Article: "Why Do So Many Men Dread Feb. 14?"

Article here. Excerpt:

'"I think for a lot of men, they just feel so much pressure it really sucks all the enjoyment out of it; it's sort of like your wedding day in a lot of ways," said Lisa Daily, a Sarasota-based dating expert and author. "I think for a lot of people it's a sort of do-or-die day, and instead of judging the relationship on a whole, we judge it on a night, and there's a 15-step process and if you get any of them wrong you're in big trouble.
...
The pressure on men comes from many sources, including the advertisements of jewelers, greeting card companies, florists and chocolate makers. But Daily said the expectations of wives and girlfriends fuel the process.'

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(Excerpt from the article) -- "I think for most women, what they really need is a declaration of your love on that day," Daily said. "Sometimes women sort of will let other things slide, and they want proof on Valentine's Day that men really care for them, really love them, really respect them and can't live without them."

I guess they mean the sperm deposits REALLY were not enough evidence of undying love?

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when i was a younger man it was a sweet day. of course you didn't/couldn't forget the traditional box o'candy and card. no big deal.

but like everything these pampered p%^&*s touch, it has turned into an entitlement. nothing is simple w/ women anymore, or inexpensive, when it is someone elses wallet.

what reciprocrating day do we have where we get expensive stuff and they MUST act like we want them to?

that would be pretty cool really, now that i think about it. call it Conan Sex Day.

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I didn't by anybody anything on Valentine's Day and didn't miss a damned thing.

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Stumbled across this feminist blog where the poster defines Valentine's Day as an insidious patriarchal plot by men to get automatic sex on the cheap. (Excerpt) --

"Join me now, those of you with iron stomachs, as we contemplate the massive pussygrab that is Valentine’s Day. It’s a national mega-bootycall in a paper-lace heart-shaped candy coating. Dudes throw a bundle of plastic-wrapped gas station roses at the straight girls once a year, and the straight girls are supposed to go to pieces over this magnanimous declaration of ‘love’. According to cultural narrative, the macho male is supposedly hardwired to ‘forget’ Valentine’s Day; this is so that even the crappiest box of stale Russell-Stover chocolates will be received with tears of wide-open-beaver gratitude. Overwhelmed that he has actually remembered to observe the cheap valentinian conventions with such clumsy pink-and-red love pantomimes as are prescribed on the great day, the woman’s learned behavior is to obligingly turn out in the Frederick’s of Hollywood stripper drag that properly feted Valentinees are expected to wear, poised for the humpty-hump."

http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2008/02/12/how-cheap-is-your-love/

(PS - She seems a tad bit bitter and unpleasant, though clearly witty and lingual.)

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What we have here is a feminist who has backed herself into a corner through her own hypocrisy.

Whether she realizes it or not, she has equated female expectations on valentine's day with prostitution! Technically, that's what it is. She even kicks it up a notch and complains that women aren't being given enough for the sex. LOL. But she really has no right to complain. If people want to have sex, that's their business.

It's funny how women can find the dumbest things to bitch about. "Oh... he bought me a gift... now I have to put out! Stupid valentine's day! He should just buy me gifts... and I shouldn't have to do a damn thing!" Boy, if that doesn't prove Marc Rudov right, nothing does.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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This is a religious holiday and if you are not a believer, then just say so at the outset.

Just don't support it.

oregon dad

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I just tell my girlfriend that I feel like love should be expressed all year, not this one day, and that's why I don't celebrate it. I have yet to meet a woman with an argument against that.

The great thing is, my girlfriend still wants to celebrate Valentine's Day, so she cooks me dinner, buys me chocolate, and generally pampers me all weekend.

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guess that one didn't like the candy and card. or maybe she never got any...

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I would be very suspicious of a woman that buys you chocolate.

She may be sincere. But it is unlikely.

And "pampering" is legally termed a "contract."

Just a warning of what your romance will become...

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What I'm gonna do next year is I'm going to let my girl know that I'm not going to buy her a gift for valentine's day, because the day itself is nothing more than a shopping holiday created by retailers. However, I'm still going to get her a gift, and tell her that I got it for her because I love her, not because some stupid holiday told me to. This kind of goes with what bryan said. There shouldn't be a designated day to express affection. It should be year round.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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I agree that men should not fall into the Pavlovian response of following the commercial script of companies tring to sell stuff. That is, men are forced to compete to buy ever bigger and more bribes for women. Each year men must out-do each other by being jewelry, cars, etc. The fact that Hallmark and florists want to make money off of you does not mean you have to play along.

But it is weakness and playing the victim to think that you have to opt out as a response.

Instead, you decide exactly what you want to do, because you want to and it is who you are. Let a woman feel you taking charge and being a man. Be romantic. Show her that you care. But do it your way, not playing to the scripts of commercial advertising. Place your own twist on Valentine's Day. If that means going fishing with a picnic basket (assuming she likes the outdoors),then make that a special event. Maybe you like to cook sometime. DO SOMETHING SPECIAL -- but let it be an expression of YOU, not surrender to commercial advertising.

NO matter how much a woman complains, she really wants to feel you being a man. She would like you to DO something -- as a real man.

But she may have to deal with the expectations of her friends. She wants (needs) bragging rights among her girl friends. If her girl friends got expensive jewelry, and she is siting there seeming like a loser, she may feel upset. So you may have to talk to her first and say you aren't going to fall for commercial advertising. The day is about you and her, not a retail marketing strategy.

These relate to things I wrote about in my book, the Manual on Women, to help men avoid cultural traps.

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Show her that you care. But do it your way, not playing to the scripts of commercial advertising. Place your own twist on Valentine's Day. If that means going fishing with a picnic basket (assuming she likes the outdoors),then make that a special event. Maybe you like to cook sometime. DO SOMETHING SPECIAL -- but let it be an expression of YOU, not surrender to commercial advertising.

NO matter how much a woman complains, she really wants to feel you being a man. She would like you to DO something -- as a real man.

But she may have to deal with the expectations of her friends. She wants (needs) bragging rights among her girl friends. If her girl friends got expensive jewelry, and she is siting there seeming like a loser, she may feel upset. So you may have to talk to her first and say you aren't going to fall for commercial advertising. The day is about you and her, not a retail marketing strategy.

Out of that entire long-winded post I saw NOTHING about women reciprocating. In other words, your "manual on women" is the same bend over backwards for women bullshit that men have been seeing for years.

She doesn't need bragging rights, she needs to grow the fuck up. Men aren't here to cater to women's juvenile social rules.

----------
Mr. Reality's new story - Sir Alan: Why I have to think twice before employing a woman

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...go from being a mutual exchange to a unilateral one?

Probably around the age that girls experience their first period and moms give them the "you're a woman" talk. Think, before roughly that age boys and girls exchange Valentine gifts.

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I am 100% in agreement with MrReality's comment directly above.

That is calling bullshit with total honesty about a fraudulent version of masculinity.

(The metrosexual poster) - "NO matter how much a woman complains, she really wants to feel you being a man. She would like you to DO something -- as a real man."

DO = spends money on her, right?

DO = be a pussy-whipped idiot who has to demonstrate his servility?

ETC. (Add your own silly examples....)

Every time I read the phrase "real man" ....

I smell a troll.

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But if it is never reciprocated, why the hell would you want to stay in the relationship anyway? Thus, I can kind of agree with what ManualOnWomen as well as what MrR and Roy said. I'm on the borderline.

I'm still going to do stuff around Valentine's Day, but not because it's Valentine's Day. Just for the sake of doing it. I'm certainly not going to buy stuff just because I'm expected to. I'll do it because I want to.

And at the same time, if none of this is ever reciprocated, I'm going to move on to a new woman. That's one thing men need to realize. If a woman treats them like garbage, they can find a new and better woman. Why have hamburger when you can have steak? As long as us men refuse to put up with double standard BS, we'll never get trapped in a relationship full of said BS. That's a stance we all gotta take.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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I don't mind if you don't agree with what I had to say, or that you would even give my last post a title such as "worst post ever". You know why? I knew it was just a matter of time until you started to harp on me the way you do other members of this board. I don't care. I know you too well to let it upset me.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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Why? He makes sense and is not trying to find excuses to keep celebrating something that is obviously slanted towards women and then claim men should be out going through the majority of skanks looking for a "good woman." That's a fool's quest. As he said "you can choose to not play the game." You haven't learned that yet. Maybe you will in the future I don't know..

I wish you luck on your useless journey. Pucker up, because you'll be kissing alot of *** every Valentine's Day.

Also, Please leave the unrelated catty comments(i.e. I knew you would come after me, I know you and all of this other "two snaps in a circle" bullshit) on the "Advice Goddess" messageboards. I don't have time for it.

@Roy I completely agree with your "south side rules" post as that is how you and I usually relate on these boards.

Mr. Reality's new story - Sir Alan: Why I have to think twice before employing a woman

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I don't think you guys understood what I meant. I'm saying that I'm against Valentine's Day. I'm not going to celebrate it. But I will express my affection towards my woman at an appropriate time far away from Valentine's Day. It will be my way of showing her that I'm against the commercialism and misandry invovled in Valentine's Day, but I'm not against expressing affection. I finally have a woman that believes in reciprocation, so it won't do me any harm. That's all I meant. I'm not gonna buy her diamonds or something retardedly expensive either. Try maybe like a five buck box of chocolates. Technically, I do agree with you on this. F*** Valentine's Day!

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

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