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Save these familiar euphemisms to your file:
Petitioner - Mother,
Respondent - Father,
Plaintiff - Mother,
Defendant - Father,
Obligee - Mother,
Obligor - Father,
Judgment Creditor - Mother,
Judgment Debtor - Father,
CP - Mother,
NCP - Father,
Agreed to pay - Ordered to pay,
Willfully ignored his obligation - He is unemployed,
Has the ability to pay - We assume he must have assets,
Your arguments are not well founded - You're the father, stop trying to get fairness,
We are obligated to give you annual notice - This is the only due process notification you'll see,
It's for the children - Your ex-wife gets the money,
Mandatory Mediation - Mediated agreements only apply to fathers,
Imputed Incomes - Father higher than actual, mother lower than actual,
Address of Record - Where we'll serve you with legal notices,
IV-D Services - Mothers only need apply,
Former Family - Your ex-wife and children,
Private Attorneys - What fathers need,
Federal Registry and New Hire Directory - How we track down fathers,
Wage Withholding - We don't trust you to pay on your own,
Arrearage Garnishment - Our records are screwed up,
Grievance Procedure - How fathers can complain, but we don't care,
Consent Decree - We got caught screwing fathers,
CS Guidelines - Payment schedule for fathers,
Guideline Reviews - We've already made up our mind, but take a chance anyway,
Privacy Safeguards - Your ex is hiding your children from you,
Federal Legislation - We only screw you because the feds say we have to,
Assignment of Support - You ex is on welfare,
Support Enforcement Division - Nothing here for fathers,
Department of Human Resources - Nothing here for fathers either,
District Attorney - Not a father's friend, beware,
Presumption of Inability to Pay - Mothers on welfare never pay, they just collect benefits,
Reasonable and seasonal visitation - Whatever your ex-wife says you can have,
Modification - You earn more now so we're increasing the CS,
Change of Circumstance - What you consider as significant really isn't,
CS Accounting Unit - Where we launder the money to collect our federal bonus checks
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