Essay: The Wrong in Women's Rights

The Wrong in Women’s Rights
April 7, 2007
by E. Abdiel

Abortion. A cornerstone in the woman’s movement. It is a cornerstone that claims it is a woman’s sole right to decide the outcome of the unborn child inside her. Yet when its assertions are applied consistently to their end, it contradicts premises used to assign responsibility to men to financially support children they did not intend to have.

Feminist ideology proclaims that what a woman does with her body has nothing to do with government policy, the judgments and dictates of men or conventional morality. She does what she wants with her body and her decisions are her own. Yet it’s simple common sense to understand that if it is only her body and only her decision what she does with it (to abort or not abort), then congruently it is only her duty to be responsible for a decision that only she makes (child rearing). Feminist dogma stands in blatant disregard to a simple rule of natural law that no one disputes in any other situation that occurs in our lives. And that is, that there is an exact and direct correlation to the amount of authority we have in situations, to the amount of responsibility accessed to us for the decisions we make. It’s completely illogical to say it’s 100% my decisions to do as I wish with my body (premarital sex) but I’m only 50% responsible for the outcome of my decision to engage in sexual activity (pregnancy). And congruently it’s completely illogical to say it’s 100% my decision to make because it’s my body (to abort or not abort) but I’m only 50% responsible for the outcome of that decision (child rearing). If you are 100% in control of your body, then it’s 100% your decision to involve yourself in the risks associated with having premarital sex. And if it’s 100% your decision to keep rather than abort an unborn child, then it’s 100% your responsibility to raise and support that child after birth. Not 90 percent, not 75 percent and not 50/50 but rather a full 100 percent.

There is a ongoing trend in most feminist ideology that no one questions because it either suits there selfish need or because there is fear of societal retaliation. And that is on nearly every feminist issue, women get to have it both ways. To them, women should always receive the full benefits of a position they take but somehow never need to take the full responsibility that goes along with it. It’s always partly or fully someone else’s fault and responsibility (almost always a man’s) when they use the rights they claim they deserve inappropriately and they have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Even if women did take the position that it is 100% their right to decide the fate of the unborn and responsibility to provide support for the child after birth, I’d still say they were wrong. Because both science and God confirm that what is inside her is not a lifeless mass of cells but a human life. Life imparted by the sperm of a man. And if the sperm of a male is the life giving factor, why aren’t his rights, from what is biologically half his, being represented? Why is a child only half his after a woman makes a decision that requires a man to financially support the child for at least 18 years? In case you missed the gravity of that question and a central argument against this injustice, I will reiterate it. Why is a child only half his after a woman makes a decision that requires a man to financially support the child for at least 18 years? In legal circles and Constitutional terms that is what they call a classic case of “being denied equal protection under the law”. And although the Supreme Court has consistently acknowledged this infringement upon the rights of men, it will in the same breath refuse to do anything about it for what it calls “the greater good of society” (as if abolishing abortion altogether wouldn’t be for the greater good of society). But most importantly, being that it is innocent life, the taking of it is murder. And no one has that right, man or woman; no one but God.

As someone said it best, “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” --- Thomas Jefferson

It’s puzzling how they missed that. It’s the first one.

Having said that, if women did claim it is 100 percent their bodies and responsibility it would at least be, from a legal standpoint, harder to disprove (although not impossible) their sole claim over a child’s fate at conception. It would be closer to the truth and at least a little more honorable; albeit still wrong. And albeit, still murder. But because they don’t claim this, it becomes obvious that their motivations are not to get to the truth or to do what is fair but rather they are self serving and deceitful in nature. There are always sacrifices to go along with the rights and privileges we have in life. So it behooves me to remind you that there is no such thing as a position that benefits you but doesn’t require an equivalent amount of sacrifice and responsibility to sustain it. So if someone tells you their position does just that, proceed with caution.

And don’t be misled. There is a difference between being the “willing party” and being the “responsible party”. A man’s willingness to participate in sex is irrelevant in accessing responsibility. Pointing out a man’s willingness to participate sexually is a typical response used for accessing 50 percent responsibility to him.

Hypothetically, let’s say there is a woman who owns a house and there is a man that doesn’t. This man has purchased a large amount of illegal drugs and now wants to use these drugs in her house because he has no place of his own to do so. When he asks her, she tells him no and he leaves to go elsewhere. And what is his reason for leaving? Because it is established that it is 100% her house and therefore he has to abide by her rules. Because what goes on in that house, she is 100% responsible for. Not 90 percent, not 75 percent and not 50/50 but 100 percent.

Do you see the correlation so far? If so, then continue.

Now the man is obviously willing to use these illegal drugs in her house. You got that? He is willing. But the fact that he is willing to do these things has no bearing on the outcome of whether or not these things will occur. It is completely irrelevant. If she says no, it’s not going to happen. It is her decision and her decision alone on whether or not to put herself and her house at risk. And if this same woman decides at any point that she too is willing to use drugs with him in her household, it still remains irrelevant that the man was equally willing. Because the man’s willingness still isn’t the determining factor but her complete authority to make that decision is. That’s why it doesn’t make it the man’s responsibility when the police raid her home and the state government confiscates her house. No one would ever claim that a woman participating in behavior that led to the government confiscating her house is only 50% responsible for her loss, simply because a man, who had no authority to decide what went on, was equally willing to participate. In a court of law, no judge would even entertain that argument. Yet the obvious correlation between this and a woman stating a man is 50% responsible for her body getting pregnant is no longer even questioned by a hoodwinked society. Being equally willing in an act doesn’t automatically mean someone is equally responsible for every consequence that occurs. Willingness is not the determining factor, what you have authority over and are responsible for, is.

As someone said it best, “The presence of willingness is irrelevant when the absence of responsibility is present.” --- E. Abdiel

Yet some will say that if the man said “No” to using drugs to a willing woman, that drug use also would not have occurred. And that means he is equally responsible for stopping the drug use in her house. And therefore equally responsible for the negative results that occur. This is a continuation of the argument used to try and place 50% of the blame and responsibility upon men. Yet that premise is also completely false. And that also would never hold up legally in any court. Because to be responsible for what occurs in her house would presume that he owns at least some part of that house. And we all know the reaction a man would get by claiming he owns even 1 percent of a woman’s body, let alone 50 percent. And the fact of the matter is, that he may be completely capable of stopping the drug use in her house, but being capable of doing it is completely different than being responsible for doing it. Which is why he would never be held accountable for what happened to her house in a court of law. And neither should a man be held accountable for what may happen to a woman’s body (pregnancy), simply because he’s merely capable of stopping sex from occurring. Because it is only a woman who has complete authority over what she does with her body before and after sex. Isn’t that their premise?

There is one last argument that may be employed to refute my observations. Some may say that if the police raid the house, both the man and woman will get arrested. Therefore, there is blame and responsibility placed on the man also. This proves he too is accountable just as the woman is. This statement is true. But this doesn’t disprove my point but rather confirms it. Because even though both the woman and man willingly did the exact same act that produced the police raid, there is one extremely important fact that separates these two individuals. The man went into the situation knowing what consequences his particular actions might cause him personally and the woman did the same. Yet if you compare the negative consequences, caused by similar actions, taken by equally willing partners, you’d see different results. Because only she is the 100% owner of the house. Therefore he might also be arrested and punished, but only for what he is 100% responsible for in that situation; which simply is himself. Not her and not the loss of her house, but just himself. She on the other hand is not only responsible for herself but also the negative consequences that affected her house. Because even though she did the same act, she knowingly took a bigger risk and therefore is paying a bigger price. She had more to risk and therefore more to lose. And she still made the decision to continue. Is that fair? Of course it is. It’s her house and her responsibility as to what goes on in her house. And at no point does his individual consequences or his willingness to participate change that fact.

When you clear away all the feminist rhetoric and preconditioned talking points, it comes down to this: Feminist supporters have used the legal system to remove perceived injustices against women because they hate the fact that men naturally have less to lose for doing the same act. They refuse to see that by subverting the natural order of things, injustices are actually being carried out against men. Injustices done by laying the responsibility and blame in the incorrect place; thereby disparaging the character of all men. Injustices done by making that responsibility strictly a financial one, thereby telling men that the only important role that society wants them to play in a child’s life is monetary. Injustices done by only giving lip service to men being equally important to their children, while stripping them of every ability and God given right to be fathers. Sure many women say they want men to be fathers to their children but on their terms; and on a limited basis. They are permitted the occasional suggestion with women holding ultimate veto power. Even in the best case scenarios of joint custody (with physical custody still given to women), men have little to no say in their children’s protection, direction or upbringing. This is a direct assault to a man’s pride, manhood and natural instinct to lead. At best, they are effectively relegated to the role of a friend, a relative or an older brother; but not a father. In short, they take away what truly makes him a man and then demand payment for it.. And then society wonders why men gravitate away from situations such as these instead of toward them.

But as in most feminist causes, they also do harm not good to those they are supposedly fighting for. They don’t care in the slightest that they are destroying the lives of women also. That’s because the women they declare they are trying to help, protect, and empower are secondary to their cause. I will say that again because it is vital for you to understand. Women are secondary to their cause. Secondary because they are committed to “ideas” rather than “actualities”. “Agendas” rather than “realities”. Adversity and unhappiness is now the reality for most women. But in their minds, the average woman’s reality should continue to be compromised for the sake of their “idea” of the way it should be. If you are a woman, for your own good, understand that.

And understand this also: When feminist supporters use the media and the legal system to consistently reassign responsibility and blame to men, it causing women to become indoctrinated into a culture of entitlement that takes responsibility and then shame off of all their actions. This is how we’ve gone from a culture where being a single mother was something to be frowned upon, to a culture where saying “I’m a single mother” is a source of pride; a badge of honor; an accomplishment. It is now something that is said to inspire positive feelings and preferential treatment in those who hear it. This mentality, instilled by the women’s movement, continually feeds into the exact attitudes that cause women to more and more likely not care if they entwine themselves in the precarious sexual situations that feminists are supposedly fighting to protect them from. Because now there is little consequence, less responsibility, no shame and therefore no deterrent to cease their less than honorable behavior. On the contrary, there are only reasons to increase it. But what they don’t tell you about, is all the adversity, unhappiness and pain that comes with it too. This is the fruit born, not from men, but from the underpinnings of the women’s movement. The great friend and protector of women. If you are a woman and you are reading this, it is something you truly need to think about.

As someone said it best, “With friends like these, who needs enemies.” --- Unknown.

In conclusion, it is apparent that women have been taught to feel oppressed by a natural biological fact of life that they can get pregnant and a man can not. And because it is impossible to direct their anger at God or “nature” for making them this way, they blame the only other possible suspect in this crime against them. Men. Men and their misogynistic plots to make them second class citizens. The problem with this recent revisionist perception is that a sacred truth about the ability to become pregnant has been forgotten. So consider this correlation and remember this truth: The responsibility of owning a house is a blessing, not a fact of life used to portray yourself as a victim because you choose to disrespect and misuse the gift of ownership. And in the same way being chosen by God to be the responsible vessel in the area of carrying a child is even more so a blessing, not a fact of life to be used to portray yourself as a victim because you choose to disrespect and misuse the gift of your body’s ability to carry a child and give birth. Yes it’s true it’s a responsibility that men don’t have. Because the more one is blessed with in a particular area, the more responsibility you have in that area. And make no mistake about it, it is a blessing. So don’t expect any sympathy here. If anything, I should be envious; as all men should be. Because to be blessed with a gift is to be chosen for a purpose and a reason. Chosen because, in this area at least, you are actually superior to men. So ironically what women try and caste off in order to “make themselves equal”, is one of the things that makes them equal in the eyes of God (because men are blessed with other gifts). And women are not just blessed with the gift of being able to carry a child and give birth, but also the temperament and disposition that predisposes them to be less likely to put themselves in inappropriate sexual situations. Therefore, more responsibility and less excuse is accounted to women for behaving in the exact same manner a man might in sexual situations. In short, if you are a woman and try and take a man’s shortcomings and aspire to those shortcomings instead of assuming your responsibilities, all in the name of equality, then you have defeated your purpose. For in terms of character and worthiness of respect, you have just effectively made yourself less than equal to men.

As someone said it best, “Be careful what you ask for, you might get it.” --- Unknown.

© Copyright E. Abdiel
eabdiel7@hotmail.com

DISCLAIMER: The conclusion expressed concerning how much responsibility should be accessed to men after a child is born, albeit closer to the truth, does not reflect my actual belief on what the final moral and legal solution should ultimately be. I am simply exposing that if the “My Body, My Choice” legal position is taken, then the principle needs to be consistent, and the full responsibility of that position needs to be taken also; not just the benefits. And if the responsibility aspects of that position is not taken, then the original premise behind that position must be flawed.

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Comments

He makes all the right points. Personally I am not appealed to when people add religion to this argument, mostly because the argument simply doesn't need it and it only serves as a distraction and reason for people who don't have the same beliefs in God/the divine, etc., to reject the basic central point of the argument. Nonetheless if someone can put those pieces aside, if it is not to his or her liking, the core correctness of the points he makes are indisputable: one can't be held responsible for a decision or the consequences therefrom that he did not make. As long as a woman can get an abortion, she is responsible for the actions she takes in refraining from doing so. That places the entire responsibility for the child on her and her alone. 99% of the people who read that last line, even masculists, will likely bristle at the idea on an emotional level-- still, this is about legal and financial responsibility for decisions made. Many people, even pro-choicers, bristle at the pictures of aborted fetuses. With options come consequences, some not so pleasant. Having cake and eating it too is not something that generally works; no one escapes the law of cause and effect.

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At the beginning you made a good argument, indeed, my argument, about why men should be allowed to have, presumably, "paper abortions", but I thought your essay was long-winded and I finished reading after the first third of it.

However, you essentially contradicted yourself by also arguing, by implication, that men should be responsible for child support. By adding Christian mysticism and by arguing that abortion is immoral and should thus, presumably, be illegal, women lose the abortion choice and thus women and men would share 50% of the responsibility for unintended births. So which is it--are you in favor of paper abortions or not? (Maybe you answered that later; I didn't read that far.) Also, many people will just stop reading as soon as they see the religious mysticism, dismiss you as a religious wacko, and assume that your position is to make abortion illegal and not to argue for "paper abortions for men".

Sadly, the idea that men should be allowed to have paper abortions is not even part of the public consciousness. The idea is so radical that the general public is completely unaware of it, never having thought about it. After all, abortion itself is barely legal right now, so the notion that men could have paper abortions, shifting 100% of the child support burden onto women and increasing women's reasons for wanting to have abortions never occurs to anyone because most people would seem to believe that abortion is either immoral or at least unseemly and thus they wouldn't want to advocate a policy that would encourage women to have abortions. Thus, your view that abortion is immoral for religious reasons works against "paper abortions for men".

Abortion needs to become accepted and regarded as moral and rational and in many cases even obligatory before the public will even consider "paper abortions for men". Sadly, I don't think that's going to happen in my lifetime. Human beings may have left the caves and built skyscrapers, but they still believe in caveman philosophies and religions, and that is a huge component of the problems the world has today.

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"women lose the abortion choice and thus women and men would share 50% of the responsibility for unintended births. So which is it--are you in favor of paper abortions or not? "

I think the arguement is that IF women have the right to abortion, then men should have an equivalent right. If woman give up or lose that right, then men would lose their equivalent right. The issue is making sure people are held to the same standard. If women can't make the decision before conception, men shouldn't be held to a higher standard.

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you've all nailed it.
as long as abortion is available to women, it must be made available to men.

FEINSTEIN: In Bray, you argued on behalf of the government as deputy solicitor general that the right to have an abortion is not specific to one gender.

Specifically, your brief stated, quote, Unlike the condition of being pregnant, the right to have an abortion is not a fact that is specific to one gender, end quote.

Testimony before congress during the questioning of soon to be supreme court justice John Roberts.

Just don't believe her if she ever tells you "I don't want anything from you" regarding a pregnancy. Because she'll come back and say something completely different to her lawyer. In other words, WOMEN LIE!

oregon dad

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I don't think that's the arguement. I think the arguement is that we should be encouraging men and women to have children when they're both committed to raising the child. That will never happen so long as women have a payday if they get pregnant by a guy they know doesn't want the kid. They get the child support without the pesky sharing of the child (and even if he DOES want shared custody, she knows he's going to have to fight like hell to get it, and all she has to do is mutter the word 'abuse' under her breathe to prevent it).

Men who choose to become fathers have every obligation in the world to support their offspring. Women who choose to con men into becoming fathers need to be made to shoulder the responsibility that is the result of their con game.

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I propose a new law - all children MUST have two willing parents (1 male and 1 female), otherwise the child will immediately be placed under the care of the state and be put up for adoption.

The birthing mother can file for adoption of the child, but must get in line behind COUPLES with the financial and emotional where with all to provide a healthy home for the child.

So many women have a child instead of, for example, a cat. They do it for their own emotional needs or deficits. It is sick and the child ends up suffering. Single motherhood is often really just child abuse.

Yet we give it a badge of honor instead of shaming the mother for doing something totally selfish, stupid, and extremely harmful to the child and society at large.

oregon dad

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and even if he DOES want shared custody, she knows he's going to have to fight like hell to get it, and all she has to do is mutter the word 'abuse' under her breathe to prevent it

The abuse excuse is one way but it can be even easier. In my state (and I think it’s typical) the parents need to show that they can work together to make shared custody work.

So guess what! Mom wants sole custody and gets it by refusing to work with a Dad that wants shared custody. The court WILL reward her for being unreasonable.

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I thank you all for taking the time to read the editorial and for not sitting on the sidelines and ignoring the issues we all face.

ItsDan’s Comments:
I don't think that's the arguement. I think the arguement is that we should be encouraging men and women to have children when they're both committed to raising the child.

E. Abdiel’s Response:
One of the main reasons why men and women are not raising children together is because all the motivations that kept women from having sex with men they would never marry and have children with have been removed. In the past, women did not engage in sexual activity for fear of being solely RESPONSIBLE for a child. So they not only knew they were ready to have children, but they knew the men they were with were men who would take care of them and the child; even in unplanned pregnancies. The government has removed that responsibility from women and has placed it on men with child support payment as well as other government hand outs. As I stated in my essay, I do not believe simply reassigning all responsibility to women as being the final solution to the abortion or child rearing issues. But to do so would be closer to the truth because it would be philosophically fair and would actually do exactly what you believe is most important. By making women responsible for the decisions they make, they would cease being promiscuous and would seek out men who are committed to raising children together.

RandomMan Comments:
Men are still a part of society, and so are women and children. Like everyone else, men have a moral and legal obligation to support that society. If men have no obligation to directly support children, they will end up supporting children through their obligations to society as a whole because a pregnant woman or a single mother simply is not as capable as a healthy, single man of earning wages, being productive and paying taxes…

Look, the system we use is badly broken. The notion that a woman has no responsibilities and all of the choices is absurd, as is the converse whereby men have all of the responsibilities and none of the choices. Simply reversing that situation, or relieving both genders of responsibilities equally will NOT solve the problem. The correct solution likely lies someplace in the middle - a reasonable process by which a man may reject paternity early in a pregnancy

E. Abdiel’s Response:
By removing the responsibility and shame off of men and reassigning it back to women, unplanned pregnancy would so significantly decrease, that the taxes we all pay to support such occurrences would be too insignificant to be an issue. This is not opinion or a theory. It is fact that has played out through the history of the world. When people are responsible for their behavior, which women are not, their behavior changes. Women now know that men and society will not only take on much of their responsibility, but they will also be viewed as a kind of “victim heroine” by being a single mother. Thereby increasing their behavior and all the problems associated with it; including taxes we all pay to support such behavior.

Furthermore, you are correct to say that the way the system is now is absurd. It flies in the face of all that is moral and legal as well as simple common sense. However I do not agree that relieving men of the responsibility of supporting a child, when it is unplanned, is equally absurd. In that scenario, the legal and fairness issues are completely addressed which is not occurring now. Thereby making it imperfect, but not as absurd. When you state that the answer should “lie someplace in the middle” by saying there should be “a reasonable process by which a man may reject paternity early in pregnancy”, you are actually embracing my point. You do not disagree with my statement that men should be relieved of their responsibility of supporting unplanned children. What you disagree with, by your own words, is men NOT HAVING THE RIGHT to reject their responsibility of supporting unplanned children. Nothing I stated in my essay directly contradicts that assessment. I never specifically addressed that aspect of the issue in my essay. My point was to first make people acknowledge the inequity in the way it is now by exposing the “My body, My Choice” position for its obvious disregard to legal, moral and common sense standards. Once it is shown how it is unequal and unfair, it will show people how to come to the conclusion you came to on your own. Although I believe abortion to be murder and not a choice anyone should be able to make, the only secular position to take that is almost equally fair to both men and women (but not the child) is the very one you stated. Because both men and women can decide individually if they will or will not be parents. The only issue that can never be remedied by a strictly secular view is if the women doesn’t want the child and the man does. Of course we all know that if a man and woman both decide to be parents, the man will face the standard bias’ of awarding legal and physical custody to the mother; thereby awarding her child support anyhow. But at least the underlying lunacy and injustice of the current law would be addressed and we could move onto the next battle.

mcc99 Comments:
He makes all the right points. Personally I am not appealed to when people add religion to this argument, mostly because the argument simply doesn't need it and it only serves as a distraction and reason for people who don't have the same beliefs in God/the divine, etc., to reject the basic central point of the argument. Nonetheless if someone can put those pieces aside, if it is not to his or her liking, the core correctness of the points he makes are indisputable: one can't be held responsible for a decision or the consequences therefrom that he did not make.

E. Abdiel’s Response:
Thank you for seeing the truth and conveying it so that others might see it also. I do have one point of contention with something you said. You stated the religious aspects of this argument didn’t appeal to you and it only serves as a distraction. However, I did not write this just for those who do not believe that God is the final arbiter of such matters. Incidentally, there are more people who hold our position based on God or moral grounds than on philosophical or fairness grounds alone. So to disregard those who believe in God would be legal and political suicide. With that said, for you to deem the moral arguments a distraction is as single-minded and ignorant to them, as it would be for you, if they stated that the philosophical arguments are a distraction. In your mind, the religious argument is not needed. In their mind, although helpful, the philosophical argument is not needed. And to disregard their voices only serves to divide us and give the opposition that much more ground to stand on. For the record, the philosophical arguments mean nothing to me. If the law stands against God, which it does now, I will oppose it. It just so happens that the legal, philosophical, common sense and religious arguments support each other (for the most part); as you recognize yourself. Therefore I can use all arguments to show the level of the injustice taking place. So for maximum effect I wrote this essay for those who believe God doesn’t matter AND for those who believe He does. Because right now, we all are on the same side.

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