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Editorializing and preaching ahead.
You can thank your lucky stars that the loss of your job is all you had to go through. You could have faced jail and lawsuits.
You've learned a valuable lesson here, albeit the hard way, that things like "yes" or "no" or "maybe" mean whatever a woman wants them to mean at any given moment. If she changes her mind, it's your fault for not reading it. If she decides ex post facto that she shouldn't have done (whatever she did) you will be the horrible agressor, because it can't be her faul, because she's a woman.
We talk a lot here about how women actually have the power in the world. It's mostly true, except that we as men tend to give it to them. We let them control access to sex, rather than us controlling access to it. (Hey, gents, women want it just as much as we do.)
I submit to you, though, that you cannot have anything resembling an equal relationship with a woman. Can't be done. You have to get the emotional upper hand from the get go, and make it perfectly clear that you would sooner walk than hand the reins over.
To a certain extent, it's easy for me to say. I'm forty-odd years old. Had my vasectomy, my kids, and have set my assets up to be untouchable. A lot of you younger guys, you want kids, you want a family.
Well - your roll of the dice. Had I known then what I know now. Sage counsel. Don't believe the bull shit about "true love" and "If you loved me you..." Hogwash. If she loved you she wouldn't try to emotionally manipulate you. Set your ducks in a row. Have a battle plan, and if and when she starts pulling the crap, resolve that she is the enemy and unload on her first. And above all, don't let her know how much you are worth.
Better yet, wait until your thirties, and find one of these "strong, successful, independent women" who are hearing their biological clock tick like the clock of doom. Women desperate to be a mother will tend to agree with anything, including a pre-nup.
Avoid living in California, liberal dominated states, or the south.
Now, you had a problem at work; while I sympathize, I can only ask, "Learn something?"
Keep all your relationships with women in the workplace on a purely professional, need to associate basis. Don't have dinner with them, don't have a drink with them, don't sit with them in the cafgeteria - don't even talk to them in your office without the door open or a witness. Jests are right out. Properly, address them as "Miss Smith" "Mrs. Jones" or "Miz Brown." (If they insist on Ms. then you can drag the "z" sound out long enough to make your contempt for it clear, but not so lock it's patently mocking. It will irritate them.)
They might complain you "don't like them." Heh. You have plausibel deniability built right in. "We're both unmarried, Miss Johnson, and I want to make sure we keep our relationship purely professional." "You're involved/ You're married Mrs. Black, and I was raised not to be overly familiar with women in your situation." "Nothing of the sort, Ms. Miller, but as I am involved in a committed relationship, such familiarities would be profoundly disrespectful to my significant other."
Arm's length. "Call me Sue." "Yes, Miss Smith." Plead work, family commitments, doctor's apointments, meetings, conferences with clients, whatever you have to do. Get a picture of your cousin Ann who lives in Walla Walla Washington, put it on your desk, and/or buy a gold ring to wear on your finger whuile at work. Claim your religion doesn't allow it. Tell them you're gay. Tell them you're a republican. Tell them that "the love of my life passed away only a short time ago, and I feel like she's watching me." (That last one is good, women eat romantic crap like that up; not only will they give you a wide berth after that, even the most roundheeled slut will consider you off limits.)
So. There ya go.
---- Burn, Baby, Burn ----
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thanx for your response,at my job right now i do alot of walking round the parkin lot.takes my mind off things.i needed this website to let out my frustrations.you were honest and i appreciate that.good allies are hard to find.
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Gonzo -
Useful advice.
Thanks for your comments.
.
- Mr. Dave . . . Reno, Nevada, USA
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by Anonymous User on Friday May 23, @08:17AM EST (#2)
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Like it or not, today anything that remotely implies intimacy or a physical gesture of friendliness in a work enviroment often results in negative consiquences for the male involved.
I hate to say it, but if your job was important to you, you should have thought twice about hugging a fellow employee even if your intentions were clean. There are leagues of feminist trained ideologues that are waiting to pounce on men like you, and they have no problem taking your livelyhood away and to marginalize you into the growing underclass of men in our society.
The problem today is that women often use similiar gestures with men, and in general, men do not report such acts as "hostile" - yet women do. So there is a clear double standard on this subject, and it discriminates against men only.
An interesting point that someone brought up in another thread is that there are no studies that tell of the number of men that have been displaced by these secular "neo-puritanical" laws.
Also, your fellow employee who got you fired should have said she didn't like it the first time. I can understand why a nurse would not want to hugged by a cleaner while on the job... think about it.
I'd keep your touching out of the workplace in the future, even if it is well intended.
CJ
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dont worry i am.the song by alice cooper says it all"poison".thanx for the tough love,dude.i still hate hillary.
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Why are there so few males in nursing and other traditonally female occupations? Now, you know why.I am a male R.N.. The experience that this individual had with regard to the nurse in question is an example of the both the covert and overt forms of discrimination that occur against males in nursing and in all of the other tradtionally female occupations. The accepted conspiratorial anti-male bias that he experienced is, also, the norm in nursing.The lack of "due process" and other fundamental and tradtional norms of judicial fairness are, also, the norm within nursing and are considered a feminist-Marxist norm, especially with regard to males.Nursing has a very high percentage of "gender feminists." The same encourages preferrential treatment for females and the exclusion of males from the profession.At Texas Woman's University, all Bachelor of Science in Nursing students must take and pass a course in "womens studies" in order to graduate. His unjust and unfortunate experience is repeated against, on a daily basis, other male health care providers. Males need to take "ACTION" on a collective basis to prevent this sort of tragedy and sexism from occuring against other males.
C.V. Compton Shaw
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what the world needs is love and not hillary clinton,kd lang,ellen degenerates,and all the lesbo-nazis that poison our society with their men-hating philosphy.i still hurt and i cry and scream w noone to talk to but god,and i wonder if he listens.it makes me want to shoot heat sinking missiles at the hospital.thats how much it hurts.ive tried counseling but it dont help either.anyway thanx for being there to read my comments and replying.i didnt thinkanyone would.
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Everyone has advice to give, and here is some advice I am giving to myself, but it may apply to you. It is not very original, and it sounds sort of new-agey, but here it is:
Activism helps. Don't give in to anti-male elements of society. The easiest form of activism is charity, helping out other men who are suffering just like you, but may be in even worse circumstances. Charity is not the only form of activism, though.
Avoid watching TV. (This is straight from AH.)
Optimism is essential. Eventually things will improve, it is just a matter of time.
In the meantime, instead of imagining bad things happening to feminists or people who discriminate against you etc. try to imagine good things happening to you, other men and the men's movement. This slight change of attitude can be difficult, but it is worth a try.
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First off. By all means if you are a man take every precaution to protect YOURSELF at work from anything that could be used by the femitwits to persecute you.
Next, has anyone ever considered that women as a group are now emotionally crippled? They can't seem to recognize genuine human affection from men. One could say that men are screwed over by the new gender politics but women are REALLY screwed up by it. It seems that women are now emotional cripples and disfunctional in relationships. They are accidents waiting to happen. They are living in an artificial world that infantizes them. Too bad they can't sue someone for doing this to them. And too bad they are not smart enough to recognize what has happened to them.
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Thank you for your comments,and yes women really are SCREWED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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