Rob Okun: Masculinity question still missing post Newtown

Article here. Excerpt:

'As we arrive at the gut-wrenching first anniversary of Newtown Saturday, I teeter back and forth between sadness and anger. Sadness that 20 6- and 7-year-olds were murdered — along with a half-dozen Sandy Hook Elementary School educators — and anger that public officials and most of the media still largely ignore the missing component in the Connecticut tragedy: the gender of the shooter.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s urgent we implement gun control legislation and increase mental health services. Some states, including Colorado and Connecticut, have passed new gun laws, doing an end run around the National Rifle Association and their minions in Congress. And kudos to Vice president Joe Biden for shepherding $100 million in additional money for mental wellness programs. Still, like a two-legged stool, those efforts can’t stand up to this type of violence if we don’t add a third leg: male socialization.

Take this simple quiz. Don’t worry; you’re sure to get 100 since — spoiler alert — the answer isn’t “woman.” In the year since Adam Lanza began his rampage by murdering his mother, was it a man or a woman who killed innocent people at the Washington Navy Shipyard, the Boston Marathon, Santa Monica College, homes in Hialeah, Fla., Manchester, Ill., and Fernley, Nev.; a barbershop in New York’s Mohawk Valley; and Los Angeles International Airport? Get it?
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In the 1990s I facilitated batterers’ groups working with lonely, isolated men who had been abusive to their spouses. While none was as mentally unstable as the mass shooters, all were products of the same male socialization.

Today no one may be shrugging, dismissively saying, “Boys will be boys” to explain away aberrant male behavior. Still, when “boys” kill their mothers, children, strangers — committing suicide by mass murder — isn’t it time we took the crisis in masculinity seriously? If we care about the parents of Sandy Hook the answer to this quiz question must be yes.'