Little Girls, College Guys -- and Nervous Parents

There's a lot to be said for pairing people with same-sex tutors. Communication styles, identity formation, etc. There's a reason why the sorcerer's apprentices in the children's stories are all boys when the sorcerers are men, same as for the witch stories told children-- if the witch has an apprentice, she's a little girl.

The problem here is not that the couple seeks a female tutor for their little girl though - it's why they are doing so. They are doing it not because they think it's a good idea from a child-development POV but out of fear that a young man will do bad things to their daughter.

The net result might be the same: the girl gets a female tutor in any case. But as long as men in general are held to be suspicious, even by men who agree that it isn't justified (as this one does), progress for men in terms of us not being seen as evil child-molesters-in-waiting is going to be real hard to come by.

There are some services that you just want a specific gender to perform, and it is unfortunate that we have to do it with a veil of secrecy so we don't upset our politically correct society.

My thoughts on this specific situation is that the girl is more likely to develop a crush on the guy. The article does not give too many details, but if this father is 'stay at home' then I assume he will be home when the tutoring takes place. Does not say the girls age, but I assume she is in high school.

To me it does not seem like a big deal to have a guy tutor his daughter.

My parents were the over-protective type when it came to me and guys, and I don't think it was a good thing.

First of all, I don't recall seeing much in the media in the way of stories such as 'baby-sitter/tutor' molests [whomever], as far back as I can remember. I suppose there have been a couple - like maybe on this board, where women were the perpetrators, but I cannot recall any right off the top of my head.

My main question though is, has anyone actually done a study on this type of thing? How often does it happen.? What is the breakdown by gender percent-wise, for the perpretrator and the victim?

It seems to me everyone goes by the John Walsh mentality: 'most child molestors are men, so hire a woman'. That is faulty logic, however. It reminds me of how in the 70's there were people who would say, 'most heroin users started with pot, so pot-smokers are more likely than other people to go on to use heroin.' It was later discovered to be untrue, and you can spot the faulty logic right off as well.

The Walsh theory can only be valid if it says something like, ".2% of male tutors turn out to be child molestors, and only .1% of female tutors do." Or I suppose you could go by applicants, but that would obviously be less accurate. The point is that you have the verification and screening processes, so really all that doesn't hold up anyway. You are not selecting among the general population - you are selecting among people who have been checked out.

Of course then you get the paranoid people who say, "well...someone could lie, or fool the procedure." But that too would require a study - who historically fools the procedure better, men or women? In fact when you think of it, with the current mentality, a woman molestor would be more easily able to sneak through than a man.

-ax

Well as a college tutor I have to deal with this all of the time. I'm sick as hell of being discriminated against because I'm male.

I'm tired of having no reproductive rights and all of the reproductive responsibilities.

I'm tired of seeing women get all of the benefits traditionally afforded to them by society; but, none of the traditional obligations.

But most of all I'm sick of losing out on more work because of anti-male affirmative action [discrimination] policies at corporations, and discrimination by individuals. If you're discriminated against because you're black or a woman it's illegal; if, you're discriminated against because you're a man it's business as usual.

- Mike Hunter

...the author responds to comments several times and makes mention that the girl is pre-teen ("8-9 or 10") and that there will in fact be no other person present in the home on "several occasions"

Not that I disagree with you that the odds of even a girl that young developing a crush on the tutor are far far grater then the tutor acting inappropriately with the girl, I am merely pointing out that the author himself clarifies some of the facts that people questioned in the comments section of the article.

It must be a nice position to be in life where your biggest concern is whether or not a male Spanish tutor is appropriate for your pre-teen daughter.

Perhaps the less privileged classes spend to much time worrying about keeping the water from getting cut off and food on the table. I know people who are so underprivileged they'd be happy to let the tutor fondle their kid if he/she would tutor them for free so that the child would receive the benefit of receiving a better education and not live an impoverished life. Different priorities I guess. Not that any child should be molested, but you'd be amazed how differently people of different socioeconomic levels feel about the risks such things.

When one has to much time and to much money all that's left to worry about is the boogie man I guess.