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Domestic Violence Delusions…a PBS documelodrama
The evening of Wednesday, December 8, was reserved for the screening Breaking the Silence, Journeys of Hope, a new PBS documentary produced by KPBS, which operates from a large plush building on the main campus of San Diego State University, the home of the first women's studies program in the United States.
The documentary was co-sponsored by The Waite Family Foundation, which funds many of San Diego family violence related events and organizations, including $125,000 of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council’s annual budget.
I walked into a party of sorts, thought I was in the wrong room; there was a stage, couple of podiums, nice chairs in neat rows, display tables filled with literature, and lots of good eats. There were all sorts of finger foods, including shrimp, pot-stickers, veggies, egg-rolls… Gourmet stuff, not that frozen in the box deep-fry. I guess the cash strapped domestic violence industry does better than they let on.
Thirty or forty people surrounded the food table, others gathered to talk, and more sauntered in. Someone was singing and strumming cords on a guitar. Maybe it was a wedding and I made a wrong turn. Nope, I spotted some DV industry operatives I knew. I brought a selection of brochures and put them conspicuously on a display table by the door. I really needed a cup of coffee, found it, and surveyed the room for allies. I spotted one, but not the one I had come with, Albert Schafer, a rehab therapist case manager and President of The Coalition of Parent Support. Albert was already lost lobbying somewhere in the growing crowd.
The coffee was decent. I grabbed a pot-sticker. Then, it hit me like a ton of frivolous restraining orders. One of men’s rights activist allies recently had to beg a local shelter for a hotel voucher for an abused man looking for a safe place to hide from his violent wife. Initially, the shelter refused. After more begging, the activist was able to secure a voucher for a roach motel. I imagined a junkie crash pad, mold in the walls comforting rats, and unwashed, stained sheets on a lumpy bed with squeaky, broken, box springs. The next day the advocate begged for a better and safer room for the abused man. The shelter relented and coughed up three days rent for a room minus my imagined roaches, mold, rats, and stained sheets. Here I was sucking down a fancy pot-sticker. I wanted to spit it out, but that would have been tacky, plus it was tasty. I ate nothing more, guzzled my coffee, and wondered how many hotel vouchers could have been bought instead of the gourmet frilly food. What a waste of supposedly precious resources. There must be an abuse excuse for that to… They should always have coffee.
One of the event’s opening speakers was a young woman from the Waite Family Foundation. After a few comments, she announced that 95% of all domestic violence perpetrators are men. Truth aside, the young woman delivered the party line straight faced like other victimhood party operatives. Her research apparently overlooked the recent assessment of domestic violence resources in San Diego. The County Office of Violence and Crime Prevention conducted the assessment and found that women accounted for 24% of domestic violence arrests, which is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, as most reputable family violence researchers and cops know.
Virtually every California police officer I have asked about male versus female aggressors, perhaps a 100 or so, gave roughly the same answer; about 50/50 with up to a 10% or less variance one way or the other.
Interestingly, I witnessed a San Diego Police Domestic Violence Unit Investigator announce the 95% myth in a training that I recently attended, and one Queen of Denial Long Beach Sergeant Sheriff’s deputy had never, ever, not once, heard of a woman perp. Hmm… Long Beach and San Diego must be safe places for heterosexual men and lesbians, which they are not, or the good Sergeant and SDPD Investigator work part-time in the misinformation office of the National Organization of Women.
Of course, the industry wants people to believe western women are still oppressed and suffer horrendous abuse simply because they are women. I wondered if they ever considered that men die six years earlier, suffer almost all work related deaths and injuries, die by the thousands in war, suffer the most alcoholism, and commit suicide 10 times more than women when intimate relationships end. Unfortunately, the male bias in the abuse industry directly contributes to the premature death of men, particularly suicides. Even so, everyone knows victims cannot be blamed, except for men, and, to reiterate, there is no excuse for abuse, except for women; hence, long live the 95% myth.
A local who’s who of San Diego’s domestic violence industry insiders comprise the Advisory Board of the KPBS Domestic Violence Awareness Campaign, a subcommittee of which appears to have guided the production of the documentary. However, none of the Who’s Who seemed to know the first thing about, or at least care about, male recipients of domestic abuse, unless they are gay.
Radical feminism’s influence on KPBS, local domestic violence industry operatives, and the industry’s disregard for heterosexual males came through loud and clear in what was shown of the documentary. Such bias permeates KPBS’s domestic violence campaign’s “Someone You Know Needs Help” website too. “Someone,” being women of course.
The website has sound bites like, “…teaching young boys that violence against women and children is wrong” and “…half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under the age of 12.” There is not one word I could find about teaching young girls that violence against men and women is wrong, so I guess female perpetrated violence is Ok, if not promoted, excuse or no excuse. The first sound bite, by omission, also implies it is fine if boys learn that violence against men is Ok. Moreover, I wonder which households the millions of abused men and boys live in, apparently none with children under 12? The link “Learn the Facts,” reveals a short list of me-ism Gender Feminist statistics with not one mention of an abused man or boy, like we only exist to beat women and deserve no further consideration. Violence is a high price to pay for ignorance, politics, and ideology.
The documentary is stale, rehashed, and stereotypical pandering propaganda. It has standard tear-jerk stories of beaten women, followed by a white heterosexual man’s rendition of life as a reformed woman beater. The film has a well-known actor, perhaps Hispanic, telling young school children about his saga growing up with an abusive father and beating bad dad into a fetal position until he blubbered like an idiot, just before our actor roll model ran away to find fame and fortune in Hollywood.
With all the Law degrees and PhDs on the documentary subcommittee, one would think the slightest degree of fair and original thinking might shine through. However, the documentary is the same old gender biased stuff; bashing bad man breeders of European descent. It is just repackaged, in another, "We refuse to talk about women who kick, maim, and kill" documelodrama.
How do these professionals, some with graduate degrees in child psychology and family counseling, justify showing such incomplete and misleading drivel to children who may go home every afternoon from school, only to be beaten bloody by a drug addicted, alcoholic, or personality disordered mother?
Part 2 will be posted tomorrow.
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This discussion has been archived.
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With all respects to mister Harry Crouch, but if he is a full time men's rights activist, what is he doing in an organization like the San Diego Domestic Violence Council? On their website I read the following;
"Statistics on the prevalence of domestic violence are staggering. A woman is beaten by her intimate partner every fifteen seconds. More than 4,000 women have been beaten to death annually by their partners and 3.3 to 10 million children in the United States witness domestic violence in their home yearly. Six children in every classroom witness domestic violence and four of these six children are direct victims of abuse and/or neglect. Fifty percent of men who beat their partners also batter their children.
Violence usually escalates over time, leading in some instances to homicide. Women are trapped by a number of economic, social, religious, cultural, and emotional barriers in relationships with partners who are usually expert at convincing a woman that "it will never happen again." Fear is the number one trap. Women are in the most danger when leaving the batterer. FBI statistics stated that 30 percent of female homicide victims are killed by intimate partners."
And this;
"Tips on How to help a Friend who’s in an Abusive Relationship
Tell her it's not her fault. You can never make someone else hurt you.
Tell her she doesn't deserve it. No one ever deserves to be hurt.
Tell her .....and so on.....and so on....."
This sounds to me like the usual feminazi crap, and in my opinion SDDVC is not a place for a men's rights activist to be.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by dschmidt on 05:27 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#2)
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I've met Harry (at the last NCFM board face2face), and regularly receive his email "publications."
Harry is not afraid of a little confrontation to further our causes. He regularly goes about town with numerous issue bumper stickers like "There's no excuse for abuse--unless your a woman." He has been known to go to the local mall with T-shirts emblazoned with similar sayings, just to raise a ruckus and, thereby, awareness.
I fully suspect his attendance with this organization was with similar intent to incite, not to join and gently sway.
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by Anonymous User on 05:55 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#3)
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Harry is a member of that council so he can make changes. He's up against way too many of them to change everything at once, but he has made incredible gains there behind the scenes. For example, he got the County of San Diego to include a "men's rights focus group" as one of their workgroups. Warren Farrell, myself, and about 10 other men's activists were there. Consequently, they did more research into the data and found that 25% of the victims who were calling police for help were men. They now have that in an official county handout, which the feminists didn't want. The entire DV council was then told by the workgroup leaders, "those of you who are saying 95% of the victims are women, it's not true." This is only one small example of the things Harry has done. He also got NCFM-LA to be able to set up a table at the DV conference even after the L.A. feminists got NCFM-LA blocked from being able to do so. And, at the conference, he got them to put up some male images to represent male victims in the "silent victim" program, which up until then had nothing but female images. Harry has done so much more it is unbelievable. But he only has a few allies there, and he has to work at it, so he has to do things a little at a time. People who are on the front lines know what I'm talking about. People who only talk on websites often do not. It will take activism like Harry's to make a difference. We now have a full time activist in CA working from the top down, and one full time activist (Harry) working from the bottom up. This will still take time, but progress is happening, and the feminists do not like it.
Marc
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by Anonymous User on 06:40 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#4)
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'and the feminists do not like it.'
sounds good to me
p. george
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I believe every word you say Marc since you're on the front lines and I am just a "website talker" who knows nothing, as you put it. But I still think it's strange that I see nothing of Harry's incredible gains on the SDDVC website.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 07:19 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#6)
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"But I still think it's strange that I see nothing of Harry's incredible gains on the SDDVC website."
I long for that day. I expect it will take some time. The council probably has 100 or more members, and Harry is one person who is fighting a strong current over there.
"I believe every word you say Marc since you're on the front lines and I am just a "website talker" who knows nothing, as you put it."
I wasn't calling *you* a mere website-talker Bert (I really don't know who is or who isn't), and I didn't read your post as an attack on Harry either, only a sincere inquiry and an understandable one given the femi-stats all over that website (which I'm glad you shared). I'd wonder the same thing if I didn't know Harry. But trust me he is very much one of us, and he's one of the best activists we have in CA. NCFM-LA just gave him a small grant to keep him sustained while he does his work. And he is working on getting funding for NCFM-LA to operate more effectively.
BTW we *need* website talkers and the last thing I would want is to discourage it. It helps get info out, helps us inform each other, builds relationships, fuels activism, and helps us get through the times. But we do need much more, and we need to understand the struggles of those on the front lines, many of whom are unknown and don't get recognized or heard of much. Harry is just one of them, of course.
Marc
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by Roy on 07:23 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#7)
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It's not surprising that the SDDVC web site has not corrected its feminist facade.
Profiting from lies, ignoring all known social science on DV, and marching to the radical feminazi line have become wildly profitable BANK to these misandrist hate-mongers!
Do not expect feminist ideologues to ever change their stripes, until LEGAL POWER compels it.
To do so threatens their profits, their self-esteem, and their very identities.
MRA's appreciate the "top-down + bottom-up" strategies that have to be employed to reform and eventually overcome feminazi tyrannies.
Any man who has the "stones" to wear an anti-feminist T-shirt in a shopping mall, and put MRA bumper stickers on his vehicle, deserves support, and commendations.
Every such individual expression is a little chip away at the Feminist Inc. empire... and a signal for others to pay attention.
And in time, the vile fem-propaganda web sites will have to adapt, publish truth, or be forced out of business.
"It's a terrible thing ... living in fear."
- Roy: hunted replicant, Blade Runner
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by LSBeene on 07:59 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#8)
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Marc,
Hey buddy! I wrote Harry a letter after reading this piece he did on iFeminists telling him I thought his actions were courageous and hoping to hear more.
I told him how I had joined NCFM-LA and I also signed up for this SDDV-C. I also, in the letter, offered to be more active (despite me living in Alaska) and told him I welcomed any chance that he (or you - hint hint!) could get me more involved.
I think Harry's doing just fine. Those stats were a good thing to bring up and be addressed.
Go Harry!
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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by Anonymous User on 02:15 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#19)
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Steven, we got your membership, thanks! Sorry if it's taking time to process, we're all volunteers. You might consider starting an NCFM chapter (or some other group if you want) in your area, unless there already is a group of some kind that you can join there. You've got my email, contact me about joining the chapter egroup. We're happy to have you.
Marc
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by Anonymous User on 08:26 PM December 29th, 2004 EST (#9)
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After the patient way I've seen Harry present the facts to hard core feminists in the domestic violence movement I'd say he's okay, and I wish we had more guys like him.
Those stats you see from the SDDVC are truly an indication of what he's up against and not an indication of his ideology.
This may come as a shock, but within the SDDVC he is not loved by all. I'd even say there are some who've ground more than a little tooth enamel down, while listening to Harry. Yep, some of them have a real problem handling the truth about domestic violence when Harry presents it to them.
Ray
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by LSBeene on 01:25 AM December 30th, 2004 EST (#10)
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Well said Ray.
He's "fighting the good fight" and takes a pounding for it.
I just got an E-mail back from him (he was very nice!) and he's doing what he can. Can we, BBS warriors not see that?
I openly and publically thank Harry for doing what I wish I could
Hoo - Ahh
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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Marc wrote I wasn't calling *you* a mere website-talker Bert (I really don't know who is or who isn't)
This is what you said in respond to my post;
People who are on the front lines know what I'm talking about. People who only talk on websites often do not.
As you maybe know, we Dutch have some experience with people being member of wrong organizations. They all claimed to be good citizens and they did it for the benefit of our beloved country. But the fact is, they were members of nazi organizations and they did collaborate with the nazis to put the Jews into concentration-camps.
So maybe you can understand that I'm a littlle suspicious when I read about a guy who claims to be a men's rights activist, while in the same time he is a member of a misandrist-organization like the SDDVC.
But since all you guys seem to know mister Harry Crouch very well, I guess he's doing right. I really do hope for you.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 07:59 AM December 30th, 2004 EST (#12)
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The rest of the aritcle goes into more detail of the event. It's a real challenge to work to change the established domestic violence movement. It's also great to get this kind of inside look into the activities of that group from the perspective of a MRA. Harry writes in a pretty free wheeling style, but is really very disciplined in his approach to being a valuable "check and balance" to this movement that has so little accountability.
As we all know, getting that group to change to recognize male victims of d.v. and female batterers is like trying to swim with an anchor tied to your leg.
Ray
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Yeah right. But I assume mister Harry Crouch is a member of SDDVC for more then a few days, maybe even more than a few years. So tell me, if he is doing such a great job, how comes that this misandrist organization still shows the same old feminazi crap on their website? You have to give me a little more than just nice words about mister Harry Crouch to convince me.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by Clancy
(long_ponytail@yahoo.com)
on 11:42 AM December 30th, 2004 EST (#14)
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Jesus Christ, Bert. Give the guy a break. Try walking a mile in his moccasins. When it's just ONE person against MANY, do you really expect overnight success? Several years is nothing when you consider how long it has taken to FIRMLY establish the lies that prop up this organization. I'd compare Harry's efforts to trying to dig a 500 yard tunnel with a rock hammer.
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Clancy? Let me take a guess, you are female?
Bert
--------------------
From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 02:43 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#22)
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"Bert
-------------------- From now on, men's rights first."
We are clearly all on the same side here. At one time or another we all dig a little deeper in order to have a good understanding of the facts.
Ray
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by Clancy
(long_ponytail@yahoo.com)
on 03:46 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#24)
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Hey Bert, I don't have to guess. You are a female. Always BITCHING. Instead of vilifying Harry, why don't you join him in his efforts. Then you can speak first hand as to whether Harry is blowing smoke or doing the good deed. But then you'd actually have to DO something besides criticize.
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It just occured to me that maybe some of the confusion here is because it isn't clear that this council Harry joined is a government-run entity, not a private organization. If it appeared as though this was a private group, then I can especially understand the suspicion, because that would like joining the local chapter of NOW. Harry would not join a private feminist group. He made himself a member of a government council on DV that, like most of them, happens to be feminist-dominated. One way to change that is to bring men's rights activists into the committees.
This is the first answer that makes things clear. Thanks Marc.
Hey Bert, I don't have to guess. You are a female. Always BITCHING.
Wel Mrs Clancy, why is this answer not surprising me? Exactly what is to be expected from a so-called "men-friendly" female. Speaking of wolves in sheep's clothing.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by Clancy
(long_ponytail@yahoo.com)
on 05:05 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#26)
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BWAAA HAAA HAAAA. I nearly blew chunks on my monitor when I read your last, er, last... what? Why Rhett, how ever did you find me out? I live in Wylie, Texas. I'll give you the address if you'd care to come by and ask me out on a date. You sound like such a hunk. Well, I guess I started all of this by calling on the name of Jesus Christ, Bert. At the rate I'm going, I'll have more enemies than friends in no time flat and I'll soon need a flame retardant suit. I must resolve to stay on topic lest I get booted. But, hey, you wouldn't do that to a lady, would you? To the moderators, I promise to do better and I'm really not a woman. I mean, I DID have the operation.
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lest I get booted. But, hey, you wouldn't do that to a lady, would you?
If I were you I wouldn't be so sure of that Mrs Clancy Long Ponytail.(nice name BTW, I really mean that) On the other hand, it takes a lot of money to get to Wylie, Texas, so maybe you are lucky. But just maybe.
Well, you had your fun, (at least I hope so) now let's get back to men's rights, if you can do that.
Bert
--------------------
From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 02:40 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#21)
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"how comes that this misandrist organization still shows the same old feminazi crap on their website?"
Excellent question, and one that shows the relative powerlessness of MRA's in groups like that. Harry is considered an "outsider" to most in that group, and is working hard to have an influence on that group. He has given away scores, yes scores of "Domestic Violence: The Twelve Things You Aren't Suppossed to Know" by Thomas James.
Get a copy here:
Domestic Violence: The Twelve Things You Aren't Supposed to Know
I'm sure you will get a better understanding of who Harry is, when the rest of his article is published. In the mean time go ahead and challenge him. It is wise to be cautious if you are an MRA. A true MRA must always be ready to give an answer for the facts as they pertain to inequities and disparities that men are assailed with. It is wise to be cautious. MRA's should always be cautious about the possibility of MRA wolves who may be dressed in sheep's clothing, seeking to harm and exploit innocent men for the sake of their own aggrandizement. There are plenty of those kinds of men (and women) in our society. They are called politicians, among other things.
Ray
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by The_Beedle on 11:48 AM December 30th, 2004 EST (#15)
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As you maybe know, we Dutch have some experience with people being member of wrong organizations. They all claimed to be good citizens and they did it for the benefit of our beloved country. But the fact is, they were members of nazi organizations and they did collaborate with the nazis to put the Jews into concentration-camps.
Dutch Jews joined nazi organizations and stood up in their meetings to state publically that what was being done was wrong? Nothing said here leads me to believe that one could call this Harry Crouch a collaborator.
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Nothing said here leads me to believe that one could call this Harry Crouch a collaborator.
Did I say he is? I'm just wondering why a "men's rights activist" is a member of a misandrist organization. Till now I didn't get any straight answer, just panegyrics how great a hero he is.
Bert
--------------------
From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 01:55 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#18)
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I gave you a straight answer. Harry joined to make changes, which he has done. Misandrists aren't always the majority within these local government committees, but they dominate by keeping information out, and they would much rather we stay out and just complain amongst ourselves on the internet. Most of these committee members don't search around on the internet to inform themselves. They learn from what they hear and read in the committees. Feminists can control the committees easily because men's activists almost never show up or join, so people only hear of us through the biased filters of the feminists. Lawsuits, media, protests and other approaches are needed too. In fact Harry once organized a protest in front of one of the San Diego DV meetings when they were not listening to him. We came from Los Angeles to be part of it. Here we are in the upper right in the photos at http://www.ncfmla.org/photos.html That made a difference, because after that the leaders knew Harry wasn't as alone at it appeared, and they had to listen a little more to him or he could pull this again. But he's smart enough to go at just the right pace so that the pressure remains constant. Rallies take alot of work and not everyone can take off work all the time, so they have to been used strategically and sparingly.
I have worked closely with Harry for years and I applaud his work, as I do any activist who does front-line work by going straight to the sources and confronting them and incrementally changing their internal dynamics. Harry does an excellent job. He confronts them pointedly and honestly, but he also works on building allies and doing things at a realistic pace. It takes alot of time, patience and persistence to do this.
Marc
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by Anonymous User on 02:20 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#20)
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It just occured to me that maybe some of the confusion here is because it isn't clear that this council Harry joined is a government-run entity, not a private organization. If it appeared as though this was a private group, then I can especially understand the suspicion, because that would like joining the local chapter of NOW. Harry would not join a private feminist group. He made himself a member of a government council on DV that, like most of them, happens to be feminist-dominated. One way to change that is to bring men's rights activists into the committees.
Marc
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by Anonymous User on 03:07 PM December 30th, 2004 EST (#23)
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"He made himself a member of a government council on DV that, like most of them, happens to be feminist-dominated."
I marvel at Harry's interactions with the SDDVC, but then I sit before my TV for hours amazed at Austin Stevens, Steve Irwin, Jeff Corwin, Oshea, etc. as they night after night handle poisonous snakes and other dangerous creatures like they were playing with a puppies. The other night Austin Stevens crawled into a cave of Western Diamond Back Rattlesnakes hibernating for the winter, but their rattles were still working. Yikes! Last night on Animal Planet Jeff Corwin held a Fer De Lance, mouth gapping wide, and dripping venom as he shook like a leaf. Argggg!
As Steve Irwin would say in that Aussie accent, "Danger! Danger!"
You wouldn't believe the misandrist animosity and treachery dripping from the sentences and syllables of those feminists in the domestic violence movement, unless you've seen and experienced their presence on an up close and personal basis.
Harry would point out to me that there are hard core feminists in that group, but that there are also genuinely concerned human beings in need of being reached with the truth. Sadly, historically, it has been the feminists who have led and controlled that group and groups like it.
Harry doesn't juggle rattlesnakes in his pass time, but I suspect he'd be good at it.
Ray
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by Anonymous User on 12:06 PM December 31st, 2004 EST (#30)
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"I'm just wondering why a "men's rights activist" is a member of a misandrist organization. Till now I didn't get any straight answer, just panegyrics how great a hero he is.
Bert
-------------------- From now on, men's rights first."
Bert:
Here's another example that I hope helps assuage your suspicions. Would you wear this shirt to a Domestic Violence Council Meeting? Well, our MRA (hero?) Harry did.
Prison and the Grave Are not Men's Shelters
I'll never forget the day a little girl, probably about 10, saw this picture at a public protest, and stared at it with a very expressive look of bewilderment on her face as if to say, "Why is that little boy in jail?" "What did he do?" "Why would a little kid be in jail?"
Why indeed are the innocent thrown in jail, or otherwise egregiously abused to feed the agenda of man hating, gender feminist beasts?
I wonder what the faces of the hardened misandrists in the SDDVC looked like when they saw this? Again, not all are misandrist in that group. There where some genuinely "concerned" people (just like that little 10 year old girl) who "got it." Those are the people that give MRA's the hope needed to keep speaking the truth, "the whole truth."
Harry is not perfect. He's just a guy like you or I, but he has dared to do activities in the cause of men's rights that are laudable. I don't think Harry has ever tried to be a hero, but he has certainly been a role model to many of us who are working actively to address the issues created by the many gender feminist abuses directed towards males.
Sincerely, Ray
Please do not scroll up the page of the linked item(s). All the info I'm trying to convey is as the page initially comes up.
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by bro on 06:59 AM December 31st, 2004 EST (#28)
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I just read the second part ot this series and a throught came through my head: these people are always holding seminars and creating documentaries about DV while we're always on the outside protesting and creating websites that to them seem on the margins. Why don't we host our own confrances and seminars? Why don't we get a panel of experts who know about the reality of domestic violence and not what the feminsts want us to know. I think we should creat our own documentaries to show the reality of DV.
If we can get these things to happen, it'll bring more light into the reality of the situation and maybe even progress into more talk over how gender feminism is hurting us all.
It's just a throught.
-Bro
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by dschmidt on 07:40 AM December 31st, 2004 EST (#29)
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Actually, until last year (when they could not due to funding/priority issues), the Men's Helpline had hosted one annually for several years in Portland, Maine. I attended one a few years back. There were several displays and an afternoon of speakers ranginng from academics to law-enforcement to survivors/activists.
Problem is, it was unable to get any publicity, so few knew about it outside those already in the movement.
What we need is someone to help fund not only another such conference (I'm sure Jan at the Helpline would be happy to help plan it), but also promote it so it can be effective in the community in general.
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Ray wrote: "Would you wear this shirt to a Domestic Violence Council Meeting?"
Maybe you are right, Harry is not a man who tried to be a hero, but neither am I, nor am I swanky about the things I do for men's rights. But since you ask me if I would wear a MRA shirt, I will tell you something that maybe is better than wearing shirts.
This year the Dutch Department of Justice started a website about domestic violence. As you can imagine, that website was full of the same old feminist crap we all know very well, the same lies you can read on US feminist-sites and UK feminist-sites. I started writing to the Department of Justice and confronted them with some studies which showed different stats than the stats they used on their site. I called their website a big lie and accused them of discriminating half of the Dutch population(men). First they were furious, later they ignored me, but I kept writing. And you know what? It worked. At last they started a section on their site where men can tell their story. You can find it here;
http://www.ministerievanjustitie.nl/b_organ/nhg/fo rum/voor_mannen_is_er_niets.htm
It's in Dutch, maybe you know somebody who can translate it for you. There is also an article from myself with a link to my site "Anti-Feminism". They even allowed me to place that link!!!
There is nothing wrong with wearing shirts, but I think it takes more than that.
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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To make the link work in my post you need to take the space away in the word "forum", between "o" and "r"
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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And then there was a striking silence. What's up Ray, got entangled with your shirts?
Bert
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From now on, men's rights first.
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by Anonymous User on 12:34 AM January 1st, 2005 EST (#36)
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"And then there was a striking silence. What's up Ray, got entangled with your shirts?"
Bert:
I don't understand what you're saying here. Explain please.
Ray
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by Anonymous User on 12:21 AM January 1st, 2005 EST (#34)
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"There is nothing wrong with wearing shirts, but I think it takes more than that."
I agree. If that's all you have you're in trouble. The T-shirts are conversation starters as are the bumper stickers. Usually all I get from the bumper stickers are a thumbs up. The T-shirts are very personal and I have had some interesting conversations. There need to be many facets to the men's movement tapping all the speical abilities that different people have.
Ray
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by Anonymous User on 12:24 AM January 1st, 2005 EST (#35)
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"I started writing to the Department of Justice and confronted them with some studies which showed different stats than the stats they used on their site. I called their website a big lie and accused them of discriminating half of the Dutch population(men). First they were furious, later they ignored me, but I kept writing. And you know what? It worked."
That's encouraging to hear, and points out the work it takes to accomplish something.
Ray
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Bro - You are absolutely right. If we continue to be reactive we will continue to falter. This is why we had the Men's Rights Congress last year and why we are starting to plan one for this June. We need to start our own panels and tell our own story. I hope you will all be coming this year. We will have more news soon about this years event. If you want to be on a mailing list that keeps you informed you can go here:
http://www.trueequality.com/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi? f=list&l=mens%20equality
If you want to learn more about last years Congress you can click the link in my sig.
Do we have True Equality?
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Part 1 of a 3-part essay, submitted by