Chinese men find mortgages a prerequisite for marriage

i have probably close to a hundred emails in my current in box
from Chinese women wanting to come over and date/marry;
and, would you believe not one has asked me about having a house?

maybe i should bring one of the prettier ones over in mid-Summer and record her
reactions as she is shown into my tent. probably get some laughs outta that.

think she would believe the 'but i'm really a Georgia sheik' line?

couple weeks in that tent and i bet she will kiss the ground when she gets
back to China.

they do sound soooo sweet though, and very bootiful.

Probably unfair--I still think there are a few good women out there--but additional proof women don't marry men--they marry houses and bank accounts.

And they take those things with them when they leave. Women divorce men, but they don't divorce their houses or bank accounts.

While American men are quite familiar with financial slavery after marriage (alimony, child support, outrageous asset divisions at the time of divorce, etc.), Chinese men are now becoming familiar with financial slavery before marriage, in fact before they have even met their future wives. These Chinese guys need to understand the trajectory of marriage and where this institution is taking them. Maybe it's not so bad to be without a wife? Where is the men's movement in China?

In the USA anything purchased before marriage including houses is NOT "marital property" or "community property" neither is inheritance (including cash, property or family business) or gifts. No matter if they are received before or during the marriage. So a pre-owned home is not subject to divorce proceedings. If a man lives in a community property state (which I believe is most of the US) he is best to purchase a home before marriage rather than during marriage. It also helps to have things documented in a pre-nup as to the value of the home and who is responsible for the mortgage payment during the marriage.

During divorce, assets and liabilities (debt) are split 50/50 for all that was acquired during the marriage. If one spouse ends up with the community property house, that spouse probably forfeits other assets or takes on more debt (usually refinances the house, and buys out the ex-spouse's share). If you hear about a spouse getting blah-blah-blah during a divorce, it cannot be worth more than 50% of assets and liabilities. It would be impossible for an outsider to know what really occurred because you would have to have knowledge of the couple's debt and how it was allocated, how much equity they had in the home, etc.

From what I see homes are usually sold during divorce because neither spouse can afford them on their own. Everyone looses when families break up

first, there will probably be children. it locks him in. custody of way over 90% of children automatically go to the woman, says my lawyer. she will always get the house, if it is what she wants. since most young divorcing couples don't have many assets, she will get almost all of them, 'for the benefit of the children'. the judge is not going to give a guy anything that might be used to benefit 'the children'. she will also get child support, based on his income, or potential income. there is no max. amount. it is taken after taxes from him and she owes no taxes for the income. unless it is stipulated in the divorce decree, she will also get to claim the children on her tax forms, automatically. the only time i have ever heard of a man getting to keep his real estate property is if it is completely paid for before marriage, as in mississippi, or if he is rich enough for there to be plenty for all. then his C.S. gets astronomical. women can even come back years after divorce and get more alimony, a cut of his inheritances, and of course more C.$. military guys even have it much worse. x-wives can typically after only a couple years of long ago marriage take a good chunk of his military retirement, as well as his other benefits.

then there could be alimony, and it goes downhill from there.

and let's not forget that the one with primary custody pretty much writes the rules about visitation, and everything else concerning the child(ren). sure, you can get a lawyer. that's exactly why the laws are perverted as they are. repeat business.

make no mistake about it, marriage for men in the u.s. is, to say the least, risky.
there is a very good chance that a person that hates your guts will have complete control of your children, and a goodly part of you future income, forever.

Almost everything you are saying does not match my experience. I even looked up Mississippi law, since you refer to it, and it indicates that pre-marriage property and inheritance are exempt from divorce claims.

Some people exaggerate or want sympathy when they speak of divorce settlements. I take people's testimony with a grain of salt. I always catch people lying (leaving out details) when they speak about this-or-that in a divorce settlement. And every wife I know about that was able to keep the house after divorce had to refinance, in other words, buy-out her ex-spouse and then be able to afford payments on her own (not many can do this - usually a house is sold).

Unless you are aware of a couples debt, equity and negotiation factors, it is impossible to know how a spouse came through a divorce. One spouse could have all the assets, but if they are mortgaged to the hilt, it really doesn't mean anything.

As far as taxes...

My ex gets all tax write offs for our kids. That is what was put in our parenting plan (I was told that most parents agree to every-other tax year). I know several other non-custodial fathers that get the tax benefit every year as well.

And there is no reason for child support money to be taxed twice. No other money is. When a father makes money it is subject to state and federal tax just like all his earned money is. When CS it is given to the mother for the needs of the children, it is just like an intact family where the father is paying for the children's needs himself.

I have also had my child support reduced twice for "change of circumstances". which simply required my ex to submit proof of his reduced income and request a re-calculation of the child support formula. I had to accept the reductions.

Child support is not always fair and the system can be improved, but I know just as many mothers that complain about it.

I don't know anyone that comes out ahead after a family splits