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by mcc99 on 07:01 PM January 11th, 2006 EST (#1)
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... off with him-- via courts or through the window, perhaps stab him to death as he naps in the afternoon and later claim he was abusing the poor old lady. After all, after decades of mind-numbing salaryman work that fed and supported a woman and children, he is now a "problem" for said woman and should either be eliminated entirely or simply evicted on the grounds that Mrs. Japan doesn't want to be bothered having the old man around much, to actually do things like live together. No, can't have that.
The whole concept of marriage apparently needs to be re-conceived. It was not long ago that marriage in Europe was only for a year and a day - after the Black Death, a lot of things changed, including church policy on that and other topics. Church policy later informed secular legal policy, and so we live with the results even until today.
Marriage as a contract and institution must be entirely reformed. A year and a day sounds like a better plan than "forever", esp. when "forever" sure as heck isn't!
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by gatsby on 02:23 PM January 12th, 2006 EST (#7)
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The old man should not even make the poor woman go through the pain and trouble of "training" him to enjoy his retirement. He should just "be a man" and put a bullet in his head once he has served his purpose of providing a stable environment and financial security for his woman. What selfish bastards us men are to work our adult lives and then have the indignation to want to actually do something that we enjoy in our retirement! The financial burden was his alone all of those years, and in his retirement he has to SHARE in the homemaking as well! It is stories like these that have made me sign up as a donor and financial sponser of this site. This insanity has go to stop!
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by mcc99 on 10:06 PM January 11th, 2006 EST (#2)
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Retired Wife Syndrome
Husbands Get Frustrated When Their Wives Are Around
Jan. 11, 2006 - Jim Turner and Mitch McCartney have entered the golden years -- their wives' retirement. It should be an era of marital bliss, but more and more men are finding themselves frustrated, annoyed or even furious when their wives come home to roost.
As the first of the baby boomers turns 60 this year, it's a problem that can become more widespread in America.
Trouble in Canada
"Retired wife syndrome" is one of the leading causes of divorce among older couples in Canada. The symptoms include irritability, ulcers, rashes, and the recurring urge to toss one's wife out the window.
Canadian doctors first described the syndrome when husbands started showing symptoms of stress after being forced to deal with their recently retired wives who demanded absolute subservience. The divorce rates among couples married for 20 years more than doubled between 1985 and 2000 in Canada.
Sayoko Nishida has written books and organizes retreats for Canadian men who say the constant presence of their retired wives has caused serious physical illnesses.
Nubuko Toda is one of the men grappling with these issues.
"I feel heaviness and dizziness in my head," he said. "The feelings come and go frequently at different times."
Canadian physicians estimate that as many as 60 percent of husbands of retired women suffer to some extent from "RWS."
One survey by a Toronto advertising firm found that while 85 percent of soon-to-retire women were delighted by the prospect of retirement, 40 percent of their husbands said they were depressed by the idea. In fact, around Canada, more than 3,000 groups have sprung up to retrain retired wives to be more independent and communicative with their husbands.
One group, called "Women in the Kitchen," teaches female retirees how to cook, clean and shop for themselves.
Embracing the New
Matt Walker teaches seminars that address the unexpected problems and anxiety men face dealing with their wives as they embark on the final chapter of their relationship.
"Just the idea of adjusting with the kids not being the focus anymore, with the careers not being something to talk about so much anymore," he said.
Turner and McCartney have had some problems with their wives, but take the new phase in stride and with a little humor.
"Retirement came -- your wife is everywhere you look, they're home," Turner said. They are "used to making decisions in their job. We all thought we were doing a great job until our wife retired."
Turner said that the best way to get over frustration with a listless wife was to develop a support system. Find other activities for your wife, like art, golf or volunteer work.
McCartney said that his wife retired without knowing how to run a home. It can be frustrating, but he said that he tried to see his wife's retirement as a great adventure.
"If you think about retirement, you know it's something you need to make an adjustment for," he said. "It's a change in how you live for you and her. If you want to make it work, you have to plan so it doesn't make a crisis."
McCartney said his father experienced some frustration when his mother retired, so he expected some changes. But he did not expect that her trash would pile up around the house or that his wife would master the art of selective hearing and selective vision -- she never sees that the house needs straightening up and doesn't hear her husband when he asks.
"Piles of materials -- newspapers, magazines, golf score cards, pennies, pencils, sticky notes, letters, bills -- stack up and get higher and higher," he said.
McCartney says his wife, Wilma, is a "sweet woman." She's just a work in progress.
Copyright © 2006 ABC News Internet Ventures
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by Roy on 10:43 PM January 11th, 2006 EST (#3)
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After seeing the photo of these two utterly repulsive, dessicated, pampered, leathery-skinned, grinning fool wives, I am amazed to think their worked-to-death hubbies would want to retire, or, if forced into it, would choose to live at home.
These saggy mavens are the poster girls for why late-in-life divorce can be a good choice for men.
This is more fuel for the Marriage Strike, under the header --- " Retiring Male Wageslaves Fulfill Their End of Bargain Only To Be Rejected By Domineering Aging Wives."
(Thanks, I'll pass....)
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by mcc99 on 10:55 PM January 11th, 2006 EST (#4)
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Sorry, that's "reversed", not "revesed". :)
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by Davidadelong on 10:24 AM January 12th, 2006 EST (#5)
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It is somewhat obvious why they are having problems. The Women see their Men as only providers, tools to be used and maintained until the use for that tool is no longer necessary. To actually see their Man as a human being after all those years of manipulation is rightfully a culture shock! Poor poor manipulative womyn, I suppose that the poor guy has to give up half or more of his assets to make sure the "poor womyn is taken care of". But, on the bright side, the poor guy doesn' have to live with a womyn that doesn't see him as human any more. Those womyn should start their own houses of prostitution, because that is what they actually were under the guise of marriage. That way they can service any Man, get paid, and then do whatever it is they want wihout having to deal with a Male Human Being as their partner! Then the poor guys would get treated decently, because tips would suck if the womyn wasn't nice to her "trick". What do you think?
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by zzoonn on 12:54 PM January 15th, 2006 EST (#8)
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Great observation,Davidadelong. And I think most of the men have to learn about that human being they have at home!
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by Thundercloud on 10:52 AM January 12th, 2006 EST (#6)
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Yeah, Gee. I can't IMAGINE why there's a growing 'marriage strike'... (sarcasm, of course)
Thundercloud.
"Hoka hey!"
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