Moms reveal why they gave up their children

Submitted by Matt on Thu, 2009-07-30 15:02

Via Jeremy S. Article here. Excerpt:

'Mothers currently retain custody of the children in approximately 70 percent of divorces. But even though that’s the majority, that still leaves a large and growing number of women who do not retain custody.

“The more I talk about it, the more I find that people’s eyes are open to the reality — which is that over 2 million noncustodial moms are in America right now, and it is definitely increasing,” Spicuglia said. “People are recognizing that fathers can be amazing primary caregivers, and we shouldn’t sell men short.”

Spicuglia is one of several women profiled in a Marie Claire magazine article about the growing phenomenon of noncustodial mothers. Joanna Coles, the magazine’s editor-in-chief, said that response to the story has been generally positive.'

From Jeremy S.:

"Mothers currently retain custody of the children in approximately 70 percent of divorces"

Eh? I don't think so?. The 70% figure is not accurate in Canada for sure (94%) and I am doubtful about the USA. I think I can confidently say that in the UK, Australia and New Zealand the mother-custody rate is way over 80%. I am really not exactly sure about US figures but that 70% does not sound right to me. Perhaps our American brothers can set this right? What was especially interesting though was this comment: '“People are recognizing that fathers can be amazing primary caregivers, and we shouldn’t sell men short.”'

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Comments

Generally positive? What would those generally positive people think of a father that doesn't want to be a parent? Oh, wait...we already know.
Ex wife "dumped" 5 year old on me, best thing she ever did for me. She went on to make two more and left them with their father.
I fight for men to have an equal right to choose parenthood. Once a person has chosen, the choice should be irrevocable.
Let Equality flourish, the chips fall where they may.

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Submitted by tonysprout on Thu, 2009-07-30 17:02

... pretend to be young (hah), free and single than devote any time to raising her children.

That's why for the last eight years I've had sole custody of them and have been doing an excellent job (if I say so myself!) of raising two fine young men. Assisted in every way by my wonderful second wife, who's doing a far better job of being their mother than their 'real' mother ever did!

Their 'real' mother deigns to see them about three times a year. If she had her way, she'd see them even less than that...

_________

"They have the right to work wherever they want to - as long as they have dinner ready when you get home." (John Wayne)

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Submitted by Proud_to_be_a_man on Thu, 2009-07-30 18:02

Good for you guys for taking care of your kids. It sounds like you are better off. I have always believed that many men are the better parent compared to the mother. I would like to see fathers get equal or full custody more often.

I know of at least four such incidents where the father has full custody. Three of those cases I know the details, and unfortunately the mothers have drug or alcohol problems and cannot in any way provide a stable home for the kids. In each of those situations, I do not believe that the men are receiving child support.

It may be that they have not asked, or it may be that since the mothers do not work (in rehab or just can't hold a job), that the courts do not go after them as they would if they were male. I also think men are more reluctant to ask for support, or maybe these fathers did and they and were treated unfairly by the courts. I do not know why custodial fathers do not seem to collect the child support owed to them. This needs to change or be fair to both genders if support is going to be overlooked in cases of drug/alcohol addiction or unemployment.

Did either of you collect support from the mothers? I am just curious. No need to answer if you feel the question is too personal.

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Submitted by Kris on Thu, 2009-07-30 20:15

Dr. Baskerville says single mother is most dangerous environment for a child. In fact, the father is needed in part to ensure the mother does not harm the child. It really does say that in his book - no kidding - although I think he words it a little more p.c: "to protect against the excesses of the mother"
-ax

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Submitted by axolotl on Fri, 2009-07-31 04:46

Though I am certainly no expert on issues of child support or child custody, I do have a female relative who willingly gave up custody of her son and much like the people you know never paid child support to the custodial father. This also was likely the result of alcoholism which was a factor in her intermittent employment status. Though she has a new man to support her, she was not as giving to her son. Her mother, the biological grandmother, would send some money directly to him, though not as large sums as child support would have been.

Like I said though, I am no expert and that is the only example of which I am aware and her son is an adult now so this is not really recent and the laws may be different now for all I know in that area. But it does sound similar to the situations your friends are in so there may some truth to your statements in my country as well.

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Submitted by Paragon on Fri, 2009-07-31 10:21

Better with a single dad than a single mom any day.

Strangely, this Rebekah Spicuglia works for Robin Morgan / Steinem /Fonda's Women’s Media Center. Make of that what you will.

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Submitted by MichaelClaymore on Fri, 2009-07-31 23:21