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"Are more women OK with watching porn?"
Submitted by Matt on Fri, 2009-07-24 18:33
Next time a woman tells you or implies that adult movies are viewed only by men, or almost only by men, send her this. (Among other things, the author, Violet Blue, is a respected sex-advice columnist with the San Francisco Chronicle.) Excerpt:
'In the first three months of 2007, according to Nielsen/NetRatings, approximately one in three visitors to adult entertainment Web sites was female; during the same period, nearly 13 million American women were checking out porn online at least once each month.
Theresa Flynt, vice president of marketing for Hustler video, says that women account for 56 percent of business at her company's video stores. "And the female audience is increasing," she adds. "Women are buying more porn." (They're creating more of it, too: Female director Candida Royalle's hard-core erotic videos, made expressly for women viewers, sell at the rate of approximately 10,000 copies a month.)
...
I've also heard, plenty of times, that porn degrades women. That argument always makes me wonder about gay male porn, which lots of women appreciate for all its hunky hotties in flagrante. If heterosexual porn degrades women, does gay porn degrade men? What about porn made by women -- is that degrading, too?'
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Comments
Great writing style
IMJ, Violet has a great writing style. She is one of the few topical columnists not just in the US but perhaps the world that seems able to write intelligently and cogently on a topic that normally spirals headlong into luridness and distracting digressions.
The more you see porn the
The more you see porn the less effect it has. Women will adopt porn actresses behaviours (This is already happening go to killingkittens.com for an example), which in turn will speed up the declining value of their sexuality. This bodes well for men, since women's sexuality is the fatal flaw that afflicts all men and stops them fighting feminism.
My thoughts on porn
My thoughts on porn:
My background is very conservative. My parents are NOT religious but very prudish when it comes to sex, nudity, etc. They do not believe in pre-marital sex and I do not remember them ever talking to me about the birds and the bees and such.
They sent me to a religious school to get a good education and for the moral standards. This school did give me a good education, but the religion was almost cult-like. I was taught that ONLY married people engaged in sex, and to even let your mind wonder towards sexual thoughts was perverted. I thought that God wanted sex to be between married couples as a way to express love and to create children. I never thought God wanted them to over-enjoy it, therefore toys, porn or outside 'accessories' was forbidden for Christians.
I had a very tough time as I became a teenager because my mind always wonders towards sexual thoughts, and I was becoming aware that most unmarried people were having sex. In high school, I switched mid-year to a public school and received my 'sex education' from my new friends that seemed to be pretty loose.
The good thing about my religious education was that I kept my virginity until I was 19 and waited until I met some one that I was in love with.
So when I was 19 and had my first sexual experience with my boyfriend (BTW, is the father of my 2 kids) I told my girl friend about it and how great the sex was. She suggested that since my boyfriend was older and more experienced that he might be into a little fun; so she took me to a sex shop (this friend is a stripper and dabbles in prostitution, but a good friend none the less). I bought a few things, but one of them was a porn DVD.
That was the start of my porn watching. I told my boyfriend about it over the phone. He was very excited to get back in town. I then started a Friday-night porn tradition. Every Friday we watched a new porno together. I have to say Fridays were the best sex ever. Sometimes we would skip dinner. My only requirement was that they did not involve rape scenes, group sex; and it should be a male/female couple. I don't like to watch degrading or humiliated acts on the woman.
My current attitude about sex toys, porn, and sex in general is that if it feels good, and no one is getting hurt (physically or emotionally) then I think there is nothing unethical about it. I do have a problem with the type of porn that is degrading towards women (degrading acts, humiliating situations, etc.) and exploitive type (like the home-made porn of a young girl obviously drunk or high at a party).
My conscience about watching porn isn't entirely guilt free
Since my views on sex are pretty conservative in all other areas I am probably the last person you would think would watch porn or enjoy sex toys. After all, I taught Sunday School just a few years ago at my church. (that's why porn night was on Friday, so I had a whole day to be good before Sunday mornings).
I still watch porn with my husband. I think it adds to our sexual relationship. One of the reasons I try new things is that I use the rhythm method for birth control, which means that I cannot have sexual intercourse certain times of the month. Most guys would be put off by that and see it as 'no fun' time. But when I explain that we can have fun in other ways and get as nasty as we want, it seems to make up for it.
I never watch porn alone, and I am not really sure how many women watch it. My group of friends don't exactly make up the 'average female' as they are either ultra-conservative religious types or strippers.
This post is pretty long, and I am probably putting in too much personal information about myself. Oh well- sorry if it is too much.
manonthestreet Broadsword is
manonthestreet
Broadsword is right. Sex is a fatal flaw and a weakness that has made men all too easily manipulatable. I don't know if women being more interested in porn will have the effect suggested. To put it crudely I don't know if women becoming more 'degenerate' results in men becoming nobler. I suspect that we may all just go into the mess together.
what about romance novels?
Farrell said they are porn for women, and they objectify men. Some women go through them at a rate of one per week.
-ax
Kris, interesting post. I
Kris, interesting post. I don't think you gave away too much. I'm not too sure the rhythm method is super-reliable, though.
-ax
Sluts
Sluts. Hey the femmiroids would call us debased pigs for looking at porn.
I wonder what the femmiroids would call wimmin looking at porn. Probably something like empowered. More likely they would say it is the fault of the patriarch.
Badger
Lol Ax, I know a few who read more then one a week
Women are and always have been as sexual as men. They are just now becomming more comfortable with admitting it
"I'm not too sure the rhythm
"I'm not too sure the rhythm method is super-reliable, though."
That's probably why I have two kids :)
Porn
I think Broadsword and Trotter are both right.
There is some truth in overexposure to sexually arousing situations that make guys numb and then girls have to go to the next level. Pretty soon girls will loose our sexual power over men. Neither gender will 'win' as we will go down together as Trotter suggested.
My Great Grandma used to ask me what a girl has to do nowadays to turn a guy on. In her day, all a girl had to do is show him a little cleavage and he would get a hard on (her words exactly). But now a guy can go to the mall or beach and see all the tits and ass he wants.
I wonder if this super-sexed society has anything to do with all the erectile dysfunction you hear about?
As I think deeper about it, porn is degrading to all human beings really.
We are all going to 'Hell in a handbasket', as my grandma also used to say.
PS- I have never heard of heterosexual girls watching gay porn!!! They can just watch straight porn to see hunky guys. BTW I'm not sure girls are really turned on by the guys in porn the same way that guys are turned on by the girls. I really do not know of girls watching porn alone or to look at the guys. If girls do watch porn, I think it is with her man and it is getting her man turned on which is what leads to her being turned on.
Kris, lots of girls watch porn alone....
....for the same reason married men don't give up their porn collections.
Women have the advantage for the most part when it comes to sex. When a woman wants to get laid, she can get laid. Simple as that. Men don't have that option. When men want to get laid, usually they can't with a few exceptions. That's one reason men watch porn. Cause for a man, jerking off to porn is as easy as it is for a woman who's horny to say to the nearest guy 'nice shoes wanna fuck? and get laid.
But, despite females having most of the power when it comes to getting laid, they have little control over how good their partner is going to be. In other words, women can get all the sex they want when they want it, bu they can't get they kind of sex they want on demand. That's where porn comes in.
Just as a married guy who's wife likes to fuck but hates giving head, keeps his porn cause he dreams of a good blow job, women who watch porn alone watch the kinds of porn that turn them on in ways they have yet to find in a guy. He might have a big dick but doesn't like to slap her ass. or he may not talk to her the way she likes, or isn't into candles or costumes, or wax or whatever. Women have fantasies to and they are usually pretty elaborate and detailed. Often do much so that it would be unreasonable to expect a real life lover to ever be able to live up to the fantasy. So, that's where pron comes in with all of it's thousands of niches and over the top dramatization of sex and sexuality.
Perhaps it's just the kinds of girl you hang out with, cause I know lots of girls that watch porn. Allot of em like S&M type stuff and all the really elaborate sets and paraphernalia used, and lots of women think Japanese rope bondage is sexy to look at. Different strokes for different folks as they say. But trust me, there are lots and lots of girls who like to indulge in watching others act out their fantasies in porn without the boyfriend in the room.