"Toxic masculinity"

Submitted by Mastodon on Sat, 2015-10-10 21:27

Article here. Excerpt:

'We see this dynamic play out often in mass shootings. These typically young to middle-aged men have some sort of perceived grievance against the world, and they feel that violence is the only way to gain retribution. Too often, perceived wrongs at the hands of women are given as reasons for mass violence. One of the most infamous examples is Elliot Rodgers, a man who just last year killed six people near the University of California, Santa Barbara. He posted a video on YouTube called “Elliot Rodgers’ Retribution” explaining that he wanted to punish women who’d rejected him because he was “22 years old and still a virgin” and “girls gave their affection, and sex, and love to other men.” Similarly, recent reports have alleged that Harper-Mercer complained online and in a typewritten manifesto about not having a girlfriend and being a virgin. These men felt that they were fully entitled to women, relationships, and sex. When they didn’t receive what they thought they deserved, they turned to violence. In their minds, being slighted to this degree—at the hands of all women—would require a dramatically large act of violence in order to reestablish masculinity.
...
As a man, you are taught that you own the spaces you inhabit, so it would be easy to believe that, by extension, you have a right to decide what happens to the bodies and lives of those around you. With a sense of male entitlement and easy access to legal guns, these two men reacted violently to regain their status under an ingrained and twisted definition of masculinity.'

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Another explanation is that these young men felt they had to live up to a societal expectation to have a girlfriend (and to take the initiative), rather than feeling "entitled". When they couldn't live up to this expectation, they lashed out. This is not justifying their actions, of course, as it is still wrong to commit murder. However, it may be a better explanation than the old feminist canard of men feeling "entitled" to women.

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Submitted by mens_issues on Sun, 2015-10-11 00:54

Toxic Masculinity?

Can we also say: Toxic Blackness?

Would that be accepted? No! It is racist.

So why do we even accept "Toxic Masculinity?"

The fact is that men are men and men are masculine. And we have taken the word to describe men and ABUSED it to describe criminals (many of who are female).

But assuming you CAN get away with "toxic masculinity," then should we not be spending more on the education of boys to avoid this?

Just using the phrase "toxic masculinity" not only abuses men in sexist ways, but it accomplishes NOTHING unless you actually DO something about it and propose a solution.

I have noticed that all those who write about "toxic masculinity" never propose the next step:

1) spending as much money on health care for men as we spend on women,
2) spending as much money for the education of boys as we spend on programs to get girls into SMET,
3) not punishing men with more jail time for the same crimes (which CREATES the toxicity),
4) not demonizing male sexuality (we should legalize prostitution and not condemn porn in the same way we do not condemn romance novels for women).
5) not lying about wage gaps (such lies make men work even harder than women for the same salary (and men get tired of that).

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Submitted by ThomasI on Sun, 2015-10-11 07:22

The purpose of these kinds of articles is to convince the powers that be to treat all men as criminals.

Eliot felt despair, not entitlement. He wanted something--sex--that every man has wanted since the beginning of time. And with sex, he also believed he would be affirmed as a worthwhile human being. These ideas are not true--a man does not need sex to be a valuable human being. But, too often, that's how men are measured--if they can't get some, there's something wrong with the man. Eliot believed if he couldn't get some, he had no value. He felt powerless to change that on his own, so he went on a murderous rampage, killing men and women--and himself. That did not originate in a sense of entitlement; it originated in a sense of futility and powerlessness.

A good book to read or re-read is Warren Farrell's "Myth of Male Power." Yes, some men have power in this country, through money or politics--but most men. And often men want power because they feel powerless in their own lives.

The antidote is not decrying "male entitlement" The antidote is teaching men they do not need sex or the love of a woman to be valuable human beings. Of course, once men starting valuing themselves, they often find women start valuing them--which makes it easier for a man to have a relationship that might include sex.

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Submitted by el cid on Mon, 2015-10-12 15:29