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To
give some background on the situation, my ex is from the Philippines. She and my son were evacuated out of there when the volcano
erupted in 1991. After being in the US for a little over a year, I was sent on temporary duty to Kenya for 90 days. Later I found out that
she had a lover. That lasted until about a year and a half after we divorced. About six months after returning from Kenya, I was sent to
Saudi Arabia. I found out that she had moved her lover into our house, and he stayed there until the day I returned. In November
1994, the divorce was granted and in the settlement, I was awarded custody of my children, a boy, age ten and a girl, age eight.
Before the divorce, my ex was into drugs. The OSI in Abilene brought her in for questioning concerning her involvement in drugs. Her
lover's first Sargent informed me that her lover was considered an alcoholic, and he was denied reenlistment in the Air Force. He got
out of the military, and after the divorce, my ex joined him. At the time, I had eleven months until my retirement. About 5 months later, I
let my ex have my daughter until the end of the summer with my son joining them when school was out. Before school started, my ex
returned the children and I found out that they had been living in a transient hotel in a single room. They had told both kids to call her
lover, "Daddy". Later, I allowed her to move back in because the kids, especially my daughter begged me to. After she moved in with
me, she got a job as a topless dancer, saying she wanted to catch up on her child support. I lost all feelings that I ever had for her. She
never paid a dime and as of this month, I believe she owes over $14,000. She only pays $200 a month. Several months after I let her
move back the last time, I began to get many calls and when I answered they would hang up. My son and babysitter started telling me
she was going to eat lunch with her lovers and taking my daughter with her. My babysitter also told me my daughter had told her that
her mother had told her to lie to me about where they were going. I finally started taping my phone lines and found out that she was
going over to a man's house after work. I listened to the tape early one Saturday morning and then began packing her belongings. I
had her out of the house by noon that day. I had told her when she moved in that I would not put up with her seeing other men or for
her using drugs. I found out that she was using cocaine and grass which I believe she obtained from the women she worked with. She
moved into a transient hotel and then into an apartment.
About six months after leaving, she moved in with still another man. The last I
heard she was to be married in July 2000. After my kids were moved to New Mexico by my parents, they have told me things that the
children told them. Some of them were that my daughter slept with her Mom and her lovers, and when they would go shopping, my ex
would tell my little girl to watch guys when they walked by so she could see them checking her butt out. My ex has also told my son
that she would do anything to get her children back. My parents and I agreed that we would hide nothing from the children, so when I
was arrested, the kids were told. My dad was so scared that my son was going to have a nervous break down because my son started
shaking and crying hysterically and my daughter said in a very calm voice, "Well, mommy will not have to pay her child support now".
Since the divorce, I have not dated much. The main reason is that both kids would become very upset if they thought I was going out
on or going on a date but they do not mind their mother dating. The only time I would go out was when the ex would have the children.
I have made the kids my whole life. Both kids have a feeling that if I go somewhere that I will not come back and that I will abandon
them like their mother practically has done. I may not have been the model father but I am a good father to them. I did no drinking in
front of the kids. Our street is only one block long and the kids were allowed to play on either side of the street but were not allowed in
other peoples houses and their friends were not allowed in ours. They could not go into their friends' back yards unless they came
and asked me first. Until this started, I thought I was my children's best friend. They would tell me their dreams, what they had done
that day, and would draw pictures for me all the time. They did not tell me a lot that happened at their mothers house since they were
afraid I would not let them see her because of what they said she was doing. There was no set visitation in the divorce decree; it
only said was that visitation would have to be agreed on by the both of us. The judge did this to give me a little control of the situation
so the kids would not get hurt. Since the divorce, my ex has repeatedly said that I stole her children even though she never took the
trouble to show up for the divorce court.
I need to say one thing about my daughter. It is that with her mother coming and going in her
life, she craves attention from all adult women. Until she was in first grade, she would call all women that paid her attention, 'mommy',
whether it was a teacher, babysitter, or even her grandmother. On 2 April 2000, I had to go to Lackland AFB, Texas for a class in
hazardous cargo training that lasted two weeks. I asked my mother if she would come to town and watch the children while I was
away. When I got back to the Dallas/ Ft. Worth area on 14 April 2000, I took a taxi home from the airport and my father met me at home.
He informed me that three days after I left, my daughter had told my mother who was baby sitting her, that I had been having full
sexual intercourse vaginally, anally, and orally with her. She took my mother into my room and showed her a nylon briefcase that had
some sex toys in it. One of them was a dildo that was bought for my wife as a joke. It was 8 inches by 2 inch big and it was lying on
the closet floor in front of the door. The bag was setting just inside of the open door. The last time I had seen it was a year and a half
to two years before. I threw the case in the closet in the corner on some boxes and later set some bags on top of it and that was the
last time I saw it. My dad came to town a few days later and they talked about this and they decided to take my daughter to the family
doctor. They did not tell the doctor anything, except that they thought she was having female problems. He sent them to a gynecologist
who walked in, saw her, turned around and told them she was too young to be checked. Dad got upset took her to the emergency room
and my daughter told the doctor the story so the doctor called the police and they, in turn, called the Child Protection Services (CPS).
When I got home that night, dad told me that they had just gotten home from Cooks Children's Hospital where my daughter was
examined. I was told that she had no cuts, tears, scaring, and her hymen was still intact. The female doctor that made the examination
said there was no physical signs that my daughter was assaulted. The doctor, who is 30 something years old, also said my daughter
knew more about sex than she does. Dad then told me that the police wanted me to make an appointment with the CPS first thing
Monday morning 17 April 2000 or they would put a warrant out for my arrest. All weekend I had less than 2 hours sleep. Monday
morning I made an appointment for ten AM where the lady that interviewed me, informed me about the accusations against me. She
asked me a few questions. Some that I remember is, did I have cable or a satellite TV. I told her no but I think their mother did. Did I
let the kids on the web, I said yes but I monitor where they went on it. My son was on sites where he could play games, and my
daughter was on the Barbie sites. When I said I had never touched my daughter inappropriately at any time, the CPS lady called me a
liar and told me to tell the truth, admit it and not drag my daughter through this. She then tried to tell me that my son confirmed it,
saying that whenever I went into her room at night she would sometimes cry. I told her yes, sometimes she did, but the reason was
that my ex wife would promise to pick them up from school and then, too late, she would call at 5-6 in the afternoon and cancel. I told
the CPS lady that my daughter would cry after the call, but sometimes she would hold it back and would cry after she went to bed. I
would go into her room and console her. Sometimes she would not start crying until after I came in to kiss her good night and to ask
her if she was ok. I told the CPS lady that I would lay down beside my daughter, and try to calm her. Sometimes it would get late and
since I could not hear the alarm clock from her room I would take her to my room because I was afraid I would go to sleep and be late
for work. I have surely forgotten most of the questions that I was asked because I was so tired at that time. I told the CPS lady that I
had taken care of both children ever since we got back to the US and that when I changed diapers, I was very uncomfortable in doing
it. That was because in cleaning the girl after she soiled her diapers, it made me feel like I was abusing her. I told her that most men
that I had talked to felt the same way. When my daughter she was sick and had to be given a suppository for throwing up, I had to go
get the baby sitter to do it because I could not do it. I told the CPS lady she should check with the baby sitter and see how I treated
my daughter. I told the CPS lady that I had gone through the same basic thing with my son.
I told the CPS lady that the only time that I
had seen my daughter without any panties on since then was last year. I had been working on the computer after work and the kids
were in the front yard. My daughter came in crying that she had fallen and hurt her lower belly. I pulled her in to my lap, held her,
hugged her and kissed her. She stopped crying, jumped down and went out and played. Later, after she took a bath I sent her to bed. I
had changed into some gym shorts to wear to the bathroom and when I went past her room she was crying. I opened the door and
asked if she was ok. She was holding the upper part of her crotch and cried that it hurt. I walked over, removed her hand and she had
a large red spot on her lower belly, about half an inch above her crotch. I left the room and went to the kitchen to fill a towel with ice to
place on the bruise. I then went to the living room and watched TV for a half-hour or so, then went and checked on her. She had
pulled the ice pack away because she said it was cold. I made her put it back and went back to the living room. After another
half-hour, I removed the ice pack and asked her how she felt. She said "All better daddy" so I dried her off, kissed her goodnight, then
took my own bath. The next morning she acted like it never happened and she never complained about it again.
The CPS lady then
asked why any father would require his daughter to not wear panties. I explained that several months later my parents were visiting
and my daughter developed a high fever. It was on a weekend so we took here to the emergency room. After the examination the
doctor said she had a kidney infection and bladder infection. The doctor thought it was because she was not keeping herself clean
enough. After they broke her fever they released her to go home. The doctor recommended that we watch her more carefully and said
that we might keep her from wearing panties at night to let her breath and help keep the bacteria down. After we got home we sent
her in to take a bath and grand ma went to check on her while she dressed for bed. When my mother walked in, she caught my
daughter putting on her old panties, so after we got her to bed we talked it over and decided to take the doctors advice. I never
thought about it after because it seemed to work and she did not develop any more infections. All the CPS lady did was sniff and
asked if I was sure my mother was there when I made the decision, I told her she was just out side the door and she could ask her but
she just ignored me. I told the CPS lady that my baby sitter was in my house at all different times of the day and night and if I had
been doing any thing with my daughter she would have caught me. I told her that the baby sitter was the type of person that your
house was her house and hers was yours. I told her I was not in the habit of locking my doors and the baby sitter would walk right in,
and when the baby sitter was having marriage trouble, she would walk right in at any time of the day and night. I told her I had nothing
to admit to and that I was innocent.
She asked if my daughter looked like her mother and I told her that her mother was oriental and
my daughter was half. I said "Yes, but she looked like me too". The CPS lady told me she did not believe me and that I was still in love
with my ex-wife and was projecting her on to my daughter. I told her that I was not, that I knew the difference between a 28-year-old
and an 8-year-old. She then told me to go to the waiting room because she had to go talk to her supervisor about putting the kids in
foster homes. About thirty minutes later she came back and said I had two choices: let her put the kids in foster care or let my parents
take them to New Mexico, so I sent them home with my parents. I signed a statement giving my parents temporary custody, for
medical reasons and for school. To say goodbye to the children, I had to go back to the Child Protective Services. After saying
goodbye, the police wanted to interview me. I was introduced to a female officer who conducted the interview. I told them the same
basic story, that I did nothing to my daughter and that I agreed with them that she had too much knowledge of sex for a child her age
but the knowledge did not come from me or from my home. I also told them that I had no way of proving this, and I did not keep a
twenty-four hour a day, seven days a week video of what happened in my house. The officer said that I seemed to be a nice man and
a good father, but every one makes mistakes and I needed to admit mine so she could get me help. I told her that I had done nothing
to admit and I had done nothing, but love my kids. The female police officer asked me if I would take a lie detector test. At first I said
yes but when she asked me again if I was willing, I told her I would like to ask a lawyer about it first. She said I could go but not to
leave the area. I contacted a lawyer and asked him about the lie detector and he said that it was my decision, but if I took it and failed
it I would be arrested. If I took it and it came up inconclusive I would be arrested. If I declined it I was going to be arrested, and if I
passed it, I would be arrested. So if I was going to be arrested anyway, why give them any ammunition to hurt me with. So I declined
taking it. They waited until the eighth day of June to arrest me. I was told that my case would be going to a grand jury within four to six
weeks and it is now the twenty-sixth of July and I am still waiting. Since the interview with Child Protection Services and the police,
neither has contacted my babysitter, my neighbors or anyone that has had any contact with my children other than family and me.
Child Protection Services and the police only took statements from my parents, my ex wife, and me. When my parents first got the
children to their home in New Mexico, they took them to the local Physicians Assistant (PA) since no doctor practices there, to make
sure they were in good health. My daughter told the PA the same story that I had been abusing her. Three weeks ago my mother had
to take my daughter in for a bladder infection and the PA asked her twice in different forms of the same question if any one had ever
touched my daughter down there. In both cases Mother said NO without hesitation. Can you imagine the mental turmoil and
depression all this has unnecessarily caused me?
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