"The Problem With Masculinity"

I was expecting the typical trash, a full-bore "MEN SUCK!" piece that I could happily send to oblivion with the click of the "Delete" button. But the author makes some sound observations about the way femininity in men is openly attacked nearly since birth, as what she described happened to the boy in the supermarket.

She does however register on the "Men Suck!" scale of about a 3/10 (10 being the most whacked-out fem-locos whose idea of "fixing" human society includes total gendercide vs. males to a 1, which can be summed up with "You men are all alike!", one we've been hearing for millenia -- but a sin we're as guilty of as females). This is because she doesn't address notions around how an excess of femininity can be damaging, yet even the qualities she attributes to femininity. Compassion, for example, is wonderful. Acting compassionately, likewise. There are times though when it leads to co-dependence, allowing others to get off the hook for their bad behavior, etc. And I can't say I concur w/ her belief that femininity is under heavy siege in the modern era. Is humanity getting more competitive as time goes on, or less? I say "less". Today, when wars big and small threaten or start, world leaders go into overdrive to find ways to put a lid on it. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not. This is a far cry from life in the not-too-distant past. As for sex roles, men staying home while the mrs. went to work was virtually unthinkable a mere 60 yrs. ago, at least here in the US. Now, not at all, esp. if it makes a lot of economic sense.

But her major theme, that ppl ought to be free w/out "pushback" from others around them to just express themselves as they want as it pertains to classically masculine and feminine qualities, so long as that doesn't include them doing patently bad things to others, is spot-on. Boys crying when upset? Great idea! You know John Wayne (The Duke!) had a popular reputation of portraying stoic and unemotional men in his roles on TV and film. But I've seen a fair nbr of his films (if you've never seen The Longest Day, see if you can find it on Hulu, etc... every actor who was any actor of that time was in it, incl. John Wayne), and he's nothing if not a very emotional character every time. Just b/c he's not in tears every 10 mins. or talking about his fear of spiders (have no idea if that's true; just made it up as an example) doesn't mean he's not showing them. I think the author could use some time with Swallowed By A Snake and some other such titles. But I concur w/ her overall point that gender role expectations haven't kept up w/ the rhetoric.

I tell my son (and daughter), they can cry if they have an owie. They can cry if their feelings are truly hurt. They can cry for a host of reasons.

But when they cry because I did not buy them the ice cream or the candy, I tell them "don't cry."

This woman has no idea why the father told his son not to cry. (She commented how he said "Look, that boy is not crying." But that comment was so contrived, I doubt its sincerity.). She has no idea what was happening and she should have not passed judgement.

And, as a member of the gender that has created almost all of the world's art, music, sculpture, choreography, painting, poetry, opera, literature, architecture, fashion, and so on....

...I resent the notion that I have a feminine side. I have one side and it is quintessentially masculine. Sometimes this masculinity is gentle, loving, warm and tender and sometimes it is aggressive focused and destructive. But it all masculine.

Can you imagine if people said: "look, there, at H. Clinton. She is successful in politics because of her masculine side?" (yes, some people will say that to insult her... ) but whenever anyone says that, the feminists deride those people. So too, all that I am is masculine.

And, yes, there are some times when boys should not cry and there is nothing wrong with saying that to teach them that crying is not a tool for manipulation (But if we did that, we might realize the true nature of toxic femininity.)

Indeed "masculinity in and of itself is not the problem". Expectation of males to a rigid gender role is. Yet, despite the fact that this piece is supposed to be about boys being short-changed when it comes to expressing themselves, somehow she manages to make this piece a sob story for women. Nothing new.