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CNN: Why women shouldn't say 'I love you' first
Submitted by anthony on Mon, 2008-12-29 18:04
Article here. Excerpt:
'If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I'll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say "I love you" first.
I'll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it's perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the "L" word, the ball's in the guy's court.
Unlike asking a man out, making a move on him, or even proposing, there's no action-based response to the first "I love you." It's all words, it's all emotion. In that moment, he either loves you back or he doesn't -- you only hear the black or white of a 'yes' or 'no,' not the gray of "Well, I like you a whole lot and I could see myself falling in love with you, but I'm just not quite there yet."
And the truth is, it often takes men longer to get there than it does for women. Men process their emotions more slowly, they're usually more cautious about taking their feelings and relationships to the next level.'
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Comments
manonthestreet If a woman
manonthestreet
If a woman should say 'I love you to me', what I actually hear is 'I OWN YOU'.
True
"And the truth is, it often takes men longer to get there than it does for women. Men process their emotions more slowly, they're usually more cautious about taking their feelings and relationships to the next level."
That's very true, and rightly so. Men have a lot more to risk in a relationship than a woman. A woman can have a new boyfriend in a few minutes, while men actually have to work to have a relationship. We are put under fiercer scrutiny too. Thus we have to be rather careful about who we commit to.
Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!
This is part of what we should try to correct
Well I would hope that is part of what the MRM wishes to correct: that clear disbalance in give and take in intimate relations between men and women. I personally don't just go out with a woman only if she looks good (although a drunk girl at bar who wishes to participate in one night stand might not be refused by me if I can quickly determine that she isn't a psycho), she has to do a whole of a lot more than that. Yes, it does then take some time for me to settle in relationship given my expanded critia by which I judge women, but it's worth it. I find that many women seem irrationally opposed to compromise in relationships. But as a result of their doggedness, I think they suffer emotionally too, because as I might suffer some lonliness, she'll suffer psychologically and emotionally because the dude she's with is only there to treat her as a moist, damp sinkhole which he can get off in and then find an easy escape to the next moist sinkhole. Personally, if I were a woman, I don't think I'd find that very flattering.
I had that discussion with
I had that discussion with someone a few days ago. She used the old stereotype of guys have trouble committing. I pointed out with a divorce rate approaching 50%, perhaps women commit too easily. She didn't really have an answer to that. Nice to make someone speechless. Especially if it makes them think.