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The prescription of 'stay at home dads' for society is not a realistic one.
Those who would want to do this gender reversal are in a very small minority. To ask that society undertake this change is very elitist and unrealistic.
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I didn't see Glenn's article as a "prescription." In fact, I see him as saying we need to move beyond the prescribed roles that society has had for so long and decide to do what we find most fulfilling and what makes use of our own specific strengths.
I'm sure there are many fathers who enjoy their role as breadwinner, and feel that they are doing what they do best. But there are also many men out there who live "quiet lives of desperation" in jobs they hate only to find themselves wanting to spend more time with their children. When the kids grow up, these men live with regret for the rest of their lives. Glenn's decision to stay at home is apparently what is best for him and his family, and I think society will benefit when more men have this option open to them.
Scott
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Isnt it really about survival?
I mean in the beginning when man and woman were starting to live together, wasnt it really about, nessecity of the day?
I would think that the situation should be a negotiated one that is best for the family.
All things can be taken into consideration. Things like how much one job sucks over another.
What if the wife loves her job but its paid less than the husbands, but the husband hates his job.
This will have to be worked out.
More conflicts can arise, but as a team, negociated agreements of comprimise and understanding. This was how it was in the begining, but somehow the practical became tradition, and the tradition became a vice, the vice turned to dispute because we forgot what the virtue was before the tradition.
Many women were hunters dont be fooled.
Dan Lynch: Martial Arts for the Modern World.
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Yes. Agree with Scott here. The issue is one of choice. At this point I think it is clear that men don't really feel they have choice in the matter. They feel that they are responsible to work full time. Period. OTOH women have been working diligently to insure choice for women to stay home, to work, or a combination of the two.
I was a SAHD for my kids when they were little (I worked 1/2 time and my wife also worked 1/2 time) and I found it to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I am very close to my kids now even though they are older. My youngest is a 14 year-old boy.
I think that DL has a very good point about the need for couples to work out their differences and to speak up about what they want and then be willing to compromise. (I think that is what you are saying DL....) It can work but it takes some doing.
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"I think that DL has a very good point about the need for couples to work out their differences and to speak up about what they want and then be willing to compromise. (I think that is what you are saying DL....) It can work but it takes some doing"
Pretty much is what I meant, and that the vairiables are numerous.
I just was thinking that like the "traditional housewife role" this is not something that should be automatic. Breastfeeding is something they are proving more and more the best thing for the child.
My friend was laidoff perfectly around the time his child was born, it took him six months to get back to work. I say if you can do it, be there as much as you can. Many guys think people feel they are feminin or "girly" not a man, for doing early baby stuff. What I say is, its how you respond to them that makes it clear to them that your still a man despite your supersession of the traditional role. I am not talking about "hostility" Im just saying some verbal ju-jitsu that can change their mind will help.
Some people posses this already, some may have to think about it and work out something to their own personal liking. There is a chapter in "Getting to Yes" by the Harvard negotiatong faculty. It has some great insights for this, by neutralizing the hostility and paving the road for good communications.
For us who are in the Men's Activism I recomend these skills, all things can be trasferred to your asperations with a little thought. And yes I have been watching Star Wars but I still think it is very useful for us to know :)
Dan Lynch: Martial Arts for the Modern World.
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I think the problem with the house-husband concept
isn't so much the husband as the wife.
How many women would be prepared to accept
long hours of work and alienation from their
children so that a man can lead a life of
leisure playing with children and watching
TV?
sd
Those who like this sort of thing
will find this the sort of thing they like.
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"....so that a man can lead a life of
leisure playing with children and watching
TV? "
And they say feminists are the ones who devalued traditional female roles and looked down their noses at full time parenting as a career.... sheesh.
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And they say feminists are the ones who devalued traditional female roles and looked down their noses at full time parenting as a career.... sheesh.
Agreed. That was a pretty bad statement. Ironically, the most vocal form of opposition to men's rights issues come from men who are male haters.
This issue is about both of the sexes have a right to equal respect, responsibility, and choice. Devaluing a person because of a role they play is quite hateful.
Warble
Disclaimer: My statements are intended to be personal opinion, belief, sarcasm, or allegation.
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To Smoking Drive:
I tend to agree with your point about women being the obstacle. There just aren't many women out there who want to be married to househusbands. If there were, I think men would be far more open minded to the idea of being stay-at-home-dads.
But I wouldn't characterize taking care of home and children as "a life of leisure". Unless one has servants, there's a fair amount of work and stress involved (although in my opinion no more than working long hours as sole or primary provider, especially in an unfulfilling job.)
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by Anonymous User on Thursday May 23, @07:03PM EST (#10)
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Thanks for your agreement. The point I was
making that you at least perceived was that
there are far more men willing to look after
their children than there are women who would
accept a non-providing partner.
Taking care of home and children is an activity
where one is answerable to no-one and free to
set one's own standards.
sd
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