Globe & Mail's Margaret Wente: Cheating husbands fit for whacking

Submitted by Matt on Fri, 2010-02-12 20:05

Article here. If a woman cheats, no matter what, she should never be assaulted over it, never ever, not even if she is brazen in it -- and that is a good thing; a man being so abused should just leave her without violence. (I am told that in China, men whose wives cheat on them are talked of; they are said to wear a "red hat", and people laugh at them. If anyone can say where this "red hat" image comes from, please post. And we can find many similar cultural values all over the world wherein men are "blamed" for a wife's infidelities, or in most cases, made fun of over it.)

But should a man be unfaithful though, well, he is fit for a good whacking. The offending sentence is at the end of the article, so I state it here: "I desperately hope that one of these days some humiliated spouse will whack the guy with a frying pan. I'd give good money to see that."

G&M contact info: http://v1.theglobeandmail.com/help/contact-paper/
Letters to the Editor: letters-at-globeandmail.com
Based on the "Other Newspaper Staff" heading text, I am also guessing the author's email at the paper is mwente-at-globeandmail.com

Excerpt:

'Toronto city politics are hardly scintillating at the best of times. So we owe a vote of thanks to Adam Giambrone, the brash young mayoral candidate who turned out to be too hot for politics. His was a textbook case of self-immolation. First, he doused himself with gasoline, and then he lit the match. By Wednesday, nothing was left but a greasy smudge on the floor of the council chamber.
...

Did Eliot Spitzer really think his encounters with expensive hookers (after a career of busting prostitution rings) would go forever undetected? Did John Edwards really figure he could keep his flaky girlfriend and their love child a secret while running for the most public job in the world? Did Mr. Giambrone never fret that Ms. Lucas (an aspiring actress, we are told) might get the least bit miffed when he broke the news to her (by text) that he was not living with his family (the excuse he gave for his failure to invite her home), but with another woman? Or that she might enjoy having her assets splashed all over Page 1?

My guess is that such men don't think about these things at all. They are such extreme narcissists (a helpful trait in politics) that no one is ever quite as real to them as they are to themselves. That includes their wives, their children and all the people who have busted their tails on their behalf.
...
Mr. Giambrone, who looked genuinely shattered at his press conference Wednesday, is even attracting a bit of sympathy (though not from me) and his long-suffering girlfriend is standing by him. I desperately hope that one of these days some humiliated spouse will whack the guy with a frying pan. I'd give good money to see that.'

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Comments

This article, which masquerades as a reporting of the facts, is nothing but an opinion piece espousing the typical worn out feminist put-downs of men, the worn-out "men are bad, and women are good" phrases. I'm surprised this would qualify as an article in a newspaper. Of course the author completely ignores the facts, which are that women are cheating just about as often as men these days. For a detailed look into women who cheat on their husbands, see the book called Women's Infidelity, by Mychelle Langley.

Langley reveals why women cheat, and any man who reads this book will be reluctant to commit to any monogamous relationship, let alone marriage. She for example details a typical pattern of female dissatisfaction with men, which of course leads the women to go cheat with someone else. Many women these days are terribly out of touch with the reality of what it's like to be in a long-term successful romantic relationship, and what it takes to have such a relationship work. They prefer to live in their fantasies. The pattern Langley identifies reveals how this process works. Here's a quick overview:

Women's relationships today follow
a very predictable pattern:
They push men for commitment
They get what they want
They lose interest in sex
They become attracted to someone else
They start cheating
They become angry and resentful
They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

[The worst part about this repeating pattern is that men's obligations to the women don't end when the women leave, men must pay alimony and child support for years, perhaps even the life of the woman.]

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Submitted by redwoodwriter on Sat, 2010-02-13 03:33

"..we can find many similar cultural values all over the world wherein men are "blamed" for a wife's infidelities..."

What cultures blame the husband when the wife cheats?

I have always heard of it the other way around (women/girlfriend blamed when man cheats). Not a cultural thing but just generally a guy's excuse when he gets caught cheating. (Here at MANN there are many comments blaming the wife for the husband's cheating.)

As far as Chinese culture and hats: It is a green hat that symbolizes adultery (nothing about blame). It is like an "old wive's tale" that if you wear a green hat, your wife must be commiting adultery. Not taken seriously, but no men wear green hats in China. (answer came from my Chinese friends in Hawaii- where I grew up)

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Submitted by Kris on Sat, 2010-02-13 22:42