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by Anonymous User on Monday February 10, @03:49PM EST (#1)
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Friends:
It's been a long time since I paid for a date, and I've only had one female in my lifetime that ever offered to pay for a date. We men have inherited a set of rules that are outdated and should no longer apply.
Before I go any further let me say that I do not believe that all females are "squirrely," and out to confuse, deceive, and exploit men, but it sometimes appears to me that I must be a bit of a squirrely girl magnet, judging by my past experiences. I would like to tell myself that "opposites attract," but I fear some people may counter with "squirrels of a feather..."
All that being said, I think it is clear to most, that we men today desperately need to establish some new dating and relations rituals with the members of the opposite sex. With new events like V-Day coming culturally on line more and more we Western men live in an “unprecedented, man hating, hostile environment.” Therefore, I am proposing the following 1st step as an exercise to help liberate our minds of all that harmful past conditioning and all the dangerous squirrely misandry that keeps popping up:
As a two time divorcee, for this V Day (used to be Valentine's Day), I'm getting one of those lawn ornament plastic squirrels and hanging a bag of cashews (nuts) around its neck. Considering that V-day is now a ritual, I think that every man should adopt this new symbolic counter-ritual that I've devised. If you make it through the day, and no real live squirrel breaks into your house, mugs the plastic lawn ornament and takes the nuts, you can treat yourself by taking back your symbolic nuts the day after V-day. The message in this silly new ritual is, "Guard your symbolic nuts (male rights) before the squirrels steal them for good and permanently turn you into a fem-boy squirrel.
NOW the questions remains, which group of females do I tend to think behave like squirrels and want to punish men for being men? Hummmmm??? Here’s a hint, even real live squirrels have more common sense then they do.
Having parodied V-Day, and the Vagina Monologue, "I have to go now," and end this gonad monologue.
Not so Seriously, Ray
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On the not so serious subject, my friend from CA just came up with "steak and BJ day", about a month after V day. He thought it would inspire men to be more romantic if they knew women would reciprocate. ;-)
Of course, since we really don't celebratate V-Day in our house, poor Dave would get the shaft on this one....or not ;-)
Jen
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What if one is really not that fond of BJ's?
Can I get that steak with dessert instead?
* MB
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/* Not All Men Are Fools -- Some Are Martian Bachelors
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> I do not believe that all females
> are "squirrely," and out to confuse,
> deceive, and exploit men...
But what if there's good reason for believing those very characteristics have been hardwired into them by evolution? (for reasons which I don't have time or space to go into here)
Maybe it's not just a string of bad luck and you should go with your male intuition on this.
* MB
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/* Not All Men Are Fools -- Some Are Martian Bachelors
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While there are good arguments for instinct, it is not enough. Males have instincts as well, but we are held accountable, so too should the female of the species. It has to do with training, and education. I refuse to excuse the females of the species behavior due to instincts. That, in and of it self would be discrimination. Because, if one were to excuse them, they would also be saying that they were not capable of controlling themselves. Equality means equal responsability, and it is about time that they owned up to it. Both here, and on Mars.
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