The Abortion Debate: What's the Role of Men?

Submitted by anthony on Sun, 2009-07-26 13:29

Article here. Excerpt:

'I support a woman's right to make that choice, but it still really hurt that she never consulted me beforehand. There were cruelties: around this time she took up with a "friend" of mine, and they were never honest with me about it or the chronology. They eventually married and had one child of which I know. I wish I could say I wish them well, but I am still bitter. Rationally, I know I am better off that I didn't marry such a cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate person. But it still hurts, even 16 years later.

The abortion is just one element in my sad little tale, but I did and do think it was wrong of her to tell me after the fact. At the time, it just made me even more miserable. I'm not saying I had a right to input on the decision, but I think I was due a little consideration.
...
It's unfair, but heterosexual relations are unfair, and a man's responsibility should always be up front: "If you ever get pregnant, I will stand up and meet my responsibilities, period." A woman has to know that, because otherwise she will be hesitant to go through with it. But even though a man has to be willing to follow through just as described, if the woman does want to abort, he has to let her do that, too. Like I said, unfair. Of course, straight couples where the woman goes ahead and has an abortion frequently break up, but, that's another issue.'

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Comments

Abortion: Always a difficult topic for me. I don't have any easy, one-size-fits-all answers especially when it comes to a man's role.

I am always interested in a man's point of view. I especially like to know if a man's opinion on abortion differs in cases of relationships vs. a one-night-stand.

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Submitted by Kris on Mon, 2009-07-27 16:18

What about morning after pills? Should a girl discuss it with a guy before she does that?

(since morning-after pills prevent a FERTILIZED egg from implanting on the uterus, it is a type of abortion)

Does how far along the pregnancy is make any difference? (1 day, 1 month or 4 months?)

Back to traditional abortion:

If people live by the golden rule of "treat others the way you would like to be treated", which basically means to treat people with respect; I would say that if the girl beleives that the man would like to be included in the decision, then she has a moral obligation to tell him.

In the case of a one-night-stand where the guy leaves no number, no follow-up, etc. then she can assume that he does not want to be botherred.

In the case of a girl finding out she's pregnant after a break up, she should know the guy well enough to know if he wants to be included or not. That's a little tough because if he wants to stay with her, he may not give his consent for abortion (not that she needs it, but it is nice for both to be in agreement). Also there is privacy issues as a guy may use his knowledge of the girls abortion to bad-mouth her later. That would always be in the back of a girls mind.

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Submitted by Kris on Tue, 2009-07-28 00:17

I am always looking for the equal view of abortion. The woman does have to carry the baby to term and take all the health risks involved so I honestly do believe that it should be her choice alone to abort or not.

However, men should have the same power to walk away from a mistake as long as the woman has the power. He should be able to "abort" himself from responsibility and paying child support. This decision would have some sort of deadline and will be permanent. The deadline will be after a long enough period of time so the woman can't hide it anymore. I'm just sick of the "he should have kept it in his pants" excuse to pooh-pooh a man's unfair child support obligations. Unless a rape occurred, there was consent in the sex and she is just as responsible.

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Submitted by BinaryShadow on Tue, 2009-07-28 10:05