Men Often Misread Women's Sexual Cues: Study

Seen it many times, lived it a few, too. :) I think it comes down to a simple principle of human psychology, evolutionary reproduction aside: we as humans tend to assume that other humans see the world largely the same way we do. It's projection. We assume consciously or not that others will communicate with us by the same standards that we use. So what seems an obnoxious style of speaking to one person does not seem that way to another because the two listeners have different standards around the style of the speaker or themselves. This is how sometimes you'll hear one person say "I 'get' so-and-so." and another say that he does not.

So as for men and women and showing interest, I have learned through some experience that women may be inclined to show interest a certain way and expect men to show interest in the same way. And vice versa. So if a man would show interest in a woman by walking up to her and introducing himself and getting around to asking about her dating status or whether she wants to go see a movie, he subconsciously expects her to do the same and wonders why the woman he discovers by some means who has had her eye on him for maybe a year now has never actually even tried to get past "Hi" in the hallway. Similarly, a woman who has gotten the impression that some guy likes her even though he has made no (to him) overt signs that he does provokes wonderment when that man finds out that so-and-so believes he is "into" her and eventually is going to ask her out.

And of course there is another factor that should not be overlooked, which is that it is assumed and expected that men should be the ones "pursuing", and by this I mean taking the risk of rejection around asking women out on dates (and of course paying for same). Amazing to me the number of stories I have heard and times related to me of some woman who literally let a man she was attracted to just walk out of her life because he never even knew of her feelings for him and because he didn't "make the first move," she lost her opportunity to start something with him, all over a fear of rejection or because she wanted to feel like he wanted her first. How unbelievably silly.

I still don't understand why men are expected to be the sole pursuers nowadays. If men and women are truly equal, it's about time some women took the initiative and asked men out too. It's the 2010s here, for heaven sake! I think a lot of the time when a man doesn't know a woman's interested, it's due to the fact that she hasn't made her interest obvious. This has been my own personal experience. I've dealt with many girls who acted friendly towards me, and seemed interested in dating, but just wanted to be friends in the end.

The study said that women also underestimate men's desire. Perhaps the title should have been, "Men and women often misread each others sexual cues".

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

When it comes to communication, men are generally straight shooters, while women are indirect and in many cases devious (not revealing of their true intentions). No wonder men don't understand what the hell they want. Women need to be willing to take risks just like men (such as the risk of rejection of a potential romantic partner), need to be able to honestly speak about what they want (such as they do or don't want to date somebody -- not endless mind games). With the modern upheaval and shifting of gender roles, only open and honest communication will work. But the women I know are for the most part loathe to give up their devious, withholding and indirect ways.