"The Disneyland Daddy" offers toxic view of dad in post-divorce shared parenting scenario

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 2011-01-12 14:02

Article here. Excerpt:

'Mike gets the kids every other weekend and every Wednesday. The kids love going to Dad’s because there are “no rules.” They get to do pretty much whatever they want. Weekends are filled with video games, trips to the mall, pizza and movie outings. And candy. Lots and lots of candy. Wednesday nights are TV nights. The kids never do their homework on Wednesday nights because, after a long day, Mike wants to kick back. He doesn’t want to have to deal with questions about homework. Vicki resents Mike’s free-for-all parenting and calls him “The Disneyland Daddy.”

When Mike drops off the kids at Vicki’s apartment on Sunday night, they are wound up, bubbling about all the things they did with Dad over the weekend and not wanting the fun to end. Within minutes, excitement turns to disrespect, when Vicki asks them to help with chores and get to their homework. They talk back, act out and tune their mother out. Sunday nights with mom turn into screaming matches and tears. The anxiety always spills over into Monday morning, when she has to get the kids out of bed and get to work on time.'

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Comments

Just posted the following comment under the article.

"Mike in the above scenario may or may not have effective parenting skills, but there's always a danger that this will happen when a parent only sees their children for relatively short amount of time. It's like the traditional role of grandparents, where they are not involved with bringing up the children on a day-to-day basis, who spoil them for a day or two, before handing them back to Mum and Dad.

Also, Mike may be deeply insecure about his relationship with the children. If he upsets the kids by not allowing to do what they want and enjoy themselves, he is possibly afraid that Vicki will use this as an excuse to interfere with his access. From the article we cannot tell if Vicki has tried to interfere in the past or if Mike might have any justification for feeling this way, but it is possible.

The ultimate fall-out from this situation might be if, when they are older, the children say that they want to go to live with Mike full-time. If what I've written is correct and ike does have effective parenting skills the children might be in for a rude shock. Tackling this situation must include speaking to Mike, and allaying any fears about adverse consequences if he disciplines the children and family courts must also back him up if the children start complaining (as they surely will at the outset) and Vicki does use this as an excuse to interfere with access."

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Submitted by Malcolm on Thu, 2011-01-13 12:36

I posted something on a similar idea, of Mike not having enough time with the kids to risk alienating them by being anything but the 'fun parent'. I encouraged the idea in the author's final paragraph about having the kids spend more time with their father if they can't behave after coming home. If spending time with dad wasn't a "visit" but actually viewed as parenting, he'd be able to maintain the structure she finds so important. If he tries to make his 1 night a week as structured as her 4, the kids will see no reason to go at all.

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Submitted by ItsDan on Thu, 2011-01-13 13:04

of giving one parent (vastly women) primary custody,

and awarding monetary no limit compen$ation to her to help the child(ren),

you create a master and a bonded servant relationship.

in essence, she holds his title. everything he does until such time as

he purcha$e$ his title back, is influenced by it. you try to date a woman,

she knows somebody else holds your title. you have a serious open ended lien against you.

try to borrow $$$ and you better believe the bank will find out about your title not being clear.

get behind or miss c.$. payments, and you will be treated like your .... well, you get my point.

debtor's prison awaits. not so much for women. this system was designed for women to gain,

and men to pay. and believe, it was designed, by the feminists and the legal scum.

maybe if guys start looking at it like they are handing over the title to themselves, they will start

seeing this system for what it is: a scam designed to eventually strip men of their very manhood.

the proof is there for all to see. been to japan lately? examples of this are everywhere.

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Submitted by daveinga on Sat, 2011-01-15 02:49