Feministing Blog: 'Boys Crisis, Men's Violence Against Women one of the same'

Submitted by anthony on Wed, 2010-04-07 21:44

Article here. Excerpt:

'As I grow within my feminism and begin to zero-in on my niche - working with men to deconstruct issues of masculinity and gender roles, as an alternate solution to ending men's violence against women , I've come to realize the problem with no name is a problem that also plagues men, and sadly, because of social conservatives' tendency to reinforce gender roles, and liberal feminists' tendency to focus on women as a way to promote gender equality, many men and boys are left to fight and deconstruct gender roles on their own. Indeed a crisis among boys and young men does exist, and until feminism begins to admit it is a problem, and more importantly, works to end this crisis, issues of men's violence against women and sexism will always exist, and it affects both women and men.
...
In their struggles to find their place and status within social hierarchies, many men and boys find themselves without a place - a safe space - to talk about and deconstruct those feelings, for patriarchy's constructions of gender roles deem it "weak" for men to speak of their feelings and struggles. Combine this with homophobia and the fear of being "othered," - that is, being labeled anything other than "manly," boys and men find themselves giving in to the social constructions of gender roles, and the result, as we've seen played out in too many scenario here in "developed" nations as well as Global South nations, is men's reinforcement of sexist and misogynistic attitudes, ending parts of the time in not only in the dehumanization of men, themselves, but also the physical and emotional violence against other men - and particularly important in feminist discussions - women.'

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Comments

Finally he is no longer seeing men as the categorical potent force that abuses and dominates women but instead as people who themselves can be abused, used, and as individuals turned into exactly what the rest of the society around them accuses them of being. He offers some explanatory analysis for male violence against women, but has yet to do so for women's violence against men.

I have faith this guy'll come around. He'll make one hell of an MRA one day. :)

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Submitted by Matt on Thu, 2010-04-08 01:11

Honestly, this gives me hope. While it is still blaming classic masculinity, it is a step. The fact that many feminists will read this makes me happy : )

Michael

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Submitted by MrKite on Thu, 2010-04-08 04:32

if I understood correctly he is right!! It is an emergence or requirment to re-define the gender roles and 'a safe space' to boys and men. It doesn't mean there are no circumstances of violence against men by women. It is one of the side of the gender crisis. If we are not ready to talk about mens violence against women, that implicits the violence against men. As I am a man I feel guilty that some men are still doing violence, because it seriously affects all men's dignity.

So we should come to a line to find solution instead of find problems.

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Submitted by radus on Thu, 2010-04-08 06:07

The article said:

    "In their struggles to find their place and status within social hierarchies, many men and boys find themselves without a place - a safe space - to talk about and deconstruct those feelings, for patriarchy's constructions of gender roles deem it "weak" for men to speak of their feelings and struggles."

Oh please. Do you really think that is what men want? To have a place to talk about their feelings? If he really thinks that he is in for a real surprise. Guess what? That is what WOMEN WANT. Seems to me to be the age old mistake of expecting men to be clones of women. Wake up! Men are not women!

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Submitted by Tom on Thu, 2010-04-08 14:28

Anyone who uses social construction theory has no credibility. "Gender" is an absurd concept born out of ideology, which doesn't accurately describe any aspect of human nature. Feminist ideologists make the mistake in thinking social science can give give the same accurate results as natural sciences, it can't. All this talk of "gender roles" and "deconstructing" is designed to influence people to behave according to how an ideology wants. There is no science involved just conjecture and subjective opinion.

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Submitted by Broadsword on Thu, 2010-04-08 16:16

Of COURSE men need a place to talk about their feelings. Knock off the garbage about men needing to be sturdy oaks without emotions. Men have the same emotional needs that women do, and you're being a hindrance to men's rights if you suggest that men should be internalizing all of their problems.

Men's Rights + Women's Rights = HUMAN Rights

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Submitted by Boy Genteel on Thu, 2010-04-08 17:42

manonthestreet

Well I can tell you Tom that I don't want such a place. But I do like to sometimes express my anger and indeed loathing on the comment section of this website. I also reject the idea that I am the same emotionally as a woman. If that was the case women would not want anything to do with men.

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Submitted by trotter on Thu, 2010-04-08 17:58

Men definitely need a place to talk about their concerns. The homophobia anti male bonding thing has also got to go. Men excel after more freely bonding together.

I'm not sure what Tom meant but I expect that men will be different and not clones of women when they freely talk.

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Submitted by fondueguy on Fri, 2010-04-09 03:52

Men have very different ways of processing stress/loss/emotions. Most people simply don't have a clue and expect men to act just as women act and when they fall short of imitating women they blame them as not being good enough "humans". If you are interested in learning about men and their ways of healing you can have a look here. It's the little flash vid near the bottom of the page.

T

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Submitted by Tom on Sat, 2010-04-10 17:39