Is anyone saying women messed up Healthcare.gov and men must save it?

Admittedly-- in that indeed, there's no story to link to. But that in and of itself is a story.

As a professor of engineering, I have secured funding to retain women in engineering. I had bought the line about feminism. I have (had?) many feminst friends who I supported over the years. And now I am waking up. I need to share this discussion I had on facebook

I will begin with my post
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HEADLINE NEWS NUMBER 1!!!

Healthcare.gov is a mess, and the rollout of Obama-care has been a debacle. The two people most responsible for this epic IT failure are Kathleen Sebelius and Marilyn Tavenner.

If men had been in charge of this rollout, you can be sure they would have enforced fault-tolerant coding styles in the programming team, ensured that semaphores did not lock on the fork/exec when the servers spawned the child processes.

HEADLINE NEWS NUMBER 2!!!

Congress is a mess, and the budget negotiations have been a debacle. The two people most responsible for this epic failure are Reid and Boener.

If women had been in charge of this congressional budget negotiation, you can be sure they would have enforced dialogue and discussion. They would have brought teams together to ensure agreement and respect.

SO NOW I ASK YOU...
Which headline would NEVER have appeared out of respect for women?
Which headline DID appear (in countless papers) to the complete disrespect of men? Which headline raised not an eyebrow and continued by diminishing the self-respect of our nation’s sons?
Which headline was not only accepted, but praised?

Where’s the outrage?
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RESPONSE FROM A FORMER FEMINIST FRIEND… This is what she posted on my facebook page.

Suzanne Aurilio (30 october 2013): Tom, with all due respect, a feminism 101 course would help you understand why I'M not outraged at all. Your argument is akin to a white person bitching about affirmative action programs and claiming the absurd notion that "reverse discrimination" exists. It's ignorant bullshit. Both fail to understand the historical and structural oppression of a particular group of people. Put another way...the world is fucked up because of men, male culture, masculinity, etc., because guess who's in power? Women are not. Period.
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I first messaged her and told her I deleted her post because it was sexist.

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MY RESPONSE on facebook

Just so people do understand where I am coming from.... I was at my computer when a person from San Diego commented on this post. I immediately deleted it and defriended that person. But now I would like you to see what she wrote. Totally ignoring the possible issue, ignoring the impact on men and boys, ignoring my post last week on Movember without even a LIKE... she went rigth to this... This is what confronts men who simply say: "hey, can you hold on a moment..."

Suzanne Aurilio (30 october 2013): Tom, with all due respect, a feminism 101 course would help you understand why I'M not outraged at all. Your argument is akin to a white person bitching about affirmative action programs and claiming the absurd notion that "reverse discrimination" exists. It's ignorant bullshit. Both fail to understand the historical and structural oppression of a particular group of people. Put another way...the world is fucked up because of men, male culture, masculinity, etc., because guess who's in power? Women are not. Period.

Now she may or may not be correct in theory. And I may or may not agree with her. But that is not the point I have been making. My point is that the moment men just try to speak up on behalf of our sons and brothers, this is what confronts us.

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HER RESPONSE TO MY RESPONSE JUST BEFORE I DELETED HER

Wow. You really don't get it. Tom. Do you? I cannot be sexist. You don't get it....
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Now keep in mind... I have secured over $800,000 in NSF and DUE funding to help women in engineering. And she knows this.

GOOD GOD! I was friends with this person. I supported her! I helped her formulate methods to help girls in math. WHERE HAVE I BEEN!!!!!???? I would not have been at this point if it had not been for my wife. SHE Is the one who began pointing out how men are treated. And for five years, I dismissed it. I feel so angry myself.

Been there, had those.

Two women were in charge of one of the most important aspects of one of the most far-reaching government programs ever--and yet your "friend" claims women have no power. Women do have power, as the facts indicate. What they do not have is accountability. Claiming not to have power is a good way not to be held accountable--and excuses your friend's sexism, at least in her own feminist mind.

It's truly funny how a feminist can claim women have no power as they proceed to define terms in ways that specifically benefit them... women can't be sexist? why? because women said so? Because women have o power? well, ether women don't have power, in which case, the definition they wish to use is meaningless, and thus, women can be sexist.... or else, they have successfully defined what can and can't be sexist, and have thus demonstrated power, making their claim to be unable to be sexist untrue, meaning they can be sexist (and are so, as demonstrated by their exclusion of men as victims of discrimination, in the very definition they established.

Good comments.

I have a feminist cousin with the same attitude as broxman's friend (or ex-friend). I put up the article about the Lesbian Feminists Haunted House on my Facebook. This is the haunted house that received public grants and featured severed penises.

She comments that it is wrong, but then added that women act like this out of frustration, and they wouldn't have so much anger if they didn't face so much discrimination. She described it as "counteractive" to patriarchy.

I'm tempted to ask her "what discrimination?", but she'll probably just go off on the wage gap, and how few women are CEO's.....I don't have the energy to start anything with her.

Sadly she's a school teacher....well, she was. She worked for a few years, then went on disability for "chronic fatigue syndrome" This is an illness where you are too tired to do anything, there's no known cause (how 'bout laziness?). She's only 29 and has no kids ("I'm never going to be anyone's baby making machine!" she told me as I was pregnant with my third child). Her and I are opposites. We are cousins and close in age and lived in the same neighborhood, so we got compared a lot when we were growing up. She never sees any double standards or holes in feminist theory. She thinks homeschooling moms like me are poisoning and depriving our kids, especially our daughters. But if she represents a typical teacher, I'm glad I keep my kids away. (BTW - the creator of the feminist lesbian haunted house is also a teacher/college professor)

edit: PS - broxman, my often critical comments about educators are only meant for feminist teachers/professors or those that are part of the "take control away from parents" mindset of the K-12 system, not professors like yourself.

Really odd that you commented on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome!!!

I just submitted a news story on this.

I hope they print it here tomorrow morning.

Did you know when Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was first diagnosed?

The same year that the National Organization of Women was formed.

Now I hope they post my news story.

For years, I ran my class strictly.

Every now and then a student -- ALWAYS a male student -- would send me an email like this:

"Hi, am really pressed for time and I do not have a lot of spare time so could you post on BlackBoard a sumamry of what we need to know for the exam - exactly what topics we must know."

Often, I would get very angry at them and let them know it. Frankly, I was more pissed that they were teaching themselves from home and ignoring all my motivational lectures.

Just a week ago, I received this email:

"Could you post what we need to know so I do not waste time learning things I do not need to know."

Well, I go angry and let him know it.

And then I walked home.

And then I stopped.

And then I thought: "This is how this guy learns. No bullshit. He does not care for my motivational stuff in the classroom. He has a job, a life and he needs to cut to the chase and be pragmatic. Who the hell am I to demand he sit in my classroom and learm my motivational bullshi?"

And there I sat on that bench for one hour thinking of all the men I fucked up with my feminist teaching style. I felt numb with shame. The next day I met with him, told him how sorry I was. I explained the issue. Then this guy hugged me. And he thanked me. And I can only feel such shame for all the men I did this to.

Oh, this is not just a light bulb going off.

It's funny you say that broxman. I can totally relate to the frustrations caused by the way professors operate, and especially to the student you refer to. In my geometry class, it was really nice how the professor gave us an outline of what we need to know for the exam. It really saved my bacon, as being employed full-time, I didn't have time to study everything.

One thing I really dislike is when professors make you do group work. I think it's extremely inconsiderate. It really screws over the students who are full-time and working full-time as well. It makes it so that the only free time they have is eaten up doing more school work, and also makes their grades depend on others.