Scotland: Dani Garavelli: Let our boys be boys

Submitted by anthony on Sat, 2009-05-30 18:39

Article here. Excerpt:

'Sadly, statistics bear out these writers' pessimism. Academically, boys lag behind almost from the day they're born. They are four times more likely to be expelled from nursery, are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and, because they are seen as more demanding, wait twice as long to be adopted in some parts of the UK.

Some of the challenges associated with raising sons are integral to their gender: their surplus energy means they require to be exercised daily, while their desire to avoid meaningful conversation means more effort is required to keep the lines of communication open. Other difficulties are the result of social change – the large number of single parent families means many boys are growing up not only without male role models, but with mothers whose own experiences with men may be negative.'

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Comments

This is so true. Everyone can see that society NEEDS and DEPENDS on male traits, but while growing up, and within the school system, these traits are never valued. How confusing this must be for guys especially as they reach adulthood.

I can't tell you how many people try to tell me how to handle my boys based on their high energy level (why would anyone want to diminish high energy, isn't it a good thing?), or give me snide remarks about boys.

One lady saw my kids running around at the park and she said, "Looks like you need to keep a leash on them". I was like WTF?, we are at the park, they are supposed to be running around!!

People also make comments about how I should not let them have anything to do with guns or fighting. (But when they are adults aren't women and society going to expect them to be protectors?). Weapons and fighting are my boys two favorite things. Instead of curbing this, I teach them responsible behavior when it comes to these things. My boys take martial arts and are one level away from weaponry, which they can hardly wait for. Their grandpa was a high school wrestling coach and their uncle is a amature boxer, so my boys have always been around this kind of stuff.

As long as my kids are polite and considerate of others, I don't care how loud or physical they get.

On the flip side, if my boys get hurt and/or cry, people make comments about how they are too big to be crying (they are 5 years old) or that they need to 'be tough'.

It seems like boys can't win. If they act like boys they are considered unruly, if they show emotion they are considered girly.

I am so hoping to keep my kids out of school next year so I don't have to put up with them being labeled as ADD., but with me working full time, it might be tough.

Also, I am going to look into the article's comment about people being hesitant to adopt boys. As an advocate for adoption, that disturbs me a little bit.

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Submitted by Kris on Mon, 2009-06-01 23:02