Dear Prudence Screws Up: Drunk Sex Edition

Submitted by Mastodon on Sun, 2012-07-22 20:28

Article here. Excerpt:

'Prudie seems offended by Confused's desire to set ground rules in her own marriage. Lots of couples find a mutually comfortable level of implied consent for drunk sex, but that isn't working for Confused and her husband.

Confused is not the bad guy. She's a survivor who needs her partner to be extra careful about a kind of sex that most people in committed relationships would take in stride.

We don't have to blame her husband or label him as an abuser. Although, as the person who (inadvertently?) traumatized her in the first place, he should be gracious about accomodating her idiosyncratic needs.

This is a problem to be solved by negotiation, not recrimination.'

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Comments

So in "confused's" mind it is okay to marry a man that she believes has raped her as long as he agrees not to do it again, but she is now considering ending the marriage because she thinks he might have raped her again, but she is unsure this time?... and she remembers she "liked it".

The solution: She can stop drinking since she cannot handle the outcome, or while she is sober she can write a letter of consent to her husband that says even if drunk she consents to have sex with him anytime he wants. She can leave the letter on the nightstand. Then they can both feel comfortable... I guess.

She also needs to understand that 'feeling like one has been raped' and 'actual rape' are two different things and her husband should not be punished for her misconceptions.

...I am hoping the whole letter to "Dear Prudance" is a joke.

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Submitted by Kris on Mon, 2012-07-23 17:06