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When guys use similar explanations for their infidelity they get little or no sympathy. But women are held to a different standard, I guess. A much lower standard.
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Well of course. I mean a rotton evil piggish brute of a man cheats because he's a duplicitous so-and-so. A woman cheats because she's not "self-realized" or some other thing that winds up being the Man's fault. Any complaint about cheating women are usually met with "Well, if you were a real man, she wouldn't have to go looking for one."
Huh. Next time some bitch starts complaining about cheating men, Maybe I oughta slap that one out, "Well, babe, if you were a "Real Woman" maybe he wouldn't be trolling the bars looking for one." I think I better make sure I'm wearing a flak jacket first, though. Pheminists tend to go cosmically ballistic when one slaps them in the face with the truth.
WTF, anyway, is a "Real Man?" It get's tossed around like a baseball, but you never hear any of these women say straight out what a "Real Man" is. Conservative women are the worst, as a group they sure superficially talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, they fall way, way short of the mark. It still winds up being "More Stuff For Women." Just wrapped in a velvet and satin coat.
Sick of hearing it. Next time I hear someone yelping about “real manhood” I’m about half ready to pull out my trusty two-by-four and commence to opening up a size-ten can of whup-ass. Bloody twits wouldn’t know a real man if they got their ankles chewed to the bone by one.
Ever notice, gents, how when someone starts talking about how “A real man would” it’s generally followed by you giving something? Rights, money, surrendering your career, your integrity, or your soul? Belly up to the bar, men, it’s time to shed some more of that Y-chromosome blood. Bend over. Here it comes again.
Bah.
Okay, let’s talk about the “Real Man.” The real man of myth keeps those rugged good looks, square jaw, and five O’clock shadow. He grays gracefully, has those solid abs, and dresses to the nines. He never, ever, smells of sweat. He of course does this without being a “Metrosexual.”
The real man is ambition and has purpose, but somehow always finds a way to put his family first. But he keeps his well-paying job and moves ahead despite an insistence on going home early, passing on overtime (mandatory or not), and not working weekends.
Even if it is in a job he hates, and is killing him by inches, the Real Man keeps a stiff upper lip and puts his nose to the grindstone because they Need The Money. He never does anything risky like change careers, apply for the job he always wanted to do, or go into business for himself. To do that would be Selfish and put his needs ahead of the Good Of The Family. Things might become tight for a while, and that might stress her out.
The real man’s woman doesn’t have to work, does so only if she wants to, and keeps her money. His money is “ours” and her money is “hers.”
Even if the missus doesn’t work, the real man comes home and commences with the housework, working side by side with his wife until it is all done. He never forgets to throw his socks straight into the hamper, and if you would go into the bathroom you would swear he sat to pee.
Mrs. Realman is not a baby machine! She has her 2.2 children, and the decision to have any more or less is hers, and hers alone, because it’s her body. The real man knows his place to stand by and support her whatever her decision. And if she leaves him, he sucks it up, because he obviously failed to be a real man. As penance he pays any child support she requests, and butts out of “interfering” with her choices on how to raise the children, backing her to the hilt. And if it turns out that Mr. Realman is not the father of the children, he sucks it up there too, even if Mrs. Exrealman takes up with the children’s natural father, and his child support and alimony is supporting both of them.
The real man is sensitive. After a hard day of brokering deals, being responsible for millions of dollars of goods and/or equipment, he lets Her talk first, because the neighborhood gossip and the same soap opera she talks with her girlfriends all the time is much more important than anything he might have to say. His day, after all, is only that of the draft horse putting a roof over the family’s head and paying the bills.
The real man is a sexual dynamo. He is ready at a moments notice to service his real woman’s needs. He is not premature. He is never impotent. He’s not too tired, or stressed. Even if the real woman has become so fat that they can only have sex in one or two positions, he’s like a rutting goat, as he sees her inner beauty only. Look at another woman? Perish the thought! He of course understands that she likes to look, but would never regard that as disrespect because it’s different. Ever sensitive though, he never allows her to feel pressured into sex, because his needs, being mere male needs, are selfish, animal, and base.
When that promotion is offered which means almost a doubling of salary, Mr. Realman is careful about it! Mrs. Realman might not want to move, because she’d be away from friends who she feuds with on and off, and a mother she never goes to see but talks on the phone with for two hours a night even though they live a few scant blocks away. Somehow he finds away to land that extra green without making Mrs. Realman leave her comfort zone.
The real man never expresses annoyance, irritation, or God Forbid, anger. Such things disturb and scare the missus because he’s so big and strong and might hurt her. As a woman, her kind has been the victim of men for millennia, and even though she’s always been treated like a princess by all the men in her life, he doesn’t want to become an Insensitive Boor™.
When something upsets Mrs. Realman, Mr. Realman dashes for the phone booth, changes into his tights and cape, and Does Something. Since making a mess or engaging in a confrontation would upset Mrs. Realman further, and give Mrs. Noseybitch next door fodder for the gossip-mill, Mr. Realman uses his He-Man Super Powers with Mountain Fresh Scent™ to make everything right. Huzzah! Once more he saves the day!
Our Real Man is the paragon of Chivalry. He is always deferential to the Woman because, well, because she’s the woman. He does this even when, nay, especially when she is wrong, and doesn’t let a snarl of “I can open my own door, I’m not helpless!” deter him from doing it the next time, because she might change her mind, or that occasion might be “different.”
Despite a hundred and two degree temperature and spitting blood, the Real Man doesn’t complain, and still does the dishes because his missus has a cut on her finger and it stings. To complain would be whining and the Real Man is NEVER a whiner! Despite a case of the trots that leaves him running to the john every ten minutes, he gets up and makes his own tea and crackers because men are such babies. However, when Missus Realman comes down with a case of the cramps, the friggin world stops.
He always asks for directions, even when he knows the route, because Mrs. Realman is out of her comfort zone, off the route she takes, and they are therefore lost.
The Real Man never turns off Oprah, but pulls up a seat and watches it with his missus, manfully choking back a tear. He has that delicate balance down to a science, of getting those red rimmed eyes and the faintest hint of a lip quiver, but never actually cries about anything. That would be sissified. He also never watches sports or news which might bore or upset the missus.
Ever the romantic, the Real man always manages to Find A Way to bring the missus a dozen long stemmed roses because He Loves Her. He does this spontaneously, but no less than once every two weeks. Even if the flower shop is half an hour out of the way, he still manages to go there without leaving early and Losing His Job but never gets home late and makes her worry. Despite bills being tight, new glasses for the son, new braces for the daughter, the variable rate going up on the mortgage, utility rates rising, and repairing the engine on Her Car, he manages to find the sixty to a hundred simoleans to do this.
A Real Man understands that traditionally women have been silenced, and therefore refrains for even mentioning something which might challenge her dearly held opinions, because such things are obviously personal attacks on her. Whatever she says, it is met with a smile and a grave nod, as if it were an utterance by God.
Daily he exercises from his portfolio of He-Man Super Powers with Mountain Fresh Scent™ the abilities of telepathy to know what is wrong with her (Because if he loved her he’d know) and clairvoyance to omnisciently know every petty chore that needs to be done, and does them without asking. After all, she constantly beams these things to him so he’s been told a hundred times. Honestly. Men! Any idiot can see that the blender he never uses is leaking!
And finally, when the feces has hit the fan, he proudly straps on his gun and dons his uniform to go be splattered on the landscape of some god-forsaken beach, desert, or jungle somewhere, to save civilization from the Baby Eating Foreign Devils. He’s the first to run into a burning building to haul out kittens, brave the dangers of the highway accident, and right all wrongs with manful use of his He-Man Super Powers with Mountain Fresh Scent™.
And for all this, the Real woman does….
(sound of crickets)
Anyone? Hello? Beuller? Beuller?
Cleans the house? No, that’d be to turn her into a drudge.
Makes dinner? No, that’s patriarchal and oppressive.
Bears his children? No, she’s not a brood mare.
Manages the household finance? Oh, what was I thinking? Does she have to do everything?
Shops? No, because if she has to go to the store, he’s coming too. Unless of course she’s spending her hard earned money (or her half of his) for something nice for her because she never has anything for herself. But that’s different.
Hey, I know! She’s pleasant and loving and …no, wait. She’d have to repress her true self, and that’s *HIS* job.
Gives up her career to – wait, that’s not right either.
She stays loyal and faithful to him? No, there I go again. Expecting women to just trudge along in the old “Stand By Your Man” routine even when he doesn’t meet her needs and she feels unfulfilled, and isn’t swooning with romantic feelings 24-7? Hmph. I must remember though, that men stray because they are pigs, and women stray because men are pigs.
Takes care of the kids? Well, duh! That’s *ALWAYS* been the chore of women, EVERYONE knows that NO MAN has EVER changed a diaper, took kids to school, doctor’s appointments, practices, sleepovers. Jeez, might as well have married a babysitter!
Keep herself fit, sexy, and attractive? YOU ANIMAL! Even if she does, she does it for herself, and not for you, you sex-obsessed PIG!!!
Refrains from correcting or berating him in pub – EXCUSE ME?!?! Are we living in a fascist state now where she’s got to watch her mouth, and play June Cleaver to his Ward all the time?
Well, it doesn’t matter. The Real Man does all this without expecting anything for it, because that’s what a real man would do. So, guys, join up today! Become a Real Man™ and dedicate yourself to serving femininity, because otherwise you won’t be a Real Man™, and you don’t want to get stuck with that label, do you? WHOTTA DEAL!!!!
Hm. How’s this again?
On second thought, maybe the next time some whiney female pundit asks “Where are the Real Men at?” I’ll answer “Hanging out with the Real Women. And if they aren’t hanging out with you, you obviously aren’t one of those.”
* Putting the SMACKDOWN on Feminazis since 1989! *
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Well, that was a mouthfull!
I have to say that is pretty close to the truth for MANY women. Sad, isn't it?
It makes you wonder how feminists can dare say THEY are oppressed.
The Biscuit Queen
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What a comprehensive send up!
Of course, the "Real Man" is one f#@*-upped, repressed, nuerotic ball of tragedy.
There's a lot of good research that shows a correlation between the "Real Man" syndrome and male depression.
The R.M. basically denies his own needs, sublimates his own dreams and desires, and at the conclusion of a lifetime of servility, has the good grace to die on average 6 years earlier than his "better half."
Oh, and the feminists refer to all of this as "male privilege!"
"It's a terrible thing ... living in fear."
- Roy: hunted replicant, Blade Runner
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Nicely done Gonzo. Your post was great. Funny, well thought out, and slams ALL THE BULLSHIT self-justification that women use.
Peace
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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by Anonymous User on Sunday November 16, @02:18PM EST (#3)
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After "cheating," she sez: "I wanted to thank these guys and say, 'Okay, I got what I was looking for. Now you can go.'"
But of course, if 3 months later she finds out that she's pregnant, and she choose not to abort the child, chooses not to put it up for adoption, or just abandon it, then cops will track this dude down and make him pay a third of his income in "child support" for 18 years.
"Now you can go." Right, but don't forget that the law may still hunt you down, depending on what she chooses.
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This kind of article makes me laugh and makes me angry at the same time. I am going to take it story by story to show you why.
Revenge: This wasn't "revenge" for HIM cheating, no, this was because he was an insensitive bore who wanted COFFEE. As usual, I just reverse the situation. I can just see it now: "man cheats, says girlfriend demanded coffee, that makes it ok". Can you hear the feminist columnist's keyboard as she bangs away tearing this cheating man up? This isn't even a "GOOD" reason, but "she learned from the experience". Did she learn not to cheat? No, she "learned" that she wanted a better boyfriend.
Attention starved: Ya gotta love this one. She cheats on her boyfriend, who is long distance, but says it was "a symptom of something wrong in the relationship". I got to wonder if her boyfriend had come back from the Bahamas and told her he had done the same thing if she would have been so supportive. And there is once again something ignored. She wanted the commitment and security of having this boyfriend for his attention and as an emotional-pit-stop so she didn't feel lonely. She liked the phone calls and the I Love You notes or whatever for HER, but when she wanted to GET LAID (lets call it what it is) she self-justified it. And the "lesson" she learned was that if she isn't "getting what she wants" she just moves on. Special a K-Mart this week: Disposable Men.
Boyfriend Overlap: this one ticks me off as I had this happen to me. What she did was basically get a new "attention giver/sex toy" while still in a relationship. Her excuse was that "he was moving". Ok, so if HE had gone ahead to secure his new job (I AM assuming why he moved, but go with me on this) and found a new squeeze would SHE have felt it was nice that he had set himself up in a nice new life while SHE was left with the ashes of lonliness in HER mouth? Not likely. And the unasked question, did she make sure to use protection so as not to ENDANGER her unsuspecting "OLD" boyfriend. What a selfish and childish tramp. She sets the scene where SHE won't have to endure the lonliness of breakup and now she feels she should not tell him because: "it might hurt him". Undoubtedly it would, but let's get real, she doesn't want to admit she cheated, acted like a ho, and she doesn't want to deal with his feelings of betrayal that would undoubtedly "scar" HER. Self Absorbed.
For the Story: This one has her boyfriend and some old flame at the same club. Now, let's be clear on how women are folks: if I have MY girlfriend with me and we run into MY old girlfriend out-and-about my current girlfriend is going to want me to CLEARLY show whom I am with. She will want me to make it very clear that I have a commitment to her in front of someone that will stir up her jealously. If I did not, I would be an insensitive loser who was "ashamed of her" and such. And then if I went further and FLIRTED or MADE OUT with my old flame I would have HUMILITATED my current girlfriend. And suppose these two had realized the game and gotten into a fight. I bet she would have LOVED that. I been in quite a few fights. I'm damn good at it, but, I have lost a few too. Point is: next day, win or lose, you feel pretty tender and most times you got social or legal repercussions to deal with. But does our emotional adrenaline junkie child in a woman's body CARE about that, or take any culpability? If your answer is yes, I got a bridge in New York I want to sell you.
Wild Girl Inside: So she had, I admit I am assuming, unprotected sex with two guys she thought of as disposable. She got to be "wild". Nice how she couldn't give that "wild" side to her husband/boyfriend. Nah, he had faithfully been with her for **6** years, had intertwined his life with hers, had put in the commitment time, but she wanted to be "wild" with 2 complete strangers. She gives MORE to 2 guys she didn't know or CARE ABOUT AT ALL: 'I got what I was looking for. Now you can go.'
And then she treats them like disposable men too. Starting to see a pattern here folks? And suppose she had gotten pregnant, like the last poster had suggested. Would she have cried "rape?" if her beau had threatened to walk out? Or maybe she would have stuck HIM with the child/bills/fatherhood since he was so stable and nice.
This whole article is just self-justifying moral relativism that smacks of childish me me me.
Peace
L Steven Beene II
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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I posted this on the Men's Hour Blog a few days ago, about the differences in what they say makes a man cheat and a women cheat. The women cheat stuff is from the women's page of a British newspaper.
What makes women cheat? Someone holds a gun to their heads, of course!
"I believe it's also something of a backlash. Men have had affairs since time immemorial; now many women are thinking: 'It's my turn.'" Right! So, because Henry the Eighth had six wives, every women alive is allowed six husbands? Leaving aside cheating women in history, apparently these women have never heard two wrongs don't make a right, or maybe it's just an excuse.
When you look in What makes women cheat? you find
"So many people are now getting divorced and having multiple partners, that we see this as the norm. As a result, women are becoming more predatory and instigating affairs".
There is a helpful section on "So how do you avoid an affair?". Well you could always say "No", but actually it includes "Keep communicating", "Listen to each other" and "Make your feelings clear"; something I thought women did automatically.
For comparison I found Why Do Men Cheat ? and the answer here includes sex, ego, excitement, because they can, trophy hunting and fear of getting old. All his fault. No suggestion of "keep communicating" with your current girlfriend and no suggestion that if your Ex has cheated on you then you can cheat on your current girlfriend, let alone if other women has cheated on other man, then you can cheat.
In Rise of the wandering wives we get "Cheating husbands are being beaten at their own game - by bored wives". Not only have all men cheated (not true) but no women has cheated (not true) and it doesn't matter what your husband has done, some man somewhere has done it; and the wives are bored anyway.
"Our predecessors used to go to the make-up counter and buy themselves a lipstick to cheer themselves up, but now women will go out and flirt with a colleague, have an extra drink and suddenly they are having an affair. "
Perhaps if we put lipstick prices down?
"Women are very good at lying so they get away with it and their girlfriends will cover up for them."
Isn't that the charge against men? They support each other as part of the patriarchy by covering each others affairs. Apparently that was part of the "proof" of men hating women. Is this proof of women hating men?
Now that women are clearly cheating in numbers, because they can, because it's the norm and because they can't afford lipstick perhaps this will mean we'll hear no more talk about how men are cheating (and women are so loyal). Perhaps.
Raymond Cuttill
menshour@menshour.com
Men's Hour Blog
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