
A Confederacy of Bachelors
Article here. Excerpt:
'New Yorkers in midlife crisis, meet the brotherhood of Fortress Astoria: Danaher Dempsey, Luke Crane, Rick Brown and Shyaporn Theerakulstit, best friends and artists.
They have no children, no linear career histories, no readily disposable savings. The four men, all heterosexual, approaching 40 and never married, have lived together for 18 years, give or take a revolving guest roommate, cohabitating in spaces like an East Village walk-up, a Chelsea loft and, now, a converted office space in Queens.
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Sociologically, the men represent the apotheosis of two trends in American life. While Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg may be promoting the idea of tiny apartments for singles, the most recent census figures suggest that many people do not want to live alone; they prefer or need the company: The number of roommates in nonfamily households in New York City increased by more than 40 percent between 2000 and 2010. At the same time, Americans, especially men, have been pushing back the age at which they first marry — for men, it climbed to 28.2 years in 2010, up from 26.8 a decade earlier.
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“It’s almost like they have four really tiny studio apartments,” she said. But, when showering, “you realize you’re in a home with four men, or man-children,” she added, using Mr. Theerakulstit’s term for the roommates.'
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Comments
And what of 4 40-x women living together?
I wonder if they would be called 'women-children' by on-lookers, or typed as 'afraid of commitment' or even as 'losers' or 'gals with no life,' etc., etc? I doubt it. They would instead be sympathized with as they bemoaned the lack of 'good men', or paraded and celebrated as being 'independent'. Such are today's double-standards.
What these guys are doing is 100% just fine. I don't blame them in the least for the decisions they have made re their living arrangements or their paths in life. I'll tell you what their mothers need to do: leave them the hell alone, get out of their business, or if they can't, then check out of their lives. They don't need to hold onto apron strings but they certainly don't need apron strings reaching out to nag them incessantly about how they are living their lives.
And as for would-be wives for these men: Stop trying to get something from them they don't want to give you. You'll be disappointed at the outcome. No woman who has ever goaded and cajoled a man into marriage has ever been happy with the result. Tell you what these guys really need: to be left in peace.