'Raising Boys to Become Men Who Aren’t Dicks'

Submitted by Mastodon on Tue, 2013-07-02 02:02

Article here. Excerpt:

The thing that worries me most about raising a boy — the thing I seriously give the most thought to — is how to make sure he doesn’t end up being a dick.

That’s not entirely fair to my four-year-old son, who is exuberant and sweet-natured and as selfish as all kids his age tend to be: “Dick” isn’t the word that immediately comes to mind in my day-to-day dealings with him. (And his grandparents will, ahem, most assuredly object to my phrasing here.) But someday this boy is going to become an adolescent, and then he’s going to be a man, and the temptation toward dickishness is going to be a powerful thing at some point.
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In turn, that means looking at the odds and refusing to flinch from the idea that there’s a good chance that your sweet boy might one day — against everything you hope for and teach him — become the kind of entitled man who feels to treat the woman in his life without respect, without love, without tenderness. Because the men who are beating their partners, assaulting them, murdering them? They were all somebody’s son, once.

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... writing an essay asking how can she be sure she'll raise a daughter who doesn't use false accusations and lies against men, or how to make sure they don't kick, punch, slap, etc. their future bfs and husbands?

In a society where the fathers of boys write essays like these, the pathological male self-loathing he demonstrates and the tunnel vision it represents doesn't give me much hope for the future. Self-hating men frequently produce self-hating sons.

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Submitted by Matt on Tue, 2013-07-02 02:17

"the kind of entitled man who feels to treat the woman in his life without respect, without love, without tenderness."

Women are always demanding respect and frequently complain that men don't respect them.

But I have a very "male" view about respect: it's something you earn but to which you are not entitled. You cannot force someone to respect you if you don't deserve it. Some women do; some women don't. So, too, for men.

Respect is not something women are entitled to simply because they exist. In fact, the more they insist it is something to which they are entitled, the less respect I have for them. They must do something to earn the respect. Pouting and stomping one's feet is not doing something to earn respect. It is acting like a child.

As for the rest, isn't that exactly how feminists teach women to treat men? When was the last time a feminist treated a man with respect, love, and tenderness?

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Submitted by el cid on Tue, 2013-07-02 03:28

Great Comment El Cid. You're right on here. I'm fed up with so many women demanding this or that, just because they're women. And when I don't provide, which is often these days, they complain that I don't respect them. No, it's not really about them. It's that I don't respect the special privileges granted to women just because they are women.

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Submitted by redwoodwriter on Tue, 2013-07-02 16:11