Absent fathers are fuelling drug addiction, anti-social behaviour and crime among young people, says charity report

Any analysis on why there are so many "absentee fathers"? Could it have something to do with gov't programs and social movements that have encouraged or pushed men out of the lives of their children-- no-fault divorce, feminism, gov't benefits policies that encourage poor women to become single mothers, etc.? I don't deny there are irresponsible men who father children and don't care about it. I do deny that the whole cause of these problems can be rested only on the shoulders of 'absentee fathers'.

I've developed something I call the 99% rule, which is helpful in understanding why men and women are treated differently by the government. It goes like this.

If 1% of men do something bad, it's proof the remaining 99% of men will likely do the same bad thing. If 1% of women do something bad, it's proof the remaining 99% of women likely won't do the same bad thing.

Thus, if 1% of fathers abandon their children, it's proof the remaining 99% also abandoned their children. If 99% of mothers didn't abandon their children, it's proof women are less likely to abandon their children than men.

We base policy, especially family law, on the 1% of men who do bad things and on the 99% of women who don't do bad things. Thus, men are always the bad guys and women the good guys.

What's true is that children with absent fathers suffer from predictable problems. What's false is the belief most of these absentee fathers simply abandoned their children. Of course, about 1% did--which means the other 99% did as well, at least according to the 99% rule.

I have a different perspective, In divorce/separation situations I see the fathers abandon frequently (which is why mothers are usually the first to file for legal divorce, as it is the only way to receive child support from a father that has moved out).

The MRA keeps saying fathers are pushed out. That does not match what I see. I believe it is only a small percentage of fathers that request custody and most absent fathers have left on their own. Divorced men are more likely to remarry and more likely to move away for personal reasons that have nothing to do with career - they simply want to, and they have the freedom to do so as there are no penalties for not seeing your children.

I see all the data pertaining to children with absent fathers, but I would like to see a study done on fathers without their children. What affect does it have on them. When men are absent from their children (even if it by their own choice) I believe they have more problems such as alcohol/drug dependency poor personal life choices etc.

I think keeping fathers close to their children is a win-win for both the child and the father, but I am not sure how to facilitate this if the father chooses not to be involved. Fathers that do want custody should get a fair deal. I recently read somewhere that most fathers that request full custody actually do recieve it if they go to court. Also I think most divorce/custody agreements are now settled out of court and then signed by a judge, so whatever the custody outcome is, it is what both parties agreed to. I am not sure if this is all true or not, but it would be helpfull if we had actual numbers of how many fathers ask for custody.

While I can't prove you are wrong, it is my experience that fathers are forced out of their children's lives more often than not. Often due to a number of factors MRA's are trying to address, including maternal gatekeeping (with or without legal strongarm tactics... Sometimes, an abused man has no option but to accept the fact there is nothing he can do to help his kids (since there are no shelters or support for him, let alone him and his kids), and just needs to get away), legal bias (why spend a fortune in order to appear to the courts like some kind of controlling abuser. Fathers and Families have acknowledged a study that showed men actually did worst off in courts when they layered up, regardless of whether he was first to get a layer or not), lack of reproductive rights (can't really blame a father for not being there for a child he expressly didn't want. that blame should be laid squarely on the mother for forcing the situation, since she had all the choice) and sometimes even a lack of knowledge (again, can't blame a father for not being there if he doesn't even know he's a father), and sometimes men do run to attempt to hide from crippling support orders and penalties. And yes, some men shirk their relationships after divorce (sometimes because they discover the child was never theirs and sometimes because their schmucks).

As to the argument that fathers who request full custody, get it if they go to court... I've read 1 in 4 women are raped while they are children, another 1 in 4 women get raped while in college. furthermore, 1 in 4 women will be raped in their lifetime. The claim that fathers win custody when they want it and go to court is used by those who oppose fathers rights... furthermore, if it were true, women's groups like NOW would actually be supporting equal parenting, to at least ensure the women who wanted custody would at least get 50/50.

And you are right, most cases are settled out of court. But you can't deny the general belief that the system is biased in favor of mothers plays a part in what a man is willing to accept. After all, if he wants 50/50, and the wife offers him 35% time + a big child support obligation, why would he take it to court only to end up with the standard 25% + bigger child support obligation? He's going to take what he's given if the alternative is big layer fees for less.

The fact is, we will never know for certain how many men are forced out vs how many choose to abandon their children until men are given the same opportunities and considerations women have in family matters IE equality. Once a man can be assured to get equal time with his children after divorce, then we can see how many men choose to be fathers vs how many choose to abandon their kids. But right now, it isn't always their choice, so you can't make any claims about what "THEY" have chosen to do.