sex, were usually the most confident (because, since their feelings were purely physical, they didn't have to fear heartbreak), so they got way more women than (not to mention the fact that women like "bad boys" who hurt them...for some stupid reason).

Then, those same women became bitter, and defensive (ie feminist! ;) ), and hurt all of the nice guys who did manage to work up the courage to ask a girl out.

So then those men became bitter and defensive, and there's almost no good men or good women left.

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Submitted by han090 on Sat, 2008-11-08 21:07