Domestic Violence Delusions…a PBS documelodrama - Part 1 of 3

Part 1 of a 3-part essay, submitted by Harry Crouch. Click "Read more..." for the text.

The author is a full time men's rights activist, co-proprietor of MENSBIZ, publisher of Women Industry News, member of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council, and Board Member of the National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles.

At his request, if you e-mail him, please use "re KPBS Documelodrama" as the subject line.

The evening of Wednesday, December 8, was reserved for the screening Breaking the Silence, Journeys of Hope, a new PBS documentary produced by KPBS, which operates from a large plush building on the main campus of San Diego State University, the home of the first women's studies program in the United States.

The documentary was co-sponsored by The Waite Family Foundation, which funds many of San Diego family violence related events and organizations, including $125,000 of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council’s annual budget.

I walked into a party of sorts, thought I was in the wrong room; there was a stage, couple of podiums, nice chairs in neat rows, display tables filled with literature, and lots of good eats. There were all sorts of finger foods, including shrimp, pot-stickers, veggies, egg-rolls… Gourmet stuff, not that frozen in the box deep-fry. I guess the cash strapped domestic violence industry does better than they let on.

Thirty or forty people surrounded the food table, others gathered to talk, and more sauntered in. Someone was singing and strumming cords on a guitar. Maybe it was a wedding and I made a wrong turn. Nope, I spotted some DV industry operatives I knew. I brought a selection of brochures and put them conspicuously on a display table by the door. I really needed a cup of coffee, found it, and surveyed the room for allies. I spotted one, but not the one I had come with, Albert Schafer, a rehab therapist case manager and President of The Coalition of Parent Support. Albert was already lost lobbying somewhere in the growing crowd.

The coffee was decent. I grabbed a pot-sticker. Then, it hit me like a ton of frivolous restraining orders. One of men’s rights activist allies recently had to beg a local shelter for a hotel voucher for an abused man looking for a safe place to hide from his violent wife. Initially, the shelter refused. After more begging, the activist was able to secure a voucher for a roach motel. I imagined a junkie crash pad, mold in the walls comforting rats, and unwashed, stained sheets on a lumpy bed with squeaky, broken, box springs. The next day the advocate begged for a better and safer room for the abused man. The shelter relented and coughed up three days rent for a room minus my imagined roaches, mold, rats, and stained sheets. Here I was sucking down a fancy pot-sticker. I wanted to spit it out, but that would have been tacky, plus it was tasty. I ate nothing more, guzzled my coffee, and wondered how many hotel vouchers could have been bought instead of the gourmet frilly food. What a waste of supposedly precious resources. There must be an abuse excuse for that to… They should always have coffee.

One of the event’s opening speakers was a young woman from the Waite Family Foundation. After a few comments, she announced that 95% of all domestic violence perpetrators are men. Truth aside, the young woman delivered the party line straight faced like other victimhood party operatives. Her research apparently overlooked the recent assessment of domestic violence resources in San Diego. The County Office of Violence and Crime Prevention conducted the assessment and found that women accounted for 24% of domestic violence arrests, which is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, as most reputable family violence researchers and cops know.

Virtually every California police officer I have asked about male versus female aggressors, perhaps a 100 or so, gave roughly the same answer; about 50/50 with up to a 10% or less variance one way or the other.

Interestingly, I witnessed a San Diego Police Domestic Violence Unit Investigator announce the 95% myth in a training that I recently attended, and one Queen of Denial Long Beach Sergeant Sheriff’s deputy had never, ever, not once, heard of a woman perp. Hmm… Long Beach and San Diego must be safe places for heterosexual men and lesbians, which they are not, or the good Sergeant and SDPD Investigator work part-time in the misinformation office of the National Organization of Women.

Of course, the industry wants people to believe western women are still oppressed and suffer horrendous abuse simply because they are women. I wondered if they ever considered that men die six years earlier, suffer almost all work related deaths and injuries, die by the thousands in war, suffer the most alcoholism, and commit suicide 10 times more than women when intimate relationships end. Unfortunately, the male bias in the abuse industry directly contributes to the premature death of men, particularly suicides. Even so, everyone knows victims cannot be blamed, except for men, and, to reiterate, there is no excuse for abuse, except for women; hence, long live the 95% myth.

A local who’s who of San Diego’s domestic violence industry insiders comprise the Advisory Board of the KPBS Domestic Violence Awareness Campaign, a subcommittee of which appears to have guided the production of the documentary. However, none of the Who’s Who seemed to know the first thing about, or at least care about, male recipients of domestic abuse, unless they are gay.

Radical feminism’s influence on KPBS, local domestic violence industry operatives, and the industry’s disregard for heterosexual males came through loud and clear in what was shown of the documentary. Such bias permeates KPBS’s domestic violence campaign’s “Someone You Know Needs Help” website too. “Someone,” being women of course.

The website has sound bites like, “…teaching young boys that violence against women and children is wrong” and “…half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under the age of 12.” There is not one word I could find about teaching young girls that violence against men and women is wrong, so I guess female perpetrated violence is Ok, if not promoted, excuse or no excuse. The first sound bite, by omission, also implies it is fine if boys learn that violence against men is Ok. Moreover, I wonder which households the millions of abused men and boys live in, apparently none with children under 12? The link “Learn the Facts,” reveals a short list of me-ism Gender Feminist statistics with not one mention of an abused man or boy, like we only exist to beat women and deserve no further consideration. Violence is a high price to pay for ignorance, politics, and ideology.

The documentary is stale, rehashed, and stereotypical pandering propaganda. It has standard tear-jerk stories of beaten women, followed by a white heterosexual man’s rendition of life as a reformed woman beater. The film has a well-known actor, perhaps Hispanic, telling young school children about his saga growing up with an abusive father and beating bad dad into a fetal position until he blubbered like an idiot, just before our actor roll model ran away to find fame and fortune in Hollywood.

With all the Law degrees and PhDs on the documentary subcommittee, one would think the slightest degree of fair and original thinking might shine through. However, the documentary is the same old gender biased stuff; bashing bad man breeders of European descent. It is just repackaged, in another, "We refuse to talk about women who kick, maim, and kill" documelodrama.

How do these professionals, some with graduate degrees in child psychology and family counseling, justify showing such incomplete and misleading drivel to children who may go home every afternoon from school, only to be beaten bloody by a drug addicted, alcoholic, or personality disordered mother?

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow.

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