Mansplaining or Male Muting: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Submitted by Mastodon on Sun, 2014-06-01 22:11

Article here. Excerpt:

'However, there is another practice we are not currently discussing which also perpetuates inequality between men and women, and it is the opposite of 'mansplaining'; it is glossing over, it is keeping mum, it is censoring, it is male muting. It is when men do not correct women when they are wrong, whereas they would another man. It is when men do not call out women when they are bluffing or bullsh*ting something, whereas they would a man, without a second thought. It feels just as humiliating and just as degrading. A mansplainer assumes a woman knows less than he does. A male muter assumes a woman knows less than he does and thus feels no need to explain. Whereas the assumption for a mansplainer lies in a responsibility to explain something to the poor woman who just can't understand it, a male muter stays quiet because the poor woman probably won't understand it. It's nothing for her to worry her pretty little head about. Just as mainsplaining is subconscious, so too is male muting. It is not a conscious decision to stay quiet whereas one would not with a male, but occurs as a conditioned response.

Early sociolinguistic studies on interruptions have shown a greater tendency of men to interrupt in conversations with women than in same-sex conversations. Mansplaining is a conversation killer. Either I am frustrated and annoyed because I have someone explain to me concepts that I studied that they know little or close to nothing about, or I am bored because I have to listen to someone wax on about a topic I already understand. However, when I am not called out on being wrong, that is when by [sic] confidence is shaken. That is when I begin to doubt myself. That is as much of a paternalistic act for me as mansplaining is; it's simply another side to the same coin. It creates self doubt. It fosters a paranoia inside me that is threefold -- that what I am saying is incorrect, that the man who is listening to me knows it is incorrect and that he chooses simply to stay quiet. This creates feelings of incompetence and inequality. Though it may seem women benefit in this scenario, we lose out. It is frustrating to be appeased. Whereas I see in same-sex conversations partners who correct one another, challenge each other and disagree with the other, too often I see appeasement in conversations between men and women. I want to hear empowered exchanges between equals. I want discussions. I want to seize opportunities for growth. I want to participate in debates. I want to go point by point into discussing issues. I cannot do that if I am simply being appeased. I want equality.'

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Comments

Hilarious.

A man disagreeing with a woman is wrong since he may not have if she were a he, so it's probably sexism that is motivating him, regardless of right and wrong. Now, agreeing with her or simply not correcting her re simply incorrect facts (or challenging her opinion) is wrong even if he thinks she's wrong, as that would be "mansplaining". Only agreeing with a woman who is objectively right abt something is OK. Otherwise, the man in a man-woman convo is doing something wrong.

But wait, agreeing with her is also wrong since it could be interpreted as condescending, as there's no way of knowing for sure he actually agrees with her -- unless you interrogate him, and mercilessly, perhaps water-boarding him until you know for *sure* he's being honest with you. But you can't, because, well, he's a man. And you know what THEY'RE like!

My how nothing changes. Reminds me of the old joke: "If a man says something in the middle of a forest and his wife isn't there to hear it, is he still wrong?" Now it's "If a man ever says anything and Mariya Yefremova isn't there to hear it, is he still *doing* something wrong?" The answer is of course "Yes". She says she wants equality. Does it sound like that to you?

Ain't no pleasin' some folk, so you're a-better off not a-tryin', as me old great-grand-pappy used to say, and nowhere is it truer than when speaking of feminists. =)

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Submitted by Matt on Mon, 2014-06-02 01:14

Ha! I notice that no one is willing to comment on her article. Wonder why!

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Submitted by charlie on Mon, 2014-06-02 13:26

when it comes to discussing anything with women and correcting them when they're wrong, heads she wins, tails you lose. If you open your mouth, you're an ass. If you don't open your mouth, you're an ass.

See how feminism works, ladies and gents?

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Submitted by xtrnl on Wed, 2014-06-04 09:52